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PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

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A virgin in need!!!!

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skiingisballer
Posts: 8 - Karma: 10
My girlfriend thinks its high time to fuck, and so do I, but I'm scared shitless. I'm really not looking to have a fucking kid and she won't go on birth control, so its up to me to wrap it up. I'm not packing a fucking canon or anything but I think she'll get the job done. I have now idea what the fuck to do. What kind to buy? What size to buy? When should i put it on? Should I have her put it on? How long I should last?


Help me out here. I'm terrified.
Oct 14 2009 4:24AM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
FUCK THIS DISCUSSION!  Move it to another thread.

I wish to hear how this kid made out last night.
Oct 15 2009 5:08PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,550
agreed. howd it go bud?
Oct 15 2009 5:10PM
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dunkaroos
Posts: 2574 - Karma: 633
i want to hear how this worked out - my threads
Oct 15 2009 5:14PM
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Frank_Spinatra
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 75
haha and i'll be 24 3/5s on november 8th
Oct 15 2009 5:15PM
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daytripper67
Posts: 681 - Karma: 11
thank you. it makes me feel a little better to see someone here has a brain.
casual youre a fucking joke. i hope you enjoy your fun on this site cause its clear you are a fucking loser in real life.
i just want to reiterate that daytripper is a beatles song, and acid is the farthest thing from wanting to be "edgy." jesus christ i hope youre 16 or younger
Oct 15 2009 5:20PM
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daytripper67
Posts: 681 - Karma: 11
wait what? seriously?
Oct 15 2009 5:24PM
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B.Pol
Posts: 1750 - Karma: 59
my threads for how it goes and I just read all these posts and lol'ed at almost everyone
Oct 15 2009 5:46PM
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doritos
Posts: 7368 - Karma: 53
Yes.
Oct 15 2009 6:11PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
daytripper obviously has a reading deficiency.  this will be the third time I have said this.

FUCK THIS DISCUSSION!  Move it to another thread.

I wish to hear how this kid made out last night.
Oct 15 2009 6:14PM
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doritos
Posts: 7368 - Karma: 53
eh. you enjoy listening to the beatles. therefore, youre opinion is invalid. flame away. get fucked.
Oct 15 2009 6:21PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
the question is, did he find the mythical clitoris or not?!
Oct 15 2009 6:21PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
I HAVE!!!!  And then I went out and bought a Jackrabbit.  She lllloooovvvveeerrrssss me.
Oct 15 2009 6:23PM
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Frank_Spinatra
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 75
ha he'll just be happy if he hits the right hole.  hopefully he hasn't gotten back to us yet because he's balls deep on round 3 still.
Oct 15 2009 6:24PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,550
hahahaha isnt that in canada?
i havent seen the movie for years, i need to go watch it again
Oct 15 2009 6:26PM
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doritos
Posts: 7368 - Karma: 53
Of course not, the clitoris is an urban myth. Are you fucking stupid?
Oct 15 2009 6:55PM
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the_moderaper
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 218
bump cuz this thread needs a reply on how it went lol. and extra comment: if you use it, go easy on the lube. my friend used waaay too much aand said it was like a alip and slide with bubble bath in it
Oct 15 2009 7:04PM
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A.0.spin
Posts: 472 - Karma: 186
bump because you guys are doing a terrible job
Oct 15 2009 8:50PM
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uosdwiSrjewoH
Posts: 4220 - Karma: 121
i love rowen
Oct 15 2009 8:53PM
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mski
Posts: 4791 - Karma: 3,803
you shouldnt if your posting a thread on NS dood
Oct 15 2009 8:59PM
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daringharry.
Posts: 476 - Karma: 9
you're
Oct 15 2009 9:30PM
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daytripper67
Posts: 681 - Karma: 11
this post is stupid
Oct 15 2009 9:30PM
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*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 511
lol this thread is golden +k
Oct 15 2009 10:22PM
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butteredpretzel
Posts: 1484 - Karma: 845
Get Some dude!!!!!
Oct 15 2009 10:33PM
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grown-ninja
Posts: 3031 - Karma: 175

sex isnt like a porno, i was very disapointed when i found this out my first time

you wont last more than 5 minutes

jack it before she comes over if you wana get 5 minutes

get some spermicidal lube condoms if youre nervious about having little yous running aound

be warned its a drug dude once you get it youre hooked,

Oct 15 2009 10:39PM
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skiingisballer
Posts: 8 - Karma: 10
Wow I didn't think this thread would be so popular... awkward

