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March, 2024

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So she's catholic...

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omIV
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 306
...and I'm...not catholic.

Basically, I've been seeing a girl at my college.  She's a conservative catholic school girl (not the slutty kind), and I relate to her at a personal and intellectual level (unleash the flaming).  I don't mind taking it slow, she's really fun, its worth it.

But I'm Jewish.

This girl used to work at a convent for silent nuns. Goes to church every Sunday morning. She once stood me up for lunch because a meeting with a faith group went long.

I know she's into me, she's always eager to see me...I just don't know how to delicately inform her that I don't accept Jesus as my lord and savior.

I haven't been seeing her long enough that I've had to lie about anything.  There was a point in the conversation last time I saw her that I had to side-step a little bit, and it made me feel cheap.  So I definitely want to get this over with before I get more involved with her.

Any help/suggestions?  Serious thoughts are really appreciated. If you call me a fag for actually liking an individual, well, I really don't need to address why I'll be ignoring you. Thanks
Feb 7 2010 10:19PM
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east_toast
Posts: 479 - Karma: 16
well you could always pee in her butt
Feb 7 2010 10:20PM
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Click_Here
Posts: 1728 - Karma: 14
wont work dude. i have a large catholic family (i turned atheist) but they are fucking harcore when it comes to religion
Feb 7 2010 10:20PM
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gunstalk
Posts: 336 - Karma: 10
get invited to ladies men cult

all the answers here you will get raped
Feb 7 2010 10:20PM
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onearmwanderer
Posts: 1153 - Karma: 31
"I just don't know how to delicately inform her that I don't accept Jesus as my lord and savior." just say it its not that hard... if she takes offense in you saying that, she's not for you.
Feb 7 2010 10:21PM
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charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 372
youre jewish.

i think she'll respect you for that.
Feb 7 2010 10:21PM
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Delphi
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 36
you know, you don't have to ascribe to her religion. If you like her, be open about it. If she is worth her salt, she won't care that you are jewish either. mutual tolerance is good.
Feb 7 2010 10:22PM
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lahnabonny
Posts: 1260 - Karma: 35
why does this not surprise me
Feb 7 2010 10:22PM
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Cheezcake.
Posts: 721 - Karma: 22
yup.
Feb 7 2010 10:23PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 170
lol @ you willingly dating anyone who is that retarded.





also, she shouldnt give a shit if she isnt an ignorant cunt, seeing as you all worship the same god, and christianity is just an offset of judaism.
Feb 7 2010 10:23PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
what he did there.

i see it.
Feb 7 2010 10:24PM
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saskskier
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 9,984
Don't lie about it about what you believe.  It's a legit issue, so bring it up and talk about it.  Don't go ahead and make assumptions about what will or will not happen.  Who knows.  Good luck to you man.
Feb 7 2010 10:25PM
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charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 372
way to claim atheism like a fucking champ.
Feb 7 2010 10:25PM
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BootySpunk.
Posts: 8148 - Karma: 84
Same situation I had...but she got all butt hurt because I didn't really care about religion and what not. Than her ex came to visit and shit went downhill from there. Needless to say I dropped it like it was hot because she was really Catholic in a weird way and it seemed like she tried to shove her views down my throat and I wasn't cool with that.

My advice...if she starts trying to shove her religion down your throat and you don't like it than drop it because it gets really annoying really damn quick.

Feb 7 2010 10:26PM
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seemeski
Posts: 4210 - Karma: 124
If she can't accept that there are other religions then she obviously isn't on the same intellectual level as you and stay away from that poor, brainwashed girl.
Feb 7 2010 10:26PM
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omIV
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 306
Well she doesn't mention anything relating to her religion that often when we're talking. I don't think that that she'd try to convert me.  I'm more worried that she wouldn't see a future in me because of it and then break it off. So I want to get over this hurdle early, when I don't have as much to lose and so I don't get caught in deceiving her.
Feb 7 2010 10:29PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
honestly, if shes worth it she will accept you religion.


my mom would be pissed if i dated a catholic chick, she only wants me to date jewish girls, but fuck jewish girls, jewish girls are never hott and are always stupid fucking hipster bitches.
Feb 7 2010 10:29PM
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.jr
Posts: 5313 - Karma: 356
so it was the religion she was shoving down your throat that bothered you? not the..









