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STD testing: anyone gone through it?

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hey_dude_its_me
Posts: 1403 - Karma: 32
No, I didn't get my dick burned my some gutter slut, it would make the thread a lot funnier but its just not the case.

The girl I'm seeing is starting birth control. She wants to make sure we're both clean before we ditch the condoms. I think its kinda excessive but it can't hurt anything, and when its done I get to hit it raw which is always nice.

So has anyone gone through this? Whats it like? What do they do? How much is this bullshit going to cost me?

also, I've heard rumors about Q-tips in the urethra, if this is true idk if I'll even go through with it...
Aug 19 2009 10:06AM
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bout_it
Posts: 1233 - Karma: 17
never gone through it, but I have friends that have been tested and they don't say that it was an excruciating experience.
Aug 19 2009 10:13AM
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BestDamnSkier
Posts: 275 - Karma: 14
Click for larger image (I know they put it in his one eyed monster but that image came up when I searched for cotton swab and it was too funny to pass up)
Aug 19 2009 10:16AM
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Billek
Posts: 5665 - Karma: 98
Don't be a bitch. There isn't a test out there that is too bad.

(This is coming from someone who has had spinal taps and cameras down my throat, among others)

Aug 19 2009 10:17AM
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quixotic
Posts: 6937 - Karma: 2,978
Read up. http://std.about.com/od/overviewofstds/a/testessential.htm
Aug 19 2009 11:10AM
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hey_dude_its_me
Posts: 1403 - Karma: 32
I clicked on the chlamydia test, fuck that
Aug 19 2009 11:13AM
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quixotic
Posts: 6937 - Karma: 2,978
lol. Dude just do it, it can't be THAT bad... plus you'll get to raw dog it.
Aug 19 2009 11:20AM
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thebeesknees
Posts: 3660 - Karma: 160

ive had cameras up my nose.  that wasnt comfortable. 

ya man, just get the tests done, theyre not bad at all.

Aug 19 2009 11:34AM
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h_bar
Posts: 1611 - Karma: 506
i've been tested some times, just by urin though. glad.
Aug 19 2009 12:00PM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
Dude your Gf is gonna put up with the side effects of the pill, and you can't handle a swab down moby dicks blowhole and a little bleeding.(they'll probably take blood too.)

Man up and do the safe responsible thing. Hell I get one every week....................and I've been with the same girl for 8 years. It kinda gets fun after a while but don't let em hear you moan in pleasure or you'll have to change doctors.
Aug 19 2009 1:11PM
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hey_dude_its_me
Posts: 1403 - Karma: 32
how much does it cost
Aug 19 2009 1:12PM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
no really most of that was jokes. But I have had them and I'm pretty sure it's free if you go to a planned parenthood or something of that sort.
Aug 19 2009 1:14PM
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Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
If you go to the free clinic apparently they shove something up your pee hole or something, but if you have health insurance and can go to a normal doctor all they do is take blood and a urine sample and the lab does everything.  I got one a while ago and they didn't shove anything up anywhere.
Aug 19 2009 5:26PM
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montageskier
Posts: 4725 - Karma: 126
Dude I get tested twice a year on my birthday and 6 months later. All the tests are blood work, and piss tests. I have never had an STD, only one scare but it was nothing (just dont have sex in a pool with a lot of chlorine in it)
Aug 19 2009 5:29PM
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twin-tip-hero
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 277

just think of the reward when you pass all the tests.

Aug 19 2009 5:42PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
It's really not that bad. They only shove something the size of the eiffel tower up your dick. Good times, I swear.
Aug 19 2009 5:43PM
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charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 372
on the chlamydia thing...

Fun Fact: Urine tests are effective in men because the site of infection is the urethra. Therefore, urine passes through the infection site where it can collect bacteria. In women, the site of infection is the cervix, which is nowhere near the urinary tract

i wouldn't worry about it
Aug 19 2009 5:45PM
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Crack.
Posts: 6020 - Karma: 86
looking at that chlymidia picture made my dick hurt
Aug 19 2009 5:56PM
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mackcamp
Posts: 1207 - Karma: 263
You already have full blown AIDS.
Aug 19 2009 6:13PM
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easy_cam_steezy
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 126
Click for larger image
Aug 19 2009 6:29PM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
bump

I went to get a free one at a different place today and they definitely stuck a swab in my dick. I thought it would be a blood and piss test. When she told me she was gonna swab my dick I got up and said no thanks Im gonna go now (I already took the blood test) but SHE was able to talk me into staying, saying it wasn't that bad etc. This was about a 3 minute debate bc I was literally panicking and sweating, she calmed me down tho and I finally gave in. So I pulled down my pants, my dick was trying his hardest to do the turtle head thing in avoidance of the swab. Then she pulled my dick pretty tight and put the thing in and it was ok at first until she went deeper it was the weirdest, most painful, nauseating split second I have ever felt ahaha I squirm every time I think about it
Apr 30 2010 2:12PM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
congrats for manning up. way to go. enjoy going balls deep bare now! yay! see wasn't that worth it?
Apr 30 2010 2:21PM
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General_Ripper
Posts: 3327 - Karma: 189
dude that blows i just got a pee and blood tests haha
Apr 30 2010 2:24PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 54
pussy. They're not bad, and it's a hundred times better than pissing the clap for weeks.
Apr 30 2010 2:25PM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
haha thanks but this was actually my 3rd since the thread was created. I basically went today bc I had nothing else to do
Apr 30 2010 2:28PM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
uhhhhh no offense but me and you obviously have different opinions of what should and should not be going into our bodies
Apr 30 2010 2:30PM
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Mr.Feeny
Posts: 990 - Karma: 11
you get to hit it raw now though dude, it'll be worth it hahaha
Apr 30 2010 2:37PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 54
Everyone should be tested. It's common courtesy. You know that Chlamydia is killing the straight community right now? Cause bitches be gettin' fierce and never testing themselves. Really. It's somewhere around 70% of reported STD's (in the millions) that were Chlamydia, and getting your dick swabbed (which I never had done, they don't usually have to) is the least of your worries.

