Do not text your friends profane things if their dad uses their phone
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
What happens in vegas stays in vegas... except herpes that shit will come back with you.
at least 2 perfectly good kitchen tables destroyed. and the damn old guy, put some clothes on.
“From the lobby, it looked like he elbowed you in the face, you thanked him and asked him for another. Then you came and spat your blood into the garbage as a show of dominance over the rest of them. FRICKIN’ AWESOME!” *high fives me*
this is fucking great i'll do this if im in the right situation, but i feel like there are times when it is a huge douche bag thing to do and no one would find it funny that you just broke someones table and spilled beer all over everyone/everything
RIP Shane McConkey
RIP CR Johnson
"Put a potato in the exhaust, and when she comes to start her car, stab her in the face. That'll show her." -T-Holt
we play that the only time it is acceptable is if your team hasnt made a shot and you only have one cup left- then you can dunk- automatic win but you have to buy anything you break- its only appened about 3 times- cost me 45 because i kept sliding and broke a lamp as well as the foldabe table