CHUCK NORRIS JOKES

are fucking gay

kill yourself

twice

Im not trying to hate but you probably could have just went to google and typed in chuck norris jokes and gotten every single one ever made

http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/

now its annoying, there was a thread like this maybee two days ago! if you dont want to use the searchbar then deal with the karma rapage!

Wow. these have been very disappointing comments.

SEARCHBAR... GOD

wow sorry but if you think there has been these threads before just seachbar it

HERE YOU GO END THREAD

chuck norris wears ribbed condoms inside out so he gets the pleasure..

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.


There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.


In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.


The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.


Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.


The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.


Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.


Chuck Norris once commented, "There are few problems in this world that cannot be solved by a swift roundhouse kick to the face. In fact, there are none."


Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.


Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.


Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.


The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.


When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.


Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.


When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways.



Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.


Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"


Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord


Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.


Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times


China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.


Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about


If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.


Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.


When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.


Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.


Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty


Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.


Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.


Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.


Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.


If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down


Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris


Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

delete this thread for the love of god

I think that you might be overreacting just a bit... We're all gonna die if u dont delete this! yaaaano...

when you dumb motherfuckers tell me to use the searchbar, you clearly have no life because you obviously took the time to searchbar it yourself just to be a little bitch, and karma means nothing to me.  so when you say "be prepared for the karma rapage" I don't give a shit.  If you have nothing good to say, don't open your fucking mouth you fat cocksuckers.

you dont need to open ur mouth to comment...u just move your fingers...ya...just saying...

i think you should stop posting.

EVERY NIGHT, WHEN THE BOOGEYMAN GOES TO BED, HE CHECKS HIS CLOSET FOR CHUCK NORRIS.

what

Chuck Norris doesnt need the search bar he is the Searchbar

haha i made this thread already but i dont really care. searchbar ia for homos anyways. why do people freak out about repeat threads. just dont read them. + karma for you actually

^ yah i hate when kids tool on kids cas they didnt "searchbar"

ill just use it every now and then to make sure i dont get tooled on

Really beating the dead horse, but I heard a few good ones. Didn't feel I should make my own thread.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was in all of the Star Wars Movies... As the force.

Chuck Norris can cut a hot knife with butter.

When you say no one's perfect, Chuck Norris takes this an insult.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, but death was too afraid to go near him.

War is never the Answer. Chuck Norris is.

Chuck Norris Roundhoused the Earth once. It still hasn't stopped spinning.

Still funny.

these were funny in like 4th grade........ go on reddit and give yourself a real laugh