No need to bring my love of dick into it. It's just maintenance.
Apr 30 2010 2:37PM
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Liam.
Posts: 5172 - Karma: 21
i feel you on that.
i had kidney and blatter issues. i cant imagine a STD test is anything like getting a catheter stuck up my dick numerous times .  dont be a pussy
Apr 30 2010 2:40PM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
none of this is relevant to anything I've said...

Apr 30 2010 2:41PM
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DAMICO
Posts: 2645 - Karma: 12
the swab in the dick hole is really painful lol... but it'll be worth it
Apr 30 2010 2:46PM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
wait - youve had 3 STD tests in less than 2 weeks because you were bored? wow - that seems a little excessive.
Apr 30 2010 2:48PM
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nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
Free on the NHS





boom
Apr 30 2010 2:49PM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
I made this thread last august I think
Apr 30 2010 2:50PM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
^whoops....drr...i read april not august. my bad - again - way to go pal.
Apr 30 2010 3:22PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24703 - Karma: 29,679
God... I hated having the swab up my dick shit. fuck that crap man...



Now whenever I've been tested they just have me pee in a cup - that and I get a blood test ever 3-4 months to make sure everything's working out otherwise and i dont have any potential cancers coming up.

So yay cleanliness.
Apr 30 2010 3:32PM
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bfnradford
Posts: 921 - Karma: 100
.
Apr 30 2010 4:56PM
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LARd.
Posts: 117 - Karma: 281
that would suck to have a std or sti
Apr 30 2010 5:08PM
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Gary_Busey
Posts: 281 - Karma: 13
how has nobody acknowledged this post.  I lol'd so hard.
Apr 30 2010 7:32PM
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EastCoast315
Posts: 3136 - Karma: 137
Feel free to refrain from calling yourself a man if you "can't handle it"
Apr 30 2010 8:32PM
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danbrown
Posts: 11932 - Karma: 21,775
i've been swabbed, blood and urine tested. the swab isnt fun, but its better than having shit drip out of my dick
Apr 30 2010 9:27PM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
god damn it I fucking hate this, the more research I do the more paranoid I get. 3 weeks ago my balls were kinda sore so I convinced myself I had gonorrhea, got tested which of course comes back negative. so yea its relieving but it doesn't undo all the stress and worrying you've already been thru

Then this morning out of nowhere my paranoia hits me again and reread the results of my latest test when it dawns on me that they didn't test for herpes. So I spend all morning researching fucking herpes which I have no symptoms of but the info is fucking scary, like 20% of people have HERPES the shit that never does away and basically ruins your dating life forever. And that you can get genital herpes if the girl blowing you just has a regular a cold sore. And what makes me really stress is that i get cold sores sometimes so I could have passed that shit unknowingly and would never know if I ruined someone else life.

So anyway I go back to the clinic and they say since I have no symptoms I dont need a test I make them give me one anyway which cost $42 and will cause me some stress/worrying while I wait for the result its like some weird form of self punishment, maybe guilt or something idk but whateever it is it fucking sucks and makes me wish I could turn my brain off

The worst part is the time frames involved, not only do you have to wait a few days for your results, but for some diseases you have to wait weeks before the disease will even show up in the test to begin with

/hypochondriac attention whore drama queen rant
Jul 16 2010 7:06PM
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Slinger1x1
Posts: 8853 - Karma: 65
it would be really funny if you came back positive.
you would then have an STD
and NO sex
Jul 16 2010 7:25PM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
oh yea just passed again, got a pretty good streak going
Jul 16 2014 10:42AM
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bfulmer
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 1,975
I get urine tested every couple of months just to make sure I'm good. It's totally painless and worth the peace of mind if you've been sleeping with people who you don't necessarily trust.
Jul 16 2014 10:48AM
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90053
Posts: 2565 - Karma: 3,728
hey-dude-its-meoh yea just passed again, got a pretty good streak going


jesus how many girls do you sleep with without a condom haha
Jul 16 2014 10:50AM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
tusken_assraiderjesus how many girls do you sleep with without a condom haha


none now but you can get stuff orally and condoms are near flawless for preventing hiv but only really really good at preventing the others
Jul 16 2014 10:53AM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
hey-dude-its-menone now but you can get stuff orally and condoms are near flawless for preventing hiv but only really really good at preventing the others


basically as long as the condom doesnt break you have 0 risk for hiv and theyre designed so that if they break even a little the whole thing will tear so you realize it
Jul 16 2014 10:54AM
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617freeskier
Posts: 544 - Karma: 71
Is it weird if I havent used a condom since highschool and I've never been tested... I am 24 years old... YOLO?
Jul 16 2014 5:19PM
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Lé.Skiing
Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,122
STD test? what kind of STDs are we testing?
Jul 16 2014 6:07PM
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90053
Posts: 2565 - Karma: 3,728
617freeskierIs it weird if I havent used a condom since highschool and I've never been tested... I am 24 years old... YOLO?


kinda there's a pretty massive chance you've got chlamydia depending on how many sexual partners you've had including oral sex
Jul 16 2014 8:21PM
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