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Jury Duty

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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
I received a Jury Duty Summons today in the mail. I want to get out of this. The trial is scheduled for a week. They don't indicate what trial it is. I was hoping that because of my job in news media I would be exempt, apparently I'm not. Jury duty sucks.
Apr 22 2010 2:33PM
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Ski_The_East10
Posts: 582 - Karma: 3
Apr 22 2010 2:35PM
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0ptions
Posts: 2198 - Karma: 60
Don't you have to be picked for the jury first? Try to get challenged by the attorneys somehow.
Apr 22 2010 2:36PM
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pmills
Posts: 7162 - Karma: 59
don't you have a 6th sense which allows you to immediately tell if someone's guilty or not
Apr 22 2010 2:39PM
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babujib
Posts: 5039 - Karma: 104
in the interview or whatever theyll ask you some questions. just say well i mean the police arrested this guy for a reason, he must be guilty, and youre free.
Apr 22 2010 2:42PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
During the interview alude that you are of the Asian feeling in trials:
"Guilty until proven innocent cause if you are innocent why would you have been arrested?"

Worked for me.
Apr 22 2010 2:46PM
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MattWeiss
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 376
I had jury duty earlier this year too, and it does suck, especially if you get seated on a jury, which I did. If you really want to get out of it, when the lawyers ask your group questions to see who they want to pick for the jury, just be very judgemental and narrowminded (even though this might not be the case) just because the lawyers won't want someone who just sees things one way. Or you can do like one guy in our group did and said he shot someone, that got him dismissed from it really quick.
Apr 22 2010 2:50PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
You'll have to go through a series of questions with both the prosecutor & defense attorneys. As previously mentioned, just allude to the fact that you've already made up your mind & the defendant must be guilty since they arrested him. The defense attorney will dismiss you almost immediately.

You can also take the opposing position that you wouldn't ever find someone guilty because of the flaws in the system. You can state that you don't like cops blah blah blah & you would never put someone in jail. That's not something the DA wants to hear, so they'll send you on your way.

Basically, just pick an extreme end of the spectrum & you'll be good to go. I've been summoned 3 times & this has worked every single time.
Apr 22 2010 2:56PM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
Last time I was summoned for jury duty I had to go on line and take a test or something to see if you were eligible or some shit. All I remember was there was a question on there about if it came down to a cops word on a situation, would you trust him solely because he was a cop. I picked hell no, and when I went to check the date that they needed me it said I was no longer requested for jury duty.
Apr 22 2010 3:01PM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
Thanks guys,
The issue here is, I don't want to make a racist prik of myself because of my existing line of work, and being in court all the time anyway for stories....so I guess I'm going to have to suck it up and go.
Apr 22 2010 3:31PM
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0ptions
Posts: 2198 - Karma: 60
you don't have to be racist, just hint that you've already made up your mind.
Apr 22 2010 3:34PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
The fact that you are in journalism makes me think they won't take you anyways.

Prosecutor's worst nightmare is the press.
Apr 22 2010 3:35PM
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[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
winner
Apr 22 2010 3:35PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141
Do not fuck around. If you lie to them when they ask you questions, will you be cited for contempt? Probably not... but why open the door. Just take your medicine.
Apr 22 2010 3:36PM
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MattWeiss
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 376
you could just say you have a personal bias because of something in your past, and that you don't think you could be impartial to each side before hearing all of the trial. Basically if you have any bias that you make known to the judge or atourneys they will dismiss you. one lady got off in the trial i served on because she got arrested when she was in college for underage and said she couldn't look past that (she was also a lawyer...don't know how that happened)
Apr 22 2010 3:36PM
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Kajex
Posts: 1069 - Karma: 178
after getting out of being summoned 4 times ( full time college student is a wonderful excuse ), i decided last summer to go.  it was sick cuz the courthouse is only 3 blocks from where im living now, so i was able to head home for lunch, etc.  but it was crazy cuz they didnt call anyone out of the waiting rooms all day, and like 3 hours early they announced we could go home and didnt haveta come back at all.  seeing business men and women cheering and high fiving was pretty hilarious haha.  so basically i got paid 5$ WHOOHOO to sit on a sweet leather couch and read " the alphabet of manliness " in an air conditioned room on one of the hottest days of the year. 
Apr 22 2010 3:37PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
You can't be held in contempt if you aren't in the actual trial stage. You can say whatever the fuck you want to get out of jury duty.

