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March, 2024

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Worst Parent Lectures/talks

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willyg0808
Posts: 4231 - Karma: 1,364

Bad or awkward talks with your parents

Aug 25 2009 7:27PM
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killabees
Posts: 8558 - Karma: 494
mommy found a qp and 12 glass items in my room. hawkward
Aug 25 2009 7:29PM
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*Nickdel*
Posts: 2258 - Karma: 868
daddy found a 30 in my car
Aug 25 2009 7:34PM
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*Nickdel*
Posts: 2258 - Karma: 868
sorry for the dub post but he also found my glass
Aug 25 2009 7:35PM
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ThaLorax
Posts: 21061 - Karma: 8,366
step-mommy found a condom wrapper in the yard....  while i was out in the yard area with her


fuckin dogs getting into my trash
Aug 25 2009 7:39PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,398
sex talk, went something like this

dad-hey so we need to have a talk
me-i see where this is going....
dad-so what do you think about girls?
me-ya um...... bye *stand up and leave the room*

also when my dad was talking to me about weed when i was baked, that was just creepy
Aug 25 2009 7:41PM
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Frank_Spinatra
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 75
in highschool we used to throw our home-made plastic bottle/tin foil bongs back in the woods behind my house.  then my neighbor found about 8 of 'em and told my parents....shittay
Aug 25 2009 7:45PM
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Crack.
Posts: 6020 - Karma: 86
i've only had one awkward situation with my dad and it went like this. this is when I got caught with weed by the way.

Dad- you know marijuana is bad for you right?
Me- no.
Dad- well son, it is, i know a lot of people who have obtained cancer from marijuana.
Me- bullshit.
Dad- I know son, just act like i'm teaching you something because your mother is in the other room and she told me to handle you.
Me- ah I see.
Dad- so did you like being high?
Me- yea it's fun.
Dad- yea i know, trust me.

No joke word for word.
Aug 25 2009 7:45PM
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justinTpetricko
Posts: 287 - Karma: 1,043
ah my dad told me bout how him and my mom got caught smoking weed when they where 14 and they payed the cop off 200 bucks to not tell there parents
Aug 25 2009 7:55PM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
My parents drink and smoke cigs. My dad is the only one who smokes weed though. They don't have many lectures to give me really. My dad would always bring sex up when I was younger, so I never cared about it. Basically all I ever got spoken to about was to do well in school. I am boring.
Aug 26 2009 2:48AM
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1337
Posts: 31038 - Karma: 29,003
ahh, fifth grade, brings back memories...

the sex talk was so awkward then, i don't know what else could top it
Aug 26 2009 3:32AM
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ElbridgeGerry
Posts: 5902 - Karma: -27
My Dad asked me if I knew what my dick was used for, I told him. End of conversation.
Aug 26 2009 3:40AM
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purplejumpsuit
Posts: 2207 - Karma: 157
its more less the same for me, i hardly even get the school talks..
only almost awkward talk I had with my mom was when she found out iv had sex. wasn't even that bad tho.
Aug 26 2009 3:55AM
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Hogis
Posts: 551 - Karma: 393
Hmm.. This goes a little off but yeaaaah.
I got drunk as fuck on a party and ended up losing my virginity with the girl who hosted the party.
My parents didn't knew where I was and my phone was lost, they freaked out and started to call the cops and stuff. Calledd all my friends in the middle of the night and so on.
In the morning my dad found out where I was and rang the doorbell to the girl I found last night.
- Hi is my son here?
- Yeah he's sleeping upstairs.
My dad literally ran upstairs and found me naked in her bed. That and the talks about it was kinda awkward....
Aug 26 2009 7:51AM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
the convo that ensues when your mom catches you having sex.
or when your dog has a fetish for the garbage can and makes a mess everywhere while you're out at school or something, and your mom finds the used condom amongst the trash.
Aug 26 2009 8:58AM
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Austeeze
Posts: 807 - Karma: 18
when ur a young teen and they find a shitload of porn sites in the internet history and temporary internet files
Aug 26 2009 9:11AM
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8ONE657
Posts: 3045 - Karma: 209
a) the sex talk
b) the "i've done drugs, but you shouldn't...and if you do just smoke weed" talk
c) the "city living and dangerous people" talk
Aug 26 2009 9:23AM
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Hannah.
Posts: 4625 - Karma: 56
i never got a sex talk, i got the growing and changes one though, awkward.
Aug 26 2009 9:26AM
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8ONE657
Posts: 3045 - Karma: 209
i hope that talk was from your mother...
Aug 26 2009 9:46AM
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[BRI]noceros
Posts: 2319 - Karma: 40
word, so fucking awkward. i just didn't know how to get rid of it then, and they saw stuff i searched and whatnot the next morning. very awkward
Aug 26 2009 9:49AM
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wesley.
Posts: 6483 - Karma: 1,049
i definitally have the most random one. me and my dad were watching tv

