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Mid Life Crisis? Help in any way possible

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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
First off im just going to say I know a lot of people are going to hate on this, so just keep it do yourself, its doing no good. So I guess il start off with some background on me... Well that's easier said then done, the problem is im struggling to identify who I really am. Its been troubling me for a while.

All my friends have moved away for schooling, an hour and a half away, although the distance is relatively short iv drifted apart from everyone. My family is un supportive of all I do, to say the least. I have no one to turn to. I work long hours and have a fair amount of money saved up, but at a cost far greater then I was ever willing to spend. I have everything (material) that someone could ask for, and probably alot more then others, Iv worked hard for all I have, its all iv been taught. From a young age my dad raised me to be a hard worker, but no matter how hard I work im always lazy to him. Iv been seeing a councilor lately once a week to help deal with it all.

The only thing that truly makes me happy is longboarding, and its literally saved my life more then once during my lowest times.

No one understands all the pressure im under, and now its time to get away from it all...

Iv always wanted a camper van, the possibilities just seem endless what you can do with them. What im really wanting to do is buy one this winter, fix it up, and hit the road in the spring. I live in Saskatchewan Canada, not the best place for all the sports I do, I mtn bike, kayak, unicycle, rock climb, hike, camp, fish, ski, scuba dive, and the list is pretty much endless, if its outdoors I either do it or want to try it.

I just want more then anything right now to pack up my bikes, my boards, my skis, strap the kayak on the roof and head west to BC, then head south through Idaho, Utah, Nevada, California, maybe stay a while somewhere if I find some place I like. I want to be able to do my own thing for a while, hopefully gain some life experience along the way,

I have no idea how long it will take me to find myself, it could be months, or even years, but there is always the limiting factor of money. As long as I have money for gas in the vehicle and food for myself il keep going. Hopefully I can work along the way. Im thinking down the line fellow NSers can help me out with a place to crash and people to ride with, and offer odd jobs in exchange for food or money.

Im still a ways from doing this, so I guess all im looking for right now is some feed back, has anyone done this sort of thing before? what did you gain from it? should I even do it at all?
Oct 15 2009 2:20AM
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Mead
Posts: 285 - Karma: 41
just chill and do what you want for a while...if you focus on making yourself happy everything else comes bro
Oct 15 2009 2:22AM
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thedutchmayn
Posts: 1653 - Karma: 45
that sounds like an adventure man. go on it. do it. most kids dont know what they want to do anyways, they just end up in school if they have the money.
Oct 15 2009 2:32AM
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CypressGrove
Posts: 1116 - Karma: 12
^this. iv'e been all over the country, looking for a place a really wanna be. made some really good friends along the way. thats all i really want to do. travel. through all of it i found one person that makes it all worth it. someone i can't wait to see everytime i hit the road.
Oct 15 2009 2:37AM
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moonofendor
Posts: 1484 - Karma: 14
go enjoy yourself. your parents will always love you even if they don't approve of some of your choices.
you seem to be pretty depressed right now, and i'm guessing your 20ish, so these are the prime years of your life.

you don't want to be stuck at some desk or in some factory for the rest of your life always wondering what would have happened.

if it takes a couple of months to a couple of years who cares. i'm prolly gonna end up doing something like this once i get outta college.
good luck and post up any tips if you ever do this.
Oct 15 2009 2:38AM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
bingo, twenty in April.  and depressed is putting it mildly. There is no one left in my city, everyone is in school an hour and a half away. I dont work a desk job (thank god) im an apprentice electrician, going into first year school next Monday for two months. After that if im still feeling lost im going to do it. Im going to look for a camper van anyway, cause if i dont go it'd still be a good investment for weekend fun seeing as I usually* work four tens (last few months are more like 5 twelves, plus working extra on weekends for my dad) I bought myself a nice HD video camera so il get lots of video along the way. I got a helmet cam too, just waiting to get a HDV to record to and il be set
Oct 15 2009 2:51AM
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freelowda
Posts: 1311 - Karma: 1,583
Do it man, if you don't it will only be an opportunity you regret not taking later on down the road. When I was 18 I embarked on a similar (if less extensive) mission, and it turned out to be one of the best years of my life. Squandering in your home town is not going to help your state of mind even if you are working...there is much more out there, and if it leaves you with nothing financially when you are done, the life experiences will more than make up for it! If anything it will open up more opportunities along the way.
Oct 15 2009 3:44AM
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mozzy
Posts: 1034 - Karma: 60
Oof. Sorry to hear about your situation, keep your head up. If you have some money saved up, and even if you don't, I'd suggest applying to school and studying for a higher degree-

You get in a more social environment, you're interacting with people, you're making connections. Hopefully you'll also make some like-minded friends.