Feb 7 2010 10:29PM
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3ski6guy0
Posts: 9201 - Karma: 132
i didnt read any of what you wrote but i would assume the correct answer is to tell her she sucks
Feb 7 2010 10:29PM
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Delphi
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 36
no, this has nothing to do with intellectualism. You can be intellectual and not  agree with other religions. It may mean she is intolerant, but she can still be an intellectual. I'm sure plenty of complete geniuses out there don't agree with other people's shit-doesn't make them any less smart. Just means they don't agree with what you may agree with. It's not a crime, it's perfectly human.
Feb 7 2010 10:30PM
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BootySpunk.
Posts: 8148 - Karma: 84
If she won't start a relationship with you because you don't believe in the exact some morals as her than that is just stupid and not a girl you want to date.


And to Jon...Fuck you.
Feb 7 2010 10:30PM
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C-Burg
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 130
I'm Catholic and you should stay away from her because other Catholics are all we really have
Feb 7 2010 10:33PM
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_steffen_
Posts: 903 - Karma: 124
OhMyBosh does it again calling people who are religious retarded
Feb 7 2010 10:35PM
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Deletedtoday
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 398
probably smoking laced weed lolololol
Feb 7 2010 10:37PM
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saskskier
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 9,984
I'm going to go ahead and say that it's something that should be set in stone, but does it not make sense to date someone who is on the same moral playground as you?  If I'm the kind of guy who wants to wait until I get married to get it on, I'm not going to date some chick who wants to hook up on our second date.  Life is complicated enough without adding unnecessary complications.
Feb 7 2010 10:37PM
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Scott0_robot0
Posts: 3291 - Karma: 212
just tell her whats up man, dont let it wait just go for it and if she doesnt like it than chase some other girl dont keep chasing her if she not going to ya know  so just tell her.
Feb 7 2010 10:38PM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
+K for post and icon
Feb 7 2010 10:38PM
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C-Burg
Posts: 4729 - Karma: 130
might be one of the most intelligent statements ever one this site
Feb 7 2010 10:39PM
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saskskier
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 9,984
Fail on my part.

It's NOT something that should be set in stone.
Feb 7 2010 10:40PM
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omIV
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 306
That's a fair point.  But I really don't mind holding off on the physical side...I've had dinner with her three time and I've barely touched her.  I honestly have no idea where a relationship with her would go, I just like her that's all.  So yes, ideally I would love to be able to say "I will only date jews," but that only holds up until you meet a catholic girl who you're into.
Feb 7 2010 10:40PM
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BootySpunk.
Posts: 8148 - Karma: 84
Completely agree with you man.
Feb 7 2010 10:42PM
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saskskier
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 9,984
For sure.  Just talk it over.  It's going to become an issue at one point or another, so I'd get it over with before it becomes the elephant in the room.  Tough situation man.
Feb 7 2010 10:42PM
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seemeski
Posts: 4210 - Karma: 124
I think it has to do with intellectualism. By now, if you are religiously intolerant I think you're a moron. If she likes him but then finds out he's a jew and cuts contact, she's an idiot.
Feb 7 2010 10:44PM
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_steffen_
Posts: 903 - Karma: 124
i cant wait to hear what happens
Feb 7 2010 10:47PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
is she though? (an idiot)

i would never end a non serious relationship over religion. but ill tell you right now im not going to marry someone with differing vastly religious ideologies. (to a certain extent, im not going to split hairs like Lutheran, Baptist, etc)
Feb 7 2010 10:48PM
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karmagod
Posts: 925 - Karma: 11
I mean, I never understood why this is such a big deal. Especially when Catholicism (well Christianity more likely) is just an add-on to Judaism. You chop parts of babies weiners off and her savior is a carpenter.

Are they really that different where you can't just not talk about religion. It's the same basic belief structure of love thy neighbor, do unto others, yada yada. Why can't that be enough?
Feb 7 2010 10:49PM
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Delphi
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 36
what do you mean "by now?" People have been intolerant since the beginning of mankind. It's never going to change. Are you saying that jews who only marry other jews are idiots? How about people who only marry within their own race? Every religion has it's hang-ups and beliefs. Are muslims who hate christians because they worship jesus instead of mohammed idiots, or are they just living according to their own belief system? Being intolerant doesn't make you a moron, it just makes you an intolerant person, which by some measures is worse than being a moron. But intolerance doesn't always reflect intelligence...it reflects your own opinions.
Feb 7 2010 10:50PM
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Uncle.Badness
Posts: 2545 - Karma: 55
YES! a fellow jew!. Anyways, you don't need to tell her that you don't accept Jesus as your personal savior, but if she does inquire, just tell that you believe he is a great man and a prophet, because that is what is believed in jewish faith.
Feb 7 2010 10:50PM
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superpoluha
Posts: 1986 - Karma: 10
there is no god, so...
Feb 7 2010 10:51PM
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saskskier
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 9,984
You can be the most intellectual person in the world and still be intolerant.

