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March, 2024

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Funniest/Coolest thing you've ever stolen

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TotallyTrevor
Posts: 4379 - Karma: 26,359
personally i havent really stolen anything more then the occasional candy bar or whatever, but my friend steals sometimes and he stole the funniest thing last week

so my mom gave away these short ski poles i was using so i didnt have poles last weekend, this kid told me to take some from the rental shop. i walked by the poles and went into the bathroom cause this guy was like guarding them. right when i walked into the bathroom my friend walked up and started browsing through the poles. when i came out my friend was out side and he kind of motioned towards his pants, as he limped away like a G. then he pulled the poles out of his pants hahahaha it was hilarious.


long story short. my friend crotched me a pair of poles, any funny/cool stories???????
Nov 24 2008 9:36AM
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danedil
Posts: 89 - Karma: 69
i worked at a shitty ski shopped this winter that basically jerked us around for hours the whole time and through out the year me and my buddy found out that there inventory system was a joke so i ended up with two pairs of goggles canopy and giros and a pair of skis.... dont feel the slightest bit bad about it
Jun 26 2014 6:02PM
6 1
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SamtheHoe
Posts: 33 - Karma: 12
when i was 16 i stole a bottle of jager from safeway, really wanted some alchol so i was like fuck it. stuck it in my ski pants an ran out the door.
Jun 26 2014 10:13PM
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Garebear
Posts: 378 - Karma: 4,908
i stole the head off a statue once
Jun 26 2014 10:15PM
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PungentMelon
Posts: 202 - Karma: 2,499
Jun 26 2014 11:16PM
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dingus
Posts: 1328 - Karma: 7,877
I stole the Malaysia Airlines flight 370 plane I have it