Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Passing Drug Tests

profile picture
JFerg
Posts: 2440 - Karma: 62
Hey guys, I need some help. I have a job lined up (tree planting if you must know) but they unfortunately screen for drugs. I am a fairly chronic pot user. I smoke about once a day, sometimes more, sometimes less. I have about 7 days before the test, and need to know how to pass it. It is a urine test. The best advice I have been given so far is this product:

http://www.detoks.com/permanent-cleansers-c589/2706.html

Anyone else have any success stories? Info? Any help is appreciated.





Aug 4 2009 3:28PM
0 0
profile picture
Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
I know a kid who has passed 4 tests by squeezing a large amount of Tide To-Go into his urine sample. 

Or, get somebody else to give you a sample and take it into the bathroom with you when you go to give yours, and fill 'er up with the friend's pee.

Or, drink a shit ton of water before taking the test.  But this is risky because it's unhealthy and you could get your timing wrong (my friend failed his drug test and then peed straight water like 3 minutes later).
Aug 4 2009 3:30PM
0 0
profile picture
Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
See I know all that, and I don't even smoke or do drugs.
Aug 4 2009 3:30PM
0 0
profile picture
hey_dude_its_me
Posts: 1403 - Karma: 32
cranberry extract
green tea extract
niacin
B12

work out a lot, until a couple days before the test, then start eating a shit load of junk food (anything with a lot of fat)

day of test: wake up early and piss a couple of times before you have to take the test. At the test, start pissing in the toilet for a few seconds, then fill the test cup with the middle of your stream.
Aug 4 2009 3:33PM
0 0
profile picture
JFerg
Posts: 2440 - Karma: 62
While I appreciate the effort, the Tide to Go is bullshit. These aren't monkies testing urine. That doesn't mask anything. The swapping of piss is usually a good bet, but I have to find a way to keep it warm. They immediately check temperature after you piss. And the drinking water method is poor because THC is fat soluble, water does nothing but dilutes your urine. And if your urine is too diluted, they request a retest.
Aug 4 2009 3:33PM
0 0
profile picture
Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
Well all my friends were being tested by their parents, so it was more low-tech.  My bad
Aug 4 2009 3:35PM
0 0
profile picture
DYFI
Posts: 3836 - Karma: 30
Drugs are bad, mmk.
Aug 4 2009 3:36PM
0 0
profile picture
ace_
Posts: 3189 - Karma: 39
well shit sounds like you know your stuff already
Aug 4 2009 3:36PM
0 0
profile picture
lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
synthetic urine
/thread.
Aug 4 2009 3:36PM
0 0
profile picture
JFerg
Posts: 2440 - Karma: 62
How confident are you of this regiment? This job is pretty important right now.
Aug 4 2009 3:37PM
0 0
profile picture
ace_
Posts: 3189 - Karma: 39
you could always test it by buying a home drug test kit
Aug 4 2009 3:41PM
0 0
profile picture
NickSki.
Posts: 2009 - Karma: 61
I heard the searchbar works pretty well
Aug 4 2009 3:42PM
0 0
profile picture
yourthemannowdog
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 313
my friend tells me that this thing called google works really well, its this weird new hindu type.
Aug 4 2009 3:53PM
0 0
profile picture
pmw
Posts: 5760 - Karma: 829

obviosuly due to your n00bish skillz you have not mastered the already old, searchbar jokes. they are old, and not original at all anymore.

that being said, this was a question that he must know for an important job interview, so he would like a customized answer pertaining to his situation, and not an already generated answer sotre din some old thread. go away

Aug 4 2009 3:54PM
0 0
profile picture
yourthemannowdog
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 313
or you could use actuall information from uranaliyst (SP?) professionals by using google to find them. also he is like one of 2,000 people with that icon and probably has fischer racing skis
Aug 4 2009 3:58PM
0 0
profile picture
pmw
Posts: 5760 - Karma: 829
oh shitz you lowered my karmaz?
Aug 4 2009 4:06PM
0 0
profile picture
OrangGrant
Posts: 83 - Karma: 13
have a clean friend piss in a condom for you. then tie it up and tape it to your leg with a handwarmer and allow ample time for the handwarmer to heat the piss. when you go to take the test just poor the clean urine from the condom.
Aug 4 2009 4:37PM
0 0
profile picture
_TK_
Posts: 467 - Karma: 128
       
