So it begins.....
The 2 weeks I spent over christmas produced some of the most amazing moments in my life. I used up a few lives though. Nelson did not fail to blow me away, time and time again. So much to write, I've been putting it off, but now, I begin. Hang with me till the end, it'll be worth it. And remember, storytelling is always better in person. Imagine energetic hand movements, under the breath commentary, and a really persuasive tone that's keeping you in a trance. I begin on Christmas day.
I wake up to the sounds of little children running down the stairs to see what santa brought. Im at my cousin Tiffany's. Her kids (one boy+girl - around 10-12 yrs). The dog, a uncontrolled destructive force unmatched by any I've met, is chewing on my foot. I can't fight it, he just comes back with furious vengance. We had a ball war with the 'bag o balls' 100 plastic balls in a bag. The dog eats about 40. I get some cash and some buds. John and iolov are flying in today to Calgary. Im in Edmonton. Hop on a greyhound, get into calgary with an hour to spare. Grab a cab, shared it with a chinese aussie...yup....and get to the airport. Blah Blah, we get john the next day and jump on a bus to Banff. In banff, we stayed at Octavia's and snuck into the hot pool at the Banff Springs. We were ass nekked when we see some guy cleaning just inside the glass...5 feet away. After a stealth mission of dives, rolls, whispers, and 'go!go!go!''s, I drop john's clothes into the pool trying to get them out of view.....my bad...but we escape unharmed. So we tour around inside, twist one up in the hallway, and walk around the dining halls in the dark. I snatched a set of silver cutlery from a table for no reason. This comes back to kick me in the ass repeatedly. SOme friends drive from Medicine hat (sofie and steph) and we take off to lake louise for the day while they're en route to Banff. Get picked up by some aussies in a van, and we hit up Johnsons canyon, and check out the ice climbing. I decide it's not too hard to climb ice, theres tons of handholds, as long as you don't wear gloves. I start climbing this huge flow (see picture). Some climbers beside me decide to inform me that I am going to die and Im stupid. Maybe, but this is how I live, it's what feels right. Theres another guy, fully decked out in gear climbing up a little 10 ft slope, up and down, up and down......it was pretty funny. So we jet down, and we get to the lake. We leave the aussies, and thats when I lose my first pair of gloves. The first of many. I left one glove in the van, and another set to the aussie who didn't have any. that's 2 pairs. The 3rd, I lost when they ripped, and I left one somewhere...i dunno where. They let us out halfway up to the chateau, and we get out our crazy carpets and bindingless snowboards. We slide down the footpath in the dark, having a wickid time. Get to the bottom, and go for food and beer at the hostel. Hear that our friends have arrived in banff, and it's time to go back. They're furious That we're not in banff waiting for them. Man I got chewed up and spit out and on. (pause)........Get picked up by Hannah, a girl I liftied with at Louise last year. Too cool. She works at the bar, and we visit later on. I left my last pair of gloves in her car. Pair 4. So we spend an uneventful night at the bar, and the next day we want to do something before they go back to the hat, cause they just came for the day. So we convince them to drive to Marble Canyon, where the fires ripped through. We get there, and sofie wants to go home. After stealing their keys, blocking them in with octavia's car etc., they get in their car and drive 6 hours back to the Hat. Lame. After a beautiful walk through the forest and a dangerous decent on a frozen waterfall to peer over the edge into the abyss that it crashes into, we drive back to banff. I realize I've left another pair of gloves in sofie's car.... pair 5. Go skiing at sunshine the next day and have a wickid time. Get back to banff and hop on an all night bus to nelson. We have a connection in cranbrook from 1-4 am. The station is closed...of course...and we have to walk a couple clicks to the tim hortons in -30 weather, where we sleep on stools and drink lots of coffee. Get to nelson, and walk with our stuff to the Flying Squirrel hostel. It's 60$ a night for the 3 of us, and we have to share a room with a mysterious aussie who never left the room for 3 days and just read books. We figured he killed someone and he's hiding out. When I mentioned this to him, he stated he had cut his stay short and was leaving. He sat up, started packing and was gone. wierd. So we hang out etc, good times. Then we go to whitewater to ski. The snow is unreal. I've never skiied anything like it. The mogul run was full of moguls, powder moguls. Droppin cliffs and flowing through trees, it was so liberating, I never wanted to leave. And my story hasn't even gotten interesting yet. I ran into Josh Nelson on the hill, who I worked with in Ottawa at Cycle Power. He's from nelson too. We hit up a booter in the whitewater bowl, and we pull some stylie moves. Returning to nelson (hitching all the time), we ride with all sorts of people. An american family in a giant suburban, chicks from Iowa, locals, all shapes and sizes. New years is approaching. I go around town to see whats goin on. I see the message board, and one with a picture of an ancient hotel in Ymir. This town has one street, and one bar. 45 min out of nelson. 