I want to be an illegal alien!!!

>>
>>              FORMS ARE GOING FAST- SIGN UP TODAY!
>>
>> Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an  Iowa  resident and sent to his
>> senator)
>>
>>
>> The Honorable Tom Harkin
>> 731 Hart Senate Office Building
>> Phone (202) 224 3254
>> Washington  DC  ,  20510
>>
>>
>> Dear Senator Harkin,
>>
>>
>> As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service,
>> I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department
>> of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming
>> an
>
>> illegal alien and they referred me to you.
>>
>>
>> My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
>> illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
>> and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
>> accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the  United States  for
>> five
>
>> years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
>> income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I
>> see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone
>> figures it out.
>>
>>
>>
>> Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
>> every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
>> taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can
>> apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
>> for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
>>
>>
>> Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
>> room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying
>> premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost
>> $10,000 a year.
>>
>>
>> Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
>> receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications,
>> as
>
>> well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the  United
>> States  for my son.
>>
>>
>> Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden
>> of
>
>> renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance
>> premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college
>> age
>
>> children driving my car.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
>> (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
>> most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
>>
>>
>> Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather
>> than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
>>
>> Donald Ruppert
>> Burlington ,  IA
>>
>> Get your Forms (NOW)!!
>> Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040.
>>
>> (Please pass this on to your friends so they can save on this great
>> offer.)