Aug 4 2009 4:38PM
0 0
profile picture
hey_dude_its_me
Posts: 1403 - Karma: 32
very. its from an EXTREMELY popular and 'stickied' thread on grasscity.org or something (#1 marijuana forums)

google it for more details about the pills.... but I know for a fact that pissing bfore the test, and using the middle of the stream are critical
Aug 4 2009 4:54PM
0 0
profile picture
grown-ninja
Posts: 3031 - Karma: 175
dude just go to a head shop and get a system clenser there like 40 bucks, i think they even have them at like rite ade and cvs, my girlfriends sisters boysfirnd ) it sounds a lot more complicated then it really is) blazes all the time and found out that day he was getting tested, took the clenser and passed, also dont try and sneek urin in becasue if teh tempiture is off they will reject it, i just took one about 2 months ago,
Aug 4 2009 4:58PM
0 0
profile picture
DYFI
Posts: 3836 - Karma: 30
Just jerk off in the cup and tell them you didnt understand the test.
Aug 4 2009 4:59PM
0 0
profile picture
gorillasteeze720
Posts: 190 - Karma: 9
same shit happened to me earlier this summer i sauna'd a shit load lost 6 pounds and drank my ass off, not to be the bearer of bad new but i still failed and i like you smoke conisistently everyday for the year up to that point. pee in the condom could be bad because the cups have temperature strips on the side of them so it starts to read immediatly. i would recommend what that dude above said was from grasscity and then take a home drug test the day before so you know or not...the worst part is waiting to find out so its better to know ahead of time so that you can use those 4 days of waiting trying to find a new job if you fail.. good luck tho
Aug 4 2009 5:23PM
0 0
profile picture
*steeze_is_good
Posts: 2885 - Karma: 718
HAHAHAH Im currently loling hard
Aug 4 2009 5:25PM
0 0
profile picture
doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 26
dont listen to him. cranberries are a diuretic and only remove water form your system, essentially dehydrating you. however, b12 is a good supplement to take as it will turn your piss yellow, allowing you to dilute it.

also load up on creatine a day or two before. creatine content is tested to determine if it has been diluted or not.

also, like he said, workout a lot. do a lot of cardio and fat burning workouts, then load up on fat so you dont burn much during the test. unless you have a high fat content youll pass within a week.
Aug 4 2009 5:30PM
0 0
profile picture
hey_dude_its_me
Posts: 1403 - Karma: 32
ok whatever, I didn't make the regimen, but theres 82 pages of people who smoke eneough weed that they wanted to sign up for a website specifically to talk about smoking weed who seem to generally agee that cranberry helps

heres the link
http://forum.grasscity.com/apprentice-tokers/36557-offical-how-pass-dt.html
Aug 4 2009 5:44PM
0 0
profile picture
Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,398
this
Aug 4 2009 5:46PM
0 0
profile picture
grapesoda
Posts: 999 - Karma: 31
haha DO NOT load up on creatine the day or two before. dilluted urnine has MORE creatine than normal not less. he will just be fucking himself over. and you are also wrong about cranberry juice. have you ever been drug tested? sounds like you havent because you are offering poor advice.

with that being said everyones body responds differently to cleansing techniques. i have been drug tested numerous times (by the state not some bullshit home drug test by my parents) and i passed every single one of them and i had less time to work with than you do (4 days not 7).  drinking a lot of water does help, even though thc is fat soluable the test is from your urine, therefore watering it down helps dilute the thc. cranberry juice also helps to flush out your system.  the most important aspect of my cleansing technique was niacin. i took 1000mg one day and then 750 the next day. it will make you very red and itchy for a little but but just keep drinking fluids and this will go away. anyways fluids combinded with niacin and some hard work outs (i did hill sprints to make me sweat) allowed me to pass the test 4 days after blazing. and i had a pretty good tolerance as i smoke every day. i am also pretty skinny and dont have much body fat. hopefully you are too or you will have a lot more stored thc in your system.

but as i said earlier everyones body reacts differently. my buddy who i got in trouble with was also tested and we blaze pretty much the same amount. he did not pass the test and he used the same technique as i did.  he actaully wasnt even close to the cutoff level while my test showed i had 0 thc in my system.  id say try it anyway because it cant hurt you. a bunch of people i know swear by the 40 dollar gnc cleansing drinks, i have never used one but apparently they work quite well. good luck.
Aug 4 2009 6:02PM
0 0
profile picture
DR.SHRED
Posts: 2134 - Karma: 503
get some one elses piss
Aug 4 2009 6:03PM
0 0
profile picture
Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
two things.

I'm never one to say search bar except for this topic. there have been faaaaaaarrrrrrr tooo many threads on this topic.

and the other thing is that if this job was as important as you say maybe you should just not smoke for it?
Aug 4 2009 6:07PM
0 0
profile picture
70794Willow
Posts: 334 - Karma: 38
win
Aug 4 2009 6:25PM
0 0
profile picture
Moonlight
Posts: 905 - Karma: 18
I laughed for a good 30 seconds
Aug 4 2009 6:38PM
0 0
profile picture
ORski21
Posts: 423 - Karma: 12
i had an idea. if you're in a bathroom to give your sample and you had a friend's cold piss you could fill the cup with really hot water so the temp would be more realistic. Dont know if that would actually work though if they take all the temps.