You're learning something that hopefully interests you, which is a key to a job, and a key to making and saving money.




Oct 15 2009 4:17AM
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Static
Posts: 8491 - Karma: 4,059
If you do it, get a white ford E150 or chevy 1500 work van, much less conspicuous to live in than full size camper vans.
Oct 15 2009 4:26AM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
im an apprentice electrician right now, set to go to school next monday. I love my job. but recently iv worked with some people who made it very miserable and its hard to even enjoy work.
Oct 15 2009 8:40AM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
Wait, how old are you? the way you are talking doesn't seem to indicate a midlife crisis, those are like when 40-45 year olds (actually around their mid-life) have identity problems and try to fix them by buying a porsche if they have that kinda cash. As for your issues, sounds like you need to get out, but don't take it overboard. Make sure you don't end up somewhere stranded with no cash, grass or cash. I dig the whole year round ski bum type of mentality, kudos if you can make it work.
Oct 15 2009 9:22AM
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GORlLLA
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 45
Ughhhhhh I need spark notes
Oct 15 2009 9:23AM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
oh, and if you do the whole camper van thing, get a dog. the road/ camper could get really lonely and a dog is the shit
Oct 15 2009 9:25AM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745

TC I know what your going through...I drove across Canada to ease my anxiety of being mediocre in life. It was one of the best experiences ever. If you have the means to do it...Then do it. Be well and good luck.

Oct 15 2009 10:16AM
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Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
Totally normal.

Sell anything you can sell and do it. Also check out couchsurfers.com you can plan things pretty well with that site.
Oct 15 2009 10:28AM
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jtski
Posts: 805 - Karma: 21

Do it man.

If you end up close to broke, just go to Portland, Oregon, Boulder, CO, or Burlington, VT - you can make good money as a pan-handler on the street, hanging out with the other 20 year old people doing the same thing.

Oct 15 2009 10:30AM
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JRullo
Posts: 1794 - Karma: 265
you better hope its not oyur mid life crisis or else you will only live to be like 60 haha but if you take a good 2 month trip and just relax and do all the stuff you love it willl help you find yourself or at least feel better about life. and you can get campers for pritty cheap so thats good. and i would def wanna ski with you if you ever gome to springs
Oct 15 2009 10:58AM
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soulskier
Posts: 17805 - Karma: 3,821
that sounds like a great idea, can i come?
Oct 15 2009 11:38AM
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VT_FLO
Posts: 3806 - Karma: 147
do it, my friend's doing the same thing from vt to seattle washington, and he is saying it's the best thing he's ever done. Ive known him for awhile, and he was not happy at home at all. I say go out there and do it, go find yourself. You could crash in my dorm this or next semester, or in my apt after that if you ever get to vt
Oct 15 2009 11:44AM
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shragler
Posts: 572 - Karma: 32

Go work for a resort in the mtns! you will get a job, free passes and some even give you housing! Then you can do your sports all year all the time and there is always a bunch of peoplke doing the exact same thing! You only live once, do what you want to do! I say bounce from that town for a bit. There is a whole world out there go explore it!

Oct 15 2009 11:49AM
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-+Siver+-
Posts: 1902 - Karma: 12
I find in life that the things you most regret are the thing you didn't do. Go for it.
Oct 15 2009 2:10PM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
mid life? hope not, more like 1/5 life crisis.
Oct 15 2009 2:19PM
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t-roy
Posts: 4041 - Karma: 52
read the book Into the Wild.  i speed read your post and you might be able to relate well to that book. obviously don't take it to the extremes in their but it might give you some ideas.
Oct 15 2009 2:25PM
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the_moderaper
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 218
well im in a good mood so ill prolly help you. first off... ITS SNOWING IN CT RIGHT NOW IM SO HAPPY!!!!!! second... are you going for a camper like this:
http://www.ideamerge.com/motorhomes/canada/2006_20_motorhome.jpg