20$. I know the best parties are outside the city, and all the locals will be out of town to party. I think I found our spot. So these 3 girls from washington come into our hostel room and tell us they're sharing our room. 3 of them, 2 beds. Someone's gonna be doublin up. We didn't get a chance to talk to them though. Turns out all our food gets thrown out, and we have to get more. We get to the store 5 min after 6. Closed. But inside I see three girls, ones I saw in the hostel. (I hadn't met them yet). When they come out I tell them the story of our food, and they offer us a lift to another store. sweet. it's closed too though. we get pizza. So after masterful convincing, I get them to commit to a mission to Ymir. We try hitching first..but there was 6 of us, so we just drive. We get to the Ymir Hotel and Bar. The greatest bar Ive ever been in. Big bearded blues bros on stage, bearded locals bein rowdy, chasing young women around...straight out of a movie. Good party. Then we hear that the real party is at the old school house. We get some directions, and head off. Driving up to an old school house, we see tons of cars, and people. probably 150-200 people. Giant bonfire with a pile of wood. Snow sparkiling on the trees, a house packed with 2 dance floors full of people dancing, and a table full of food. Not everyone we're with has 20$, so the girls say they're leaving...whatever...but Iolov goes with them. Go for it, prince! Me n john decide to wait till 2 when they stop making people pay. We sit by the fire, and smoke joints like they're popeye candy sticks. People are literally throwing weed around. This one girl (woman) had a giant 2 paper sticking out of her mouth. Shes alone...'Uhhh' I say, 'Are you smoking that yourself?' 'whoever wants some' she replies, pulling out a huge jar fulll of buds and a huge chunk of hash. 'Someone gave this to me' she tells me....crazzy. Sitting around the fire, I look for my gloves (Octavia gave me another pair). gone. 'What the hell?!' I don't get it. What have I done lately. I reach in my pocket and pull out the silver spoon I stole. Oh. I see. 'Throw it in the fire!' someone says after they hear the story. I can't. It's so smooth to rub, and so shiny. A blatant display of luxury. I can't explain it, It was my Precious. I battle with myself and give it to John. JOhn has it 5 minutes before, you guessed it, his gloves disappear. Now it's gettin really wierd. he throws it in the fire. I devise a plan to rescue it in the morning... He never found his gloves, but I found mine the next morning, in the american chicks car. Daisy was her name. Me n John catch a ride back around 3, in time to catch the girls still up. After some innocent play, they go back to wash. They were just here for the night. cool. SO we decide we will attempt to hitch out to Ainsworth hotsprings. And with that, Part one draws to a close, a horrible anticlimax, I know, but the best part is still to come...by far. Part Two is my greatest story, part one is just the backdrop for it.
C ya soon
the only problem with man is that he doesn't know how he ought to live. But there is a law of life. A law to live by. Not guidelines (commandments)..not suggestions (parents, schools), but a LAW. Just as certain as the law of gravity. The law of nature. Distroy diversity and face extinction. Increased food production = increased population. Starvation is natural. We have to start following the laws of nature and stop thinking we are exempt from them. We have to stop pretending we are gods and we were meant to rule the world and possibly the universe. if we continue, we will crash. we are getting close. As we eliminate species and diversity, we decrease the changes of anything surviving after we destroy ourselves. We are very close to eliminating all life on this planet forever. Something will survive, right? Well, we hope so. But one thing is certain. It won't be us.
The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.
stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon
Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one.
bring Back The 60's!!