Dad: wes, just use a condom

Me:sure whatever (not paying attention)

Dad:and dont tell your mother about me giving you this talk
Aug 26 2009 10:01AM
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BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
Whats worse is that my mom would be the one talking to me about it. "You cant continue this tom! (Starts to cry) Its so demeaning to woman. It treats them like objects and its absolutely terrible."

happened about 3-4 times. fml
Aug 26 2009 10:19AM
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RRhighrider
Posts: 2137 - Karma: 1,105
my dad heard me say menage a trois when i was about 10
da- do you now what a menage a trois is?
me- yes it is when a man has sex with two women
dad- do you want one someday
me- yes
then my dad walked away with a big smile.

Aug 26 2009 10:30AM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
That reminds me, I had a massive party one time, and my parents came home and found a ton of clothes, beers, and girls purses left behind from the night before(Best party I ever threw). I wake up and see them in the backyard and am like "Oh shit, I am so fucked." I go downstairs on the patio, my dad tells me to sit down because he needs to talk to me.

Dad: You know I never approved of things like this.
Me: Yeah, yeah...
Dad: I thought I raised you better, you should have known
Me: Nothing bad came of it thought.
Dad: That's not the point, the point is you drink shitty beers like bud light. Just ask me for money next time so you don't sully my house with piss beer.

And then he congragulated me for having a party without fucking anything up.
Aug 26 2009 10:32AM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
AWESOME ! :D
Aug 26 2009 10:32AM
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J-Evs
Posts: 6387 - Karma: 1,615
epic
Aug 26 2009 10:38AM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
Haha that's awesome.
Aug 26 2009 10:39AM
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mattytru
Posts: 2767 - Karma: 5,479
yeah thats fucking awesome
Aug 26 2009 10:40AM
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martin.
Posts: 2115 - Karma: 34
I have some similar ones. My parents are separated and I live with my mom in upstate NY. My dad lives in massacusetts but has a house near me to stay at when he comes and visits me. Long story short I use that house for my nefarious plans.

Last summer I was spending a lot of time there by myself and my mom got kind of bitchy about it. I told my dad, and this is how the convo went

me-Yea my moms kind of being dumb about me staying alone at your house.

dad-why?

me-I dont know, she probably thinks im having drunken orgies with a bunch of girls.

dad-.....well are you?

me-no! why would I do that

dad-Trust me, they are a LOT of fun.



and he always asks me why I don't have parties all the time when he's not home, and that he would be dissapointed if I didn't use the apartment to make passionate love to women in.
Aug 26 2009 10:41AM
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8ONE657
Posts: 3045 - Karma: 209
make passionate love?


ewwww...
Aug 26 2009 10:53AM
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gregorio
Posts: 2372 - Karma: 151
i got a "slippery slope" speech about dugs and alcohol from my mom and some her friends (all of them were drunk) and it started off "drinking is bad, so are drugs. bad things will happen if you do drugs" and then when it ended it was basically "i like beer. beer is fine just dont do drugs. beer is fun"
Aug 26 2009 11:09AM
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PAuL_Hellar
Posts: 1355 - Karma: 62
id say theres nothing worse when they say that they are "disapointed"
Aug 26 2009 11:12AM
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thebeesknees
Posts: 3660 - Karma: 160
epic win for armanzoid.
Aug 26 2009 11:13AM
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VT_FLO
Posts: 3806 - Karma: 147
speaking of parents, i want my fucking vaporizer back
Aug 26 2009 11:18AM
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Relish_man
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 551
my parents arent too bad with those talks but last week, my dad bought me a High Times mag. we were at our cottage which was 6h from our house and i had to spend the first 2h of the ride back home trying to convince my mom that it was nothing serious and that it was just a joke and explaining that i was that influencable enough to smoke weed although i had already smoked a few times. most uncomfortable 2h of my life. oh, and my dad drove me back from school one day and the night before, he found out that i had checked porn (i was 12) so he lectured me for the whole ride home about how women arent objects and such. those talks make me want to just jump out walk the way back.
Aug 26 2009 11:21AM
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JamesR
Posts: 3396 - Karma: -12
rough sex?
Aug 26 2009 11:23AM
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aaron.ebner
Posts: 2868 - Karma: 61

my dad would always avoid the talks at all costs, or only do it if my mom made him.

my mom thinks i'm smarter than her so she doesn't bother anymore.

but one time i had like 20 people over at our house after we moved out and all took acid and we painted a room purple, that was hard to come up with a good reason for.