or a van like this: http://www.geocities.com/MotorCity/Shop/5995/jpgs/HippieVan.jpg

id think that the RV would be nicer than the VW but the VW has better gas by far and is imo sooo mich sicker. just throw your stuff in there with food, a propane grill, and a mattress. not air mattress, real matress or ull never use ur back again
i support this and hope you find what your looking for. best of wishes
Oct 15 2009 2:59PM
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daringharry.
Posts: 476 - Karma: 9
this is true
Oct 15 2009 3:31PM
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switchieski
Posts: 575 - Karma: 15
this is easily the sickest thing i have ever heard, if i lived out there, i would help you on your soul finding expedition, but all i can do it ten you out on your karma man, and ride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oct 15 2009 3:56PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
thanks so much for all the good support. lots of post while i was at work, glad to see it.  
To clear up some questions, im 19, its always been a bit of a joke to me that i would die young and doing somethink crazy, my friends used to call me Krazy Karl. haha i actually got an analysis done by my councilor to see why i was like that and feared nothing, I do anything just to get a rush, and lately nothing does it for me.

Someone said go for a few months, I need more time, i want to expireince all the seasons in the mountains. And someone else said sell all i can and do it, i would bring all I own with me, bikes, kayak, camping gear, longboards, thats the major stuff i own, the  rest isnt worth to sell. Someone said get a dog, it wouldnt be fair to it, it cant just saty in the van all the time, thats too cruel.

Someone said get a job on the mtns, I WOULD FREAKING LOVE THAT. that is the plan, get a job in the winter on the hill, and maybe planting trees in the summer, or if possible stay on with the hill, since i bike too. And being with people doing all the same stuff is exactly what I want.

and yes, iv seen into the wild, havent read the book but saw the movie. I would def stock up on books before i left, that will be one of them. Then i can trade with people in my travles.

+k to everyone that helped me out :)
Oct 15 2009 8:22PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
im looking more at a full size van or mini van, like a chev astro panel van, i was driving the company van today and liked it alot. Iv got an old tent trailer my neighbor at the lake gave me, its got a stove/sink, a 3 way fridge, and all the water hook ups and heater and electrical il need. then I can make the van how i want and have fun in the process
Oct 15 2009 8:27PM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
im in the same situation as you except i left my friends because they were dicks and im probably 5-10 years younger
Oct 15 2009 8:38PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
im 19. And maybe your friends aren't such dicks, it could be you, I have come to realize that myself. Some were dicks, some weren't and it was my fault. Think long and hard about it and maybe you can salvage your friendships.
Oct 15 2009 8:42PM
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Leafman
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 251
no there complete dicks, and im 18, i thought you would be in your mid 20's, my b
Oct 15 2009 8:44PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15949 - Karma: 9,431
that sounds awesome! do it
Oct 15 2009 8:48PM
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PAuL_Hellar
Posts: 1355 - Karma: 62
id say just do what you gotta do
Oct 15 2009 8:56PM
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Hugh_Conway_jr
Posts: 746 - Karma: 467
Pack up and go. You'll have a blast .. some things will suck, and in the end you still wont know what you want to do .. but, you'll know what you don't want, and that's important.


Oct 15 2009 8:57PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
i hope you really think hard about it, I was stubborn for a long time, and realized that most weren't that bad. But i also had complete dick friends too, and maybe its true that all your friends are. Im not sure of your situation, just though i would share me two cents, and maybe you can salvage friendships. Im beyond that, that's why i need to get out, see new things, meet new people and have fun. Iv always put too much stress on myself. If i dont do this now il continue to have a lonely life, where all i do is work, sure it gets you money but at what cost?
Oct 15 2009 8:59PM
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jimmer
Posts: 3586 - Karma: 80
do it man! sounds like an awesome experience. i'll be moving to either salt lake city or seattle this next year so if your travels bring you near there hit me up for sure.
Oct 15 2009 9:19PM
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sim
Posts: 1399 - Karma: -6
If I were to guess, I'd say you are from PA. 

Regardless, it is pretty obvious that you do need to do something like what you said.  Pack up and go.

I'm suggesting an alternative though, and that is to get right out of Canada for a while.  Not that a camper isn't cool and not that you wouldn't have fun doing that.  But from what you said, if the sports themselves aren't really doing it for you anymore (not getting a rush anymore I believe you said,) then maybe you need a... bigger change.

