I NEED YOUR HELP WITH AN ENGLISH PROJECT!!!!!

Ski patrol packed dynamite in his little nazi general boots.

he deflects the bullet with all the money he stole from the general

somehow someone saves him, breaks him out of jail, the jew lives, but his savior dies!

not so classy. but very funny.

his mutant powers kick in and he stops the bullet and the nazis end up using him as a secret weapon and win the war. bamm

Jew used teleport!
it fled from battle!

I'll drop some knowledge
1) My english teachers name is Tim Swanson and we call him TSWANS coincidence?
2) So i heard this holocost story and this lady was held in front of the head of the SS (Heinrich Himmler) He asked he "why should i let you live?" out of hatred she spit in his face! he looked at her and his solders were in awe. Himmler said "I shall let you live, but only because your the only jew with some fucking courage."
3) Himmler was a dick

is he literally about the be executed? if not...the americans captured the camp where the general was? you could inglorious bastard it and have a group of people undercover and save the about to be killed person. theres so much shit u could do.

fucking dragon, the teacher will have no clue what has happened.

space vikings

lol my first name is tim also

wow thats pretty fun and im pretty sure she wasn't doing that because she thought she was gonna live.

have a random plane drop a bomb on em Saving Private Ryan style. when hes shooting at the tank at the end with the pistol

He realizes that the world is just a giant computer simulation to keep humans alive while robots harvest them for energy and that the laws of physics are only laws as he conceives of them.  He then proceeds to slow down time and dodge the bullets that they shoot at him.  He eventually escapes and answers a public telephone that takes him out the computer program and back into real life where his fellow humans are plotting a resistance against the robots.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH BEST IDEAS EVERRR

the inglorious basterds come in and fuck the general's shit up

or maybe:

Right as they are about to shoot him, he sees a penny and bends down to pick it up.  The bullet they shoot flies over his head and hits a barrel of gasoline behind him.  The barrel catches on fire and all the Nazis run away fearing that it might explode.  He runs the opposite direction of the Nazis and barely escapes the explosion.  As the barrel explodes into a ball of fire, he shouts "nooooo" and is knocked to the ground by the force of the explosion.  He lays on the ground apparently unconscious for a couple of seconds while the Nazis yell in the distance.  Right when the reader thinks he is finally dead, his eye slowly twitches open.  He gets up and runs to a nearby village where he takes refuge in a family's shed.  Then he meets a princess, has sex with her a lot, marries her and lives happily ever after.

fuck my bad, didnt see that

In his cell he meet's his uncle who tells him he's only half-jewish. He realizes that he can control his natural jew urges. So instead of dying with his riches like all the others, he trades his jew gold to the general in exchange for his freedom.


Or his uncle could tell him he's the son of rambow, then he just fucks shit up and kills hitler.

haha

this, but emphasize the last part

You could say that right in the middle of conversing with the nazi general, the US assaults the concentration camp. while the general is distracted you take his gun and you dont shoot him, displaying the theme of how fragile and special life is. You escape and the general is taken into custody by the Us military.

You'v dug yourself a hole with this essay, like where the fuck do you go from there.... Only slightly logical thing I can think of is a sniper but that pretty cliche.

alright so the nazis are about to hang him so they have the noose around his neck and they look away for one second and BAM THE JEW THATS BOUT TO BE HUNG BENDS COMPLETELY OVER AND RIPS HIS OWN PUBES OUT WITH HIS TEETH (and theyre like ten feet long by now) AND FUCKIN STARTS SWINGIN THEM AROUND LIKE A FUCKIN WHIP AND KNOCKS OUT THE TWO SS SOLDIERS AND THE EXECUTIONER AND FUCKIN HIM PUBES TURN IN TO PUFF THE MOTHER FUCKING MAGICAL DRAGON AND ALL THE OTHER JEWS GET ABORD AND THEY PREPARE TO FLY AWAY WHEN MEGAN FOX RUNS OUT OF THE WOODS NAKED AND IS LIKE TAKE ME TOOOOOO AND OF CORSE THEY TAKE HER . SO THEYRE ON PUFF THE PUBE DRAGON AND SHIT STARTS GETTIN CRAZY LIKE POPPIN CHAMPAGNE BOTTLES AND SHIT SO MEGAN FOX OF COURSE GET DRUNK AND STARTS HAVIN SEX WITH EVERYONE AND SNORTIN SHIT OUT OF THAT JEWISH DUDES PUBES (that are now puff) AND NO ONE KNEW THAT CHUCK NORRIS WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME VIDEO TAPING EVERTHING AND HE WAS BAM!!! AND THOUGHT ABOUT REDTUBE AND THE VIDEO AUTOMATICALLY UPLOADED AND INSTANTLY HAD 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VIEWS

he beats the general to death using...