Aug 26 2009 11:53AM
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VPP
Posts: 250 - Karma: 15
Exactly like me.
Aug 26 2009 11:59AM
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killabees
Posts: 8558 - Karma: 494
haha my dad and i dont really talk much but when he and i (and the rest of the people at the dinner we had) had the "sex talk"(8th grade....) it started of saying, you know santas not real right?
Aug 26 2009 12:01PM
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roor
Posts: 946 - Karma: -80
my mom just took my 225 dollar vaporizer... so i just bought a 500 dollar one
Aug 26 2009 12:02PM
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thenakedcellist
Posts: 2666 - Karma: 218
my paps took me good ol fishin and broke it down for me.....
Aug 26 2009 12:09PM
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brandon_
Posts: 807 - Karma: 15
NO kidding ?

How did you get out of that out of that one ?
Aug 26 2009 12:16PM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
haha i have so many stories like this from back in the day it is great, probably the worst one i had to deal with was when my parents found pills just laying around on my dresser, along with little baggies of white powder because i had sold some to a kid then just forgot to put it away all high like a fuckin idiot and left all that shit on my dresser, along with some tabs that luckily my mom didnt find, having to explain to my parents that they were e-pills was extremely awkward, then also trying to explain how the baggies with white powder were actualy not cocaine or heroin and just powder MDMA was also a bit weird, then they just bitched me out for selling drugs, which was always awkward because i would always deny it even though it was obvious i was
Aug 26 2009 12:59PM
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r0dubs
Posts: 1764 - Karma: 19
dad-hey ryan, do you think your friends are doing drugs?
me-no dad, seriously, they're better than that
*phone buzzes* txt from friend- DUDE so high right now, get to my house
dad-who was that
me-one of my friends
dad-saying
me-oh...he got a good score on his test
dad-it's summer
me- yah, ive gotta go
*sketchily leaves the room*
Aug 26 2009 1:14PM
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fupaface
Posts: 810 - Karma: 449
My parents found all of fmy glass plus an O, and then just left it on the ground in my room and expected me to talk to them, but i didnt so things were extremely akward for like 4 days after until 1 of then brought it up.
Aug 26 2009 1:17PM
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marsland
Posts: 3150 - Karma: 421
BEST DINNER EVER!
Aug 26 2009 3:16PM
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solitaryman
Posts: 3578 - Karma: 123
When my parents found 5 grams in my room, they explained they were going to throw it out because it was "growing mold" (good weed caked with thc and hairs) and I had to explain to them that it was tha chronic shit and that i wanted it back.  They ended up flushing it. :*(
Aug 26 2009 3:34PM
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Swaggermager
Posts: 2576 - Karma: 951
fucking epic..

Ok this is mine.

So when I was 12 I didnt know what cunt meant I just heard my cousin say it to a girl on the phone cause that was their little inside joke and he would say it in an english accent so I was like i wanna do this!! So i used my friends phone and called the girl he liked and I left a message in an english accent saying fuck9ing cunt pick up the phone(cause was dumb as fuck). So she was in europe so he mom got all of her messages. Ok so she calls my friends mom and she calls my mom. Im in deep shit and I ad to go to someone's house I've never met and then meet them and say sorry for like an hour, then said sorry to my friend and then i got grounded for like 2 weeks.


Yeah
Aug 26 2009 3:40PM
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Phantom
Posts: 908 - Karma: 180
probably the time in 4th grade when my mom told me how much volume is normal when cumming.

fuck dude, that was so weird.
Aug 26 2009 3:44PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60

lol on monday we went to put-in-bay on lake erie, stumbled upon a small beach, me/sister(12)/mom/dad, there were to ass ugly lesbos making out

dad- hey lets go check out that tree, me- ya come on Nicole (sis), mom- why?

later i started to crack jokes about how sweeeet the beach was, and how i really really enjoyed les-beach

dad and mom telling me to not smoke funny things over the phone when i went to a local park, to smoke funny things lol

Aug 26 2009 3:45PM
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Wilsooon
Posts: 321 - Karma: 62
watching a movie with my dad that had a sex scene, and my dad said this:

"Don't tell your mother I'm telling you this, but have as much sex as possible while you're young."
Aug 26 2009 3:46PM
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