My parents got home drug tests after my friends got in trouble. They've never tried it, but if they did my plan was to drink a ton of water and eat fatty foods, also, I heard vitamin b-12 i think makes your pee yellow or something, so if you had that then had really watery piss that might work
Aug 4 2009 7:04PM
0 0
profile picture
doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 26
my b on the creatine. never actually tried it, but have heard it helps. but no, cranberry juice really does nothing. all it does is shrink cells by pulling the water out of them.

but niacin works really well.

i did this, last week actually, and passed with 5 days heads up time.
Aug 4 2009 7:06PM
0 0
profile picture
Delphi
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 36
god you are an idiot.
Aug 4 2009 7:06PM
0 0
profile picture
Shewlur...
Posts: 5046 - Karma: 940
this.

Aug 4 2009 7:26PM
0 0
profile picture
pmw
Posts: 5760 - Karma: 829

whether you meant to or not, that could have been the most clever, hilarious form pee in the butt i have heard.

Aug 4 2009 8:06PM
0 0
profile picture
mattytru
Posts: 2767 - Karma: 5,479
shit haha your right
Aug 4 2009 8:42PM
0 0
profile picture
CoachG
Posts: 2546 - Karma: 448
as did i lmao
Aug 4 2009 8:46PM
0 0
profile picture
KFRADtheLaxBro
Posts: 632 - Karma: 10
why are they testing you if all you do is plant trees?
Aug 4 2009 8:47PM
0 0
profile picture
gstaff
Posts: 1017 - Karma: 12
bahahahahaha
Aug 4 2009 8:48PM
0 0
profile picture
skiblandford
Posts: 1503 - Karma: 2
the way to pass a drug test is to searchbar something i just recently discovered and love it
Aug 4 2009 8:49PM
0 0
profile picture
miroz
Posts: 10333 - Karma: 3,947

Hahaha shut up Timmy lawl

Aug 4 2009 8:57PM
0 0
profile picture
Hack.The.Pow.
Posts: 1294 - Karma: 25
I love how ns is s such a bunch of stoners that there is a how do I pass a drug test? thread literally every week
Aug 4 2009 9:07PM
0 0
profile picture
Moostafa
Posts: 232 - Karma: 15
hahahah lolbeanz
Aug 4 2009 9:18PM
0 0
profile picture
Moisty_Goat
Posts: 601 - Karma: 31
Read his post....
He said he has to take the test in 7 days, so its not a question of whether or not he is going to smoke while hes on this job, but what to do in that short period of time so he can try and pass his test. Which can be hard if your a chronic (get it) user
I've been in a very similair situation and its very stressful and shitty, so telling him not to smoke isn't helping anything. The concern is about all the thc built up in his system already from past use.
And as to the OP, I don't know of any surefire techniques but alot of people say those cleansing kits actaully work, and as far as for me, I luckily didn't recieve a test on my first test date and i have another appointment 3 weeks from now, so cross your fingers
Aug 4 2009 11:04PM
0 0
profile picture
schmooey.
Posts: 471 - Karma: 10
Live in a small, hippie/ski town? if you do, which half of us i'm sure do or live close to one, youi probably have kind of like a hippie grocery store. It'll sell this shit in a red bottle called "Master Cleanse." Swear that i have passed 4 drug tests for work... pretty gay boss. just keep it in my locker and chug it till its my turn.
Aug 4 2009 11:06PM
0 0
profile picture
Takeo.
Posts: 104 - Karma: 10

I laughed

But you can use this thing i saw on manswers one time

http://www.ureasample.com/buy-drug-test-solutions/store/whizzinator.htm

sorry if its a repost
Aug 4 2009 11:50PM
0 0
profile picture
slaydave
Posts: 1697 - Karma: 62
http://www.quickfixurine.com/

it works.  get some.  no worries.

Aug 4 2009 11:55PM
0 0
profile picture
lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
exactly what i used and it works great
Aug 5 2009 12:00AM
0 0
profile picture
DDrem.
Posts: 3552 - Karma: 24
have the piss of someone else in a condom, then use a hot pack wrapped around it to keep it warm, followed by keeping in a bundled up sock. use a pin or thumbtack and poke a hole in the condom and fill the cup. he passed and they checked temp right as he walked out and it was on the dot they say
Aug 5 2009 1:45AM
0 0
profile picture
yourthemannowdog
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 313
no i didn't, i don't touch peoples karma unless they are a troll like Runescape-jibba or did something really nice or showed me something that was really funny. don't worry about your karma
Aug 5 2009 5:54AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)