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How Santa Handles Stress.
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere. Four of his
elves got sick, and the trainee elves were stoned and did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was
beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were plump from pregnancy and two had jumped the fence and were out heaven knows where. More stress.
Then, as he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey.
When he went to the cupboard, he found the stoned elves had hit the liquor and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He could hear
the stoned elves laughing. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. The laughing
Just then the door bell rang and Santa, who was pretty frustrated with things, cussed all the way to the door. He opened the door and there was a pretty little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel looked up into Santa's angry, glowering face, and said, 'Evenin', Fat Man. Where would you like to put this tree?'
And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.
yep thats interesting, but why didnt santa just get stoned too
HIGH NORTH SESSION 4
The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
Cause he was a busy, busy beaver.
my one friend was pushed into a pole and he riped his sack open on impact now we call him stitchie
What our sport needs is love, not everyone trying to be cooler than each other.-skimack
I love that story. You should publish it. It brings tears to my eyes
Saturday night and you're still hangin' around
Tired of livin' in your one-horse town
Like to find a little hole in the ground
For a while
So you go to the village in your tie-dye jeans
And you stare at the junkies and the closet queens
It's just like some pornographic magazine
And you smile
Captain jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your special island
Captain jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push and you'll be smilin'
Your sister's gone out. she's on a date
You just sit at home and masturbate
The phone is gonna ring soon but you just can't wait
For that call
So you stand on the corner in you new english clothes
And you look so polished from your hair down to your toes
But still your finger's gonna pick your nose
hahaha, good story
Seize the carp
Yeah that's definitely a classic.
haha thats so quality
If a body catch a body coming through the rye...
there was a pic in the french weekend newpaper and on the cover was santa with a little kid on his lap and santas hand was on the kids crotch
'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies
thats going to be a classic some day that we all read to our kids and then laugh our asses of when they look at us like 'what the hell is so damn funny about that story??'
'I didn't fart. That was my toe poping!'
-my little sister
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