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March, 2024

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The Onion Thread

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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141
In this thread, The Onion's best articles, opinion pieces and ONN videos will be posted... because I am loving The Onion right now. They come up with the funniest concepts ever.
Nov 24 2009 6:30PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141

Police Still Searching For Missing Productive, Obedient Woman
Nov 24 2009 6:30PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141

Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End To Clippers Game
Nov 24 2009 6:31PM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99


one of my favorites. (I know its a repost, point of the tread.)
Nov 24 2009 6:31PM
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Quinn
Posts: 1428 - Karma: 16
^meh didnt really like that one

Nov 24 2009 6:35PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
Nov 24 2009 6:43PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141

Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President

A classic from the election.
Nov 24 2009 6:56PM
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connory998
Posts: 1197 - Karma: 34

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's
Nov 24 2009 7:02PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141
This one might actually be a little over the line.


Al Qaeda Also Fed Up With Ground Zero Construction Delays
Nov 24 2009 7:12PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012



one of my favorites
Nov 24 2009 7:14PM
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kepler.
Posts: 8761 - Karma: 139
Haha this is such a good idea. This thread is gonna be endless.


Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
Nov 24 2009 7:20PM
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KarmaInitiative
Posts: 2028 - Karma: 174

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
Nov 24 2009 7:23PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141

International Scandal: Don Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide To Create Film Role
Nov 24 2009 7:23PM
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theblackrod
Posts: 2162 - Karma: 575
my favorite, the stats on her made the clip
Nov 24 2009 7:33PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
Ahahahaha yessss, good idea JD.
Nov 24 2009 7:35PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,500
best thread ever
Nov 24 2009 7:37PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141
I just love the on-site reporter.
"Police will continue their search for a few hours but then will stop, because it will be dark, and they lack perseverence."
"America is in rapid decline because her people no longer strive to exceed."
"Mmhmm."
Nov 24 2009 7:41PM
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Utard
Posts: 2132 - Karma: 296
the onion needs it's own tv channel
Nov 24 2009 7:55PM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
I loved this one. Then I realized that it is true, and I got sad...

Keep it rolling.

Nov 24 2009 9:58PM
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Shark.
Posts: 3158 - Karma: 270
hahhaha the words across the bottom are the best part.
Nov 24 2009 10:18PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
i know, you have to watch each episode twice, once watching the video, once reading the bottom line
Nov 24 2009 10:27PM
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ZavierV
Posts: 5077 - Karma: 100
This is a GREAT thread. SO much win.
Nov 24 2009 10:43PM
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PAuL_Hellar
Posts: 1355 - Karma: 62
hahah this thread rocks
Nov 24 2009 10:49PM
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wh@t
Posts: 6204 - Karma: 52
hahaha whatever, i love the madarin cuz i live in Singapore so its fucking hilarious. xie xie ni hahahaha
Nov 30 2009 12:39PM
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Omega2227
Posts: 225 - Karma: 11
best one by far

Nov 30 2009 12:42PM
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Steezius_Maximus
Posts: 1152 - Karma: 22
ahh shit i missed that movie
Nov 30 2009 12:45PM
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Joshua.
Posts: 2957 - Karma: 6,229
bahahahhahaha a new favorite for me
Nov 30 2009 1:26PM
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J.D.
Posts: 21362 - Karma: 5,141
Nation's Poor Bastards Never Even Saw It Coming

November 30, 2009 | Issue 45•49

setTimeout('$("#related_media_holder").replaceWith($("#related_media"));', 200);
toolhover('99446_side','email'); toolhover('99446_side','share');

NEW YORK—According to a report published Tuesday by the Center for the Study of Goddamn Fucking Shames, 96 percent of the nation's sorry sons of bitches never even saw it coming. The study found that two-thirds of those surveyed didn't stand a chance, 21 percent never would've thought for a second, and 2 percent were just sitting there minding their own business when all of a sudden, whack, right in the back of the head. "Poor bastards," head researcher David Childress said. The report also showed that the remaining 4 percent did manage to see it coming, but before they had a chance to do a damn thing about it, it was too late.

Nov 30 2009 2:40PM
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ObviousFakeNSer
Posts: 3 - Karma: 10

Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus
How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son
Nov 30 2009 4:24PM
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Lt.Dan
Posts: 87 - Karma: 11

I stumbled on this the other day,  thought it was pretty good so for those of you who aren't too lazy to click a link

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/attractive_girls_union_refuses_to

Dec 5 2009 5:42PM
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Jordan
Posts: 4079 - Karma: 2,122
Click for larger image
Dec 5 2009 5:44PM
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ISkiSwitch
Posts: 3157 - Karma: 22
ahahaha, that dorm party one is hilarious.
Dec 5 2009 6:36PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,168

Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes
Dec 5 2009 6:39PM
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jayo.
Posts: 5015 - Karma: 34

I highly recommend that you all pick up Our Dumb World.
It's an atlas of the world written by The Onion

Dec 5 2009 7:06PM
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1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,003
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iMucmRlPZK0&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iMucmRlPZK0&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
Jan 8 2010 2:50AM
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1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,003
sorry, embeder not working
Jan 8 2010 2:50AM
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THATS_STREET
Posts: 2250 - Karma: 33
will be pickup up the onion and reading on the subway tommorow. nothing beats the paper copies.
Jan 8 2010 2:51AM
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Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,352

DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico
Jan 8 2010 3:05AM
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remove
Posts: 2566 - Karma: 1,026
my threads for later
Jan 8 2010 10:15AM
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CypressGrove
Posts: 1116 - Karma: 12
http://www.theonion.com/articles/radical-islamic-extremists-snowboard-into-us-embas,5594/

Apr 5 2010 8:54PM
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hurrisun
Posts: 6284 - Karma: 49
http://www.theonion.com/video/nasa-scientists-plan-to-approach-girl-by-2018,14400/


hers an amazing one about nasa picking up girls
Apr 6 2010 11:18AM
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easiestEC
Posts: 2471 - Karma: 489
the sad thing is, some people probably believe this. its really REALLY well done haha
Apr 6 2010 11:28AM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15078 - Karma: 9,132

Police Say School Shooter Had Troubled Past, History Of School Shootings
May 21 2010 7:19AM
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Alex=God
Posts: 2422 - Karma: 139
my threads
May 21 2010 10:30AM
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Hermondo
Posts: 1244 - Karma: 52
i can't post one because everyone has already posted the best one :(
May 21 2010 11:01AM
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.Asain-Skiier
Posts: 3708 - Karma: 977
Jul 9 2010 11:55AM
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hellyeaaaah
Posts: 640 - Karma: 8
haha i love this one
Jul 9 2010 4:41PM
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bitchezluv=]
Posts: 869 - Karma: 43


my favourite for so many reasons
Jul 9 2010 4:48PM
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grams.
Posts: 7406 - Karma: 186
This thread is just what I need to pass time after knee surgery.
Jul 9 2010 4:55PM
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thesheik
Posts: 1488 - Karma: 18
Jul 16 2010 3:34PM
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