To all you sick fucks that get off on this shit:

        She came over last night, we watched the notebook (girls love this shit). After things went great, started slow and picked things up. I went down on her like someone suggested (which i have done before) this worked really well, then I asked her if she was ready? she nodded. Slipped on the glove (I went with spericidal trojans, better safe than sorry right (this is ironic, read on)?). I did work for a total of about two minutes, the gun when off prematurely, but there was nothing I could do. She just smiled. I was a little embarrassed but fuck it. I just cashed out my V-card, no returns. Everything went relatively well until now when I made my first and only mistake.
        So I tossed the condom in a waste basket in my room not really thinking anything of it. My girlfriend when home after a little cuddle session, and all seemed well. wrong. Today at school I got an all call page telling me to come to the office. (I shit you not) I find my mom in the office, she says shes pulling me out for the day. Aparently she found the used condom in my room waste basket. The worst part about it was my girlfriends mom was there too. After getting bitched out for about half an hour, they took us down to planned parent hood to get morning after pills. (My mom is a phyco). Probably the worst day of my life, talk about coming down off that mountain top. I am currently not allow to see my girlfriend, and I am grownded until my mom feels I can be responsible. And I quote, " You're too young to be having sex with that skank". Good times.
     Thanks for help.
Oct 15 2009 10:43PM
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jamodeo
Posts: 3040 - Karma: 663
you have got some serious balls for putting this on NS im sure youl be fine just do what the other 4 pages said k+
Oct 15 2009 10:49PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
bro, say it ain't so.  

on one hand i'm stoked for you cuz it happened, and on the other i'm so bummed because you have to deal with that shit.    Fuckkk man, it'll be fine but damn that's bittersweet.
Oct 15 2009 10:51PM
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grown-ninja
Posts: 3031 - Karma: 175
hell yea man, be optimistic at least your parents know your having sex so you dont have to keep it a secret, right? and you said you were 17 thats a good age man wait till you go to college shits crazy, tell here you re just preparing for the enivatiable
Oct 15 2009 10:51PM
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dunkaroos
Posts: 2574 - Karma: 633
wow that sucks but at least the first part was good!
Oct 15 2009 10:51PM
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*simba*
Posts: 9125 - Karma: 511
screw it...ur mom probably did it the same age...parents are bitches
Oct 15 2009 10:57PM
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JakeC
Posts: 2160 - Karma: 101
bummer......
Oct 15 2009 10:57PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
I am with Potamus here man.  They can't control anything if you guys want to hang out together at school.  Hint for next time?  When you are done with teh condom, tie a knot in it and flush it.  If you don't tie it you will plug up the plumbing, so tied the knot in it and then flush it.  Once again, the tieing of the knot is key.  I am sorry, if I had told you this you would not have had this bad experience.  You can subtract karma from me if you want.
Oct 15 2009 10:58PM
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Celone
Posts: 1998 - Karma: 114
i cant believe not one person invited him into the ladies man cult... cmon...
Oct 15 2009 11:14PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,550
man i feel really bad for you, glad everything went well until that though....make mischievous love against your parents will?


im really sorry you got in trouble, but that did make me lol a little in how freaking i guess the only word i can think of is ironic that is. thats not really the right word but tell your mom you just jerked it into a condom
Oct 15 2009 11:29PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,550
he deserves this
Oct 15 2009 11:30PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
on your parents bed.





on the bright side you have an un-forgettable first time, and like i said, next time someone asks a similar question, you can tell them all about your first time.

another first you never forget is first time a parent walks in on you, i hope for your sake its not your mom
Oct 15 2009 11:40PM
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philthyphil
Posts: 53 - Karma: 10
damn shitty that you got caught by your mom. at least you got laid though. i was rooting for ya.
Oct 15 2009 11:46PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
but i bet like all of us you hoped something would go wrong? something was just bound to go wrong after such a warm welcoming with little to no hate.
Oct 15 2009 11:51PM
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Frank_Spinatra
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 75
Jesus.  That's really rough man, we were all hoping for the best for you.  Sounds like the experience went really well, hopefully your mom settles down quickly.  Just be honest and hopefully she'll learn to trust you.  Real sorry to hear that.
Oct 15 2009 11:57PM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,180
i still think everyone was rootin for him. it truly scars you if you have a bad experience losing your virginity, since you cant really get it back. that and everyone loves getting laid
Oct 15 2009 11:58PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
i think the actual experience was not bad for him, its just the unfortunate events that happened after. Without a doubt that wont stop him from doing it again, he is probably hooked already. Personally i think that if he didnt disclose to his girlfriend that he was a virgin, they didn't have a very close relationship, and were really not ready to have sex, not fully ready at least, because aftert all the emotional connection is just as important as the physical connection, especilly for first times, even for guys.
Oct 16 2009 12:15AM
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mattridesskis
Posts: 635 - Karma: 15
well i just read the whole thread and....
that sucks! im guessing youre either an only child or you only have younger siblings, because if you had an older sibling your parents should have been broken in on the virginity thing...