My favorite... saying you think everyone arrested is already guilty. Works like a charm.
Apr 22 2010 3:39PM
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Ski_The_East10
Posts: 582 - Karma: 3
best book ever.
Apr 22 2010 3:43PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141
Here, if you're in front of a judicial actor, you can be held in contempt at any time on their whim for whatever behaviour they feel warrants a sanction.
Apr 22 2010 3:48PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
You have to answer truthfully yes during the questioning process but you say "he is guilty cause he was arrested" they aren't going to keep you around long enough to check if you are just saying that to get out of it.
Apr 22 2010 3:50PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141
Like I said, probably they won't do anything, but why give them a chance. There's no burden of proof on contempt, if they suspect you're just being a dick, they can cite you. Again, probably not going to happen, but I wouldn't do it. It's weird how people treat legal authority - people will let a cop do whatever the fuck he wants with absolutely no concern for their rights, yet blow off a court order like it's nothing. What's the difference, one of them has a gun? Because it's the guys with the paper who can really hurt you, not him, he's not going to shoot you.
Apr 22 2010 3:58PM
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LARd.
Posts: 117 - Karma: 281
tell them your uncle is a cop and they will not choose you
Apr 22 2010 4:00PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
That is dumber than saying you are a KKK supporter. That sort of shit they can check easily.
Apr 22 2010 4:03PM
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Snowcase
Posts: 11456 - Karma: 634
If I had the chance I would tell them how absolutely retarded the cops in my town are and how I have no respect for them because of it. I also love lawyers.
Apr 22 2010 4:20PM
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MADDECENT
Posts: 5579 - Karma: 951
haha genius
Apr 22 2010 4:29PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
if they ask you what kind of tv shows you watch be sure to talk about CSI, and just how realistic it is
Apr 22 2010 5:09PM
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CLASH
Posts: 35 - Karma: 10
how the fuck would the legal system work if every asshole like you guys tried to get out of their duty?
Apr 22 2010 5:21PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 170
"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."
Apr 22 2010 5:28PM
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Kajex
Posts: 1069 - Karma: 178
it honestly wouldn't, and i understand that. sometimes jury duty just isnt convienent. Like when someone has a job. Or classes. That's why I got it rescheduled a bunch of times and then finally went. Also, who would you rather have on your jury ? A kid who doesn't care and really doesn't wanna be there ? or a person who doesn't mind as much ?
Apr 22 2010 6:00PM
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Alex_G
Posts: 11902 - Karma: 1,018
just overanalyze the situation and state the situation from all possible viewpoints so that there really is no clear verdict, they will hate you
Apr 22 2010 6:03PM
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geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
^
Apr 22 2010 6:13PM
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ORski21
Posts: 423 - Karma: 12
just dont go. my dad had a case that went to trial, and during lunch one of the jury members skipped out. My dad asked if they were going to subpoena him and make him come back and the judge just laughed and said they never did anything like that cause they dont have the money or the resources to do it. If you just dont respond they wont do anything except send you threatening letters
Apr 22 2010 6:17PM
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Steezy_IN_KC
Posts: 2033 - Karma: 1,607
Here is my theory on jury duty... just say some outlandish shit like... yeah hang em all! every single one of them!

You will get out of it.
Apr 22 2010 6:19PM
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montageskier
Posts: 4725 - Karma: 126
That's pretty shitty they sent it to you only a week out. But, just go and have your mind set on something and don't stray from that opinion and you should be good. I went in once and did this and it worked.
Apr 22 2010 6:23PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
second thought, go!
the movies have taught me it can be way fun

Apr 22 2010 6:23PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
wouldn't jury duty be fun? I've always thought it would be fun to hear cases and stuff...
Apr 22 2010 7:43PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51257 - Karma: 157,314
I've never sent mine back before and so far so good
Apr 22 2010 7:53PM
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rhcp
Posts: 2598 - Karma: 18
That is such a bad idea.  I know two people who have gotten fines of $2000 dollars for not showing up to their scheduled jury duty (in MA).

Oh yeah, and they still had to go to jury duty.
Apr 22 2010 8:54PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
just say.

"im not racist, i hate all minorities equally"


they wont want you.
Apr 22 2010 9:26PM
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Chompo.
Posts: 4952 - Karma: 88
hahahahaha
Apr 22 2010 10:20PM
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t_rob
Posts: 6433 - Karma: 11,458
jodi, aren't you the leader of some extremeist group?
Apr 22 2010 10:26PM
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ski_DC
Posts: 1347 - Karma: 53
This thread is ridiculous. Why are you making such a big deal out of this? It's just jury duty. I'm sorry that for all the good your country has done for you, and for the rest of its citizens, that you can't give up a few hours of your time in exchange. Half of the kids posting in this thread probably don't even know what jury duty entials, nor are they even of eligible age. This is just beyond immature. I mean no offense to all at the OP, and I know firsthand that jury duty sucks, but show a little backbone.
Apr 22 2010 10:34PM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
read the thread a hole. its a week (at least)
Apr 23 2010 11:14AM
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mtaylor
Posts: 152 - Karma: 10
Ways to get out of it: If you own your own buisness, if you have a planned vacation and paid for a ticket or something, and if you really can't stop working. I don't know if you could make any of these things happen? But yeah. Jury duty sucks.
Apr 23 2010 11:24AM
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steezeeepolizeee
Posts: 8756 - Karma: 796
say that you are a chronic masturbator and if there are scheduled breaks during the trail for your convenience
Apr 23 2010 11:30AM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
This would not be a lie.
Apr 23 2010 11:41AM
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rhcp
Posts: 2598 - Karma: 18
Hahaha.  Please say that then, and let us know their reaction.
Apr 23 2010 11:44AM
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ski_DC
Posts: 1347 - Karma: 53
the point remains. and even though the trial may last for a week, ultimately you will only spend a few hours of your life in the process. let's not resort to name calling
Apr 24 2010 4:37AM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24703 - Karma: 29,680
"I DO NOT BELIEVE IN 'INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY'. IF YOU ARE IN COURT, YOU ARE ALREADY GUILTY IN MY HONEST OPINION"

It has gotten me out of jury duty TWICE, as well as my mother, and my cousin. NEVER fails.
Apr 24 2010 6:13AM
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blackoutbill
Posts: 2918 - Karma: 282
Say you believe in the brain in a vat theory. Google it, they won't want you anymore
Apr 24 2010 9:41AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
one of my teachers in what you guys would call HS (he was a little weird overall) once told us a story how he was in the jury. the case was some young dude who was charged for dealing drugs and/or battery.

and our teacher was like "hey, if anyone of you is in that position sometime, remember: either give him life sentence or say non-guilty, BECAUSE THAT GUY WILL FIND YOU IF HE GETS ONLY 2 OR 3 years."

he was dead serious and went on to repeat "he will find you and he will GET you" like four to five times.
Apr 24 2010 12:46PM
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