i think sometimes people's nemeses pay dumb bitches to break shit in their house
whenever i'm walking in a bad neighborhood and there's a sketchy black person on the sidewalk asking for money, i cross the street. to avoid making them feel bad or provoking some form of reaction, i always pretend like i need to go into the store on the other side of the street. turns out the store is sketchier than the 1 black guy and i most likely just put myself in much more danger by going into an armenian dry cleaner's with guys going in and out of a back room
am i the only one who has a very hard time not destroying the entire mini golf park with my club when i miss a shot?
ever notice how you're always the fastest one walking on the street? i blow by people and they barely have time to see me before i'm gone. but there's always that one super fit short woman in running shorts who can power walk the shit out of you so without knowing it you get into a massive speed walking race while trying to pass the bitch
what is the overall gain of pouring champagne on white women?
why does the creepy kid in class always sit next to me? i plan all day how i'm going to avoid him/her through strategic seating yet when i get in class they just appear...in the seat next to me....and breathe weird the rest of class
whenever i want to pee, the toilet seat is down from taking a shit, whenever i want to shit, the seat is up...i think there's a dwarf whose job it is to change the seat in order to give me a minor inconvenience every day
anyone else have a very hard time passing a midget without a)staring, b)laughing, or c) wanting to tickle them?
i find it ironic how hard goth kids try to fit in with the goth style...conformists
if heavy metal songs are autobiographical, the singers must lead quite fucked up lives
i'm convinced that jay z has the worst case of monotony in his voice than ever documented before
My terrible photos
"I've been blessed with many things in this life, an arm like a damn rocket, the cock of a Burmese python, and the mind of a fucking scientist" -KP!
RIP Shane, you will be missed