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PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

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Textsfromlastnight.com

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Captain-T
Posts: 855 - Karma: 47

It ain't got shit on FML.com. Basically described in the URL. Texts people have recieved and they are posted. Absolutely hilarious. And if its a repost, my B.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

P.S.- Search barred and couldn't find anything.

May 25 2009 9:01PM
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wh@t
Posts: 6204 - Karma: 52
"lol youre probably pregnant"
May 25 2009 9:05PM
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jayo.
Posts: 5015 - Karma: 34
"i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way" haha
May 25 2009 9:10PM
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jibbinc
Posts: 804 - Karma: 33
(443): My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT

shits so cash.
May 25 2009 9:27PM
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CBROOKS
Posts: 4979 - Karma: 10,708
(734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
(1-734): what was she crying about?
(734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.


aahahhahahaaha
May 25 2009 9:30PM
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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
(314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
May 25 2009 9:44PM
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908
Posts: 716 - Karma: 11
757): he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
muahaha
May 25 2009 10:05PM
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dgcarbs
Posts: 438 - Karma: 11
(210): so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
(512): oh shit that had to have been awkward
(210): i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
May 25 2009 10:09PM
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Hannah.
Posts: 4625 - Karma: 56
(226): forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

May 25 2009 10:10PM
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RunDMc
Posts: 1298 - Karma: 60
(907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
May 25 2009 10:16PM
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Morgen.
Posts: 1199 - Karma: 62
(914): Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
May 25 2009 10:17PM
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Hansel.
Posts: 4583 - Karma: 112
(734): I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
May 25 2009 10:21PM
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BigRodRiley
Posts: 1265 - Karma: 36
ohhh slam
May 25 2009 10:28PM
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HeartBeatFaster
Posts: 723 - Karma: 26
(971): I have two black x marks on my hands.
(503): Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
(971): damnit I wish I could remember that.

(843): Nice meating you last night
(843): Not a typo

(925): i think i just met the girl of my dreams. someone made a serious statement about rape and she said "pish posh, i love surprise sex"

(425): Hi
(805): Babe...You're really smothering me right now
May 25 2009 10:32PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
ive been addicted to this site for awhile

(508): dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
(617): that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame

(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom
May 26 2009 1:50PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
ive been addicted to this site for awhile

(508): dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
(617): that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame

(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom
May 26 2009 1:58PM
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MidWestGaper
Posts: 386 - Karma: 12
(510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
May 26 2009 1:58PM
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JaphyRyder
Posts: 1766 - Karma: 113
hhaahahaha
May 26 2009 2:24PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 26
i love this site. but the girl next to me is staring at me like imma weirdo.
May 26 2009 2:26PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 26
hahaha

(416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
May 26 2009 2:28PM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
(847): I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
May 26 2009 2:31PM
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Dan.
Posts: 7201 - Karma: 1,126
(410): Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
May 26 2009 3:24PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
hahahaha - these are fucking hilarious.

(405): Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
(918): You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
(405): I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
May 26 2009 3:44PM
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Benedetto.
Posts: 2526 - Karma: 64
(973): Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer


classic for down here in ms

May 26 2009 3:51PM
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Dan.
Posts: 7201 - Karma: 1,126
(775): before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
pedobear on the next one
(314): Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
(573): I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
(314): Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?

(713): Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
(713): I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
(832): Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
May 26 2009 4:07PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 26
ok this is apparently someone in my town...

"(541): Did you see that girl I got with last night?
(1-541): Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay.."
May 28 2009 7:25PM
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