alright so the nazis are about to hang him so they have the noose around his neck and they look away for one second and BAM THE JEW THATS BOUT TO BE HUNG BENDS COMPLETELY OVER AND RIPS HIS OWN PUBES OUT WITH HIS TEETH (and theyre like ten feet long by now) AND FUCKIN STARTS SWINGIN THEM AROUND LIKE A FUCKIN WHIP AND KNOCKS OUT THE TWO SS SOLDIERS AND THE EXECUTIONER AND FUCKIN HIM PUBES TURN IN TO PUFF THE MOTHER FUCKING MAGICAL DRAGON AND ALL THE OTHER JEWS GET ABORD AND THEY PREPARE TO FLY AWAY WHEN MEGAN FOX RUNS OUT OF THE WOODS NAKED AND IS LIKE TAKE ME TOOOOOO AND OF CORSE THEY TAKE HER . SO THEYRE ON PUFF THE PUBE DRAGON AND SHIT STARTS GETTIN CRAZY LIKE POPPIN CHAMPAGNE BOTTLES AND SHIT SO MEGAN FOX OF COURSE GET DRUNK AND STARTS HAVIN SEX WITH EVERYONE AND SNORTIN SHIT OUT OF THAT JEWISH DUDES PUBES (that are now puff) AND NO ONE KNEW THAT CHUCK NORRIS WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME VIDEO TAPING EVERTHING AND HE WAS BAM!!! AND THOUGHT ABOUT REDTUBE AND THE VIDEO AUTOMATICALLY UPLOADED AND INSTANTLY HAD 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Aliens

or

*views

Jackie Chan

is it in the 1st person?

kill him. the reader expects him to live. you will make a better statement as a writer if he dies.

historical accuracy

agreed. kill him. yet continue the story about how the us or un forces capture and conquer the base in the coming day, and liberate all the jews

definitely kill him, not even very dramatically, just sad. guaranteed +2 points at least on your grade

once he's dead have it serve the greater good, like he somehow sacrificed himself to give the americans the location of that nazi camp and they end up coming in and taking it over, just make it so he didnt die in vain but kill him for sure

fuck i watched the most kick ass foreign film in 8th grade where this happened, like exact plot, the guy sacraficed himself for his son, he was making his son think they were at camp and not a concentration camp, it was really fucking good. ill try to figure it out for anybody interested.

SHUT THE FUCK UP EVERYONE


alright, so the general is about to the hang the jew, but RIGHT AT THE MOMENT where they kick the chair out from under the jew, and he falls through the air, the most badass, grizzled, crazy motherfucking hotshot sniper shoots the rope, splitting it in two, from a thousand fucking leagues away with a rusty, bolt action rifle with open sights.


after that its your fucking problem.

yeah i agree you should kill him. but maybe make it look like hes about to survive to throw the teacher off a bit. fuck i wish i was writing awesome stories like this but instead im stuck writing essays about essays.

i know i'd give anything to write sweet short stories but i'm stuck with analytical bullshit

fuck this i'm taking creative writing next year

oh yeah, that'd be funny

wow theres some funny shit here!

Life is beautiful i think it is, i watched it last year in school.

the jew has a knife in his pocket, slips it between the generals ribs.

One of the german guards realizes how fucked up it all is and mows down the people on the shooting range who in turn gets shot while the jew (aka the guy with the moustache and top hat from the game monopoly runs away)

Donald Trump needs a new accountant

Bill Gates comes along and the Jew Trades places with him making apple an amazing jew company.

The holocaust gets put on pause.

Any of the above will get you a gaurantee passed.... maybe.

haha

finished my paper but im gonna keep this going!

this thread is hella funny

understatement of the century