but yo plus vibes to you, and hopefully you get to see your girl again soon.
Oct 16 2009 12:15AM
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@skiinmitch
Posts: 2781 - Karma: 78
dude your getting laid. be excited
Oct 16 2009 12:20AM
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CypressGrove
Posts: 1116 - Karma: 12
DUDE!! Read your PMs!!!  I told you to flush that shit!!!!!! Parents are not to be trusted when it comes to shit like that!!!
Oct 16 2009 12:42AM
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1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,000
you always have to flush it man! rookie mistake, but whatever, you can only have better experiences from here on out!
Oct 16 2009 12:47AM
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TeenageWasteland
Posts: 1237 - Karma: 10
I would do it sober so you remember it. I was really drunk the first time I had sex and it ended up not being that great because I was too drunk to nut. And I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. Most people don't so don't trip. All the major points have been made in the thread, I just thought I would reiterate what I think are the most important things.
1) Tell her you are a virgin. She won't judge you. I promise.
2) Jack off right before you hang out with her. This is CLUTCH. Even twice that day if possible. I don't know how often you stroke your pony but at least once if not twice that day.
3) When you are making out with her, finger the upper part of her vagina @ about 10 oclock. It should feel kinda like a rubbery part that feels different than the rest of the vag. Lick her clit while you are doing this at the same time and you will be in prime position to fuck. If you don't know where the clit really is look it up. I didn't the first time I had sex.
4) Don't have expectations. Either good or bad, expectations are just going to set you up to be disappointed in some facet. Just be happy for the opportunity and go with the flow as much as possible. The more you focus on her and her experience the less you will think about yourself and therefore be less trippin.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions you don't want to ask in this thread. Props for posting this topic, I would have been too scared.
Oct 16 2009 12:58AM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21061 - Karma: 8,366
haha, i got lazy this summer when my ex GF was visiting and tossed the condom in the trash.  came home later in the day and my step-mom's dog had gotten into my trash and dragged the wrapper outside (thank god it wasn't the condom itself).  i walked out to the yard to see my step-mom picking it up trying to read the label without her glasses, "what's this? durrrrecks? Durex? Oooohhh" .....and then I just get a sly look from her.  Good thing I'm 20 so they didn't care much, it was just kinda awkwardly laughed off.  I'm pretty sure they heard us going at it anyways haha.
Oct 16 2009 2:46AM
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buchanan.
Posts: 1911 - Karma: 156
shouilda fluished
Oct 16 2009 3:17AM
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CypressGrove
Posts: 1116 - Karma: 12

when i was about 15-16ish, my gfs dog dragged one out of the trash and brought it to her fuckin father. that was not fun. he was also a cop and i thought i was seriously fucked. he didnt tell my rents about it or anything. but i was on eggshells for awhile. she was on bc right after that. about a year after that we did whatever the hell we wanted and her rents were always out of town or some shit. i think i was like 18ish when i told my mom i wasnt a virgin cause she wouldnt leave me alone about it. 

random related story- we went out to movies and dinner one night one the way back home like 1am we stopped at my highschool and parked in the back lot started goin at it, shes like half naked and some headlights pop up across the lot im like oh fuck cops. sure enough its a cop and he works with HER DAD. im 18 and shes 16 im thinkin im gettin arrested. he pulls me out of the car and gives me shit for awhile and finally im like dude be cool. you were young once. he let me go, i dont think he ever told her dad about it.

Oct 16 2009 3:36AM
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BackRoad
Posts: 299 - Karma: 46

dude I know exactly how you feel. My first time I ended up drivin 50 miles to see my girlfriend. The next day, my parents noticed the extra miles on my car. They took my phone and read my whole conversation about the night before.  It blows gettin caught. Still, congrats dude. Welcome to the "I lost my virginity befire I was 18 club".

Oct 16 2009 3:43AM
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