Maybe take your skis and your longboard or just your skis or just your longboard or neither, and go somewhere completely different.  Australia/NZ- no.  Europe - maybe.  Maybe South America:  presumably, like a small town Alberta boy, you know only one language.  Expand on that.  Good place to do it.  Maybe Central Asia.  Japan.  China.  Africa.  Surf Indonesia.

To me it sounds like you need something completely new to get you going again.  Getting out of the airport in a strange, new country, where you don't speak the language or identify with the culture is a whole new kind of rush. 

My two cents.
Oct 15 2009 10:34PM
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Campeador
Posts: 7516 - Karma: -1,227
go to Costa Rica and spend a few months a surf bum living out of a hostel. Much cheaper, and you'll have a better time than just driving around by yourself in a gas guzzling camper.
Oct 15 2009 10:45PM
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jakepwilliams
Posts: 895 - Karma: 51
watch the movie Into The Wild
Oct 15 2009 10:46PM
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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
Usually a mid life crisis occurs in your 40's and finding what you want to do with your life happens after you have given it a shot.  What do you want to accomplish?  You can't just throw in the towel and let the world fall down if you haven't tried.  That being said, no one is forcing you to run your life a certain way, so NS shouldn't be the place to search for approval to enact life altering decisions.
Oct 15 2009 10:46PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
yes sim, i am from Pa, good quesse. When i say i don't get a rush any more, its only because iv met the limits of this province, I need mountains, and all that comes with it. I speak french fluently (okay well only when im drunk or under the influence by other means, its nearly perfect. Iv always loved Quebec, iv never really been attracted to france tho for some reason. I would like to go to australia but tthe way i see it, for the price of airfaire and accomadations and everything else there, a van is a better, cheaper alternitive. I love driving, i drive all the time to blow off steam, listen to some music. I drive a van right now and love it, i have a bed in it, but i want a full out camper van. I want to be able to pull over and park, hop in the back, turn on some music and chill out, watch a  movie, cook some food, take a nap, whatever i want to do whenever i want to.
Oct 15 2009 10:53PM
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[Dawn
Posts: 1718 - Karma: 69
do it. and smoke some weed along the way
Oct 15 2009 11:00PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
i quit 3 weeks ago, it got to the point where it was too much and i was doing it to cope. It is still pretty fun to do, and im sure i would again without a doubt if i ended up working on a hill haha
Oct 15 2009 11:27PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 26
you want some really good advice?

fuck it. do what you want to do, whatever feels right.

i hope the best for you.
Oct 16 2009 12:20AM
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westSide.Steeze
Posts: 186 - Karma: 10
Do what you want to do dude, if you want to go on a road trip then fuck it and go on a road trip i bet youll have the time of your life.
Oct 16 2009 12:22AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Sounds like almost the same thing that I am going through man.  The basic advice I have gotten at least for my situation is to "do what you do" so to speak and find something that makes you feel accomplished and proud of yourself.  Good luck man.
Oct 16 2009 12:26AM
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MADSCRILLA
Posts: 89 - Karma: 10
Yea, I feel the same way on a smaller scale Come chill in BC homie
Oct 16 2009 3:04AM
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captaincrunch
Posts: 684 - Karma: 5
your honesty is giving me a chubby...
lol sike.
FUCKING DO IT. this is your life. youre doing it the right way. dont doubt yourself, youve made the right choice and this will help you. your dad and the people around you can say whatever they want, but in the end, its YOUR path, not theirs.

reading list:
into the wild
on the road

watch list:
into the wild

(ns im drawing a blank with these lists. running out of caffeine. help?)
Oct 16 2009 3:08AM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
"happiness isn't true unless it is shared."

Take a friend along.
Oct 16 2009 10:13AM
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Dosh
Posts: 1818 - Karma: 14
why is that always the case? it's the exact same way for me. i think i am just too self-conscious to attempt it when i am sober. these québecois are pretty difficult to understand though. i find it much easier to speak with people studying here that are from France.
Oct 16 2009 11:07AM
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snowbird4life
Posts: 2265 - Karma: 26

hmm you sound like the perfect addict. ever consider spending your hard earned cash on some dope and coke? might be the answer your looking for.

jk bro. to echo someone else, we as humans usually regret what we didn't do, MUCH more than the things we did do.

Oct 16 2009 3:05PM
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