If a person is truly serious about their religion and/or what they believe, chances are they aren't going to start making exceptions for someone they are into.  Depending on what you believe in, this is a stupid idea or it is admirable.
Feb 7 2010 10:51PM
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3ski6guy0
Posts: 9201 - Karma: 132
hi
Feb 7 2010 10:52PM
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omIV
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 306
I have no idea how long-term this relationship would be. Its freshman year at college, so I mean the average span can't be that long, but all I really care about with her is spending time with her.  So I'm definitely in it for the right reasons...which is why I feel that I have to be upfront with her.

I understand what you're saying re:marrying&religion, but I mean I'm not looking any further ahead than freshman formal in a few weeks.  Theoretically I guess I could be with her for a while, but we sort of just hit it off really quick and I haven't done any planning/long-term thinking.
Feb 7 2010 10:52PM
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Broseph_Stalin
Posts: 3745 - Karma: 177
WIN
Feb 7 2010 10:53PM
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ROOS.
Posts: 1992 - Karma: 39
tell her youre down with the good part of the bible
Feb 7 2010 10:56PM
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omIV
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 306
I'm not a very involved jew, but I know that's wrong.  There are 55 canonized Jewish prophets, and the last one was Malachi, and he lived like 400 years before Jesus.
Feb 7 2010 10:57PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
start reciting the Torah in Hebrew. that would be impressive.
Feb 7 2010 10:58PM
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Idahoskier420
Posts: 719 - Karma: 86
you should be able to get past the whole religion thing if you want to make it work. it shouldn't really be that big of an obsticle unless she's a cult style fanatic
Feb 7 2010 11:04PM
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PeterWojnar
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 678
I'm ashamed to say it, but I agree with OhMyBosh on this one.

Ultra conservatives are the cause of many problems... That isn't to say that liberals are perfect, but at least most of them are intelligent. I mean come on, just look at who supports Sarah Palin as a viable human being... The very same people who are legitimately concerned that Obama is bringing communism to the states, the same people who will vote for palin in the 2012 election, if there is still an election because Obama fails his bid for despotism.

Now I'm not saying all catholics are extreme republican conservatives, but there is something about religion in general that has made me turn away from it all. Though I was forced to attend chirch for most of my life so far, I never really believed any of it- because I really don't care to know. I can see, hear, and feel the world around me, and that is enough for me. I don't consider myself an atheist, I consider myself a sort of existentialist. But one could call me an apathist as well- I just don't care. I believe that when you die, you die, and nothing is left but a rotting corpse. First there was nothing, then I was born, then there will be nothing again. Instead of worrying about the future, you should worry about today. And don't worry- just live life, love life, and have fun with it, as cliche as that sounds.

As for the OP's dilema- do whatever you think is right. Tell her and stay with her, tell her and find someone else, or tell her and pee in her butt. Just don't keep lying.
Feb 7 2010 11:09PM
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saskskier
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 9,984
Why does everyone think that just because they take their particular religion seriously, they are a "cult style fanatic."  That's just ignorant.  For many (myself included) what they believe isn't just a hobby or something to pass the time, but is something that is part of everyday life.  That doesn't mean they are weird or obtuse about it (although many are), it just means it's something that is important.  It can become "that big of an obstacle."
Feb 7 2010 11:10PM
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Slinger1x1
Posts: 8853 - Karma: 65
I FUCKING LOVE THIS THREAD

im jewish (although i dont personally believe in good). My parents only want me and my brothers to marry jewish girls, or girls who will convert. Out of love and respect for my parents, i agree to do this

this is my view. date the chick. test the waters. you arent getting married or anything yet.
if you make it to the next stage, and you guys love each other, then you will both make the sacrifices you need to to make it work. whether she converts or at least agrees to raise your kids jewish (since that is what it is really all about), or she doesnt and you guys break up on good terms, well then atleast you dont lose anything...
Feb 7 2010 11:10PM
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MACAQUE
Posts: 2811 - Karma: 696
Well then I lol at any girl that has willingly dated you.
Feb 7 2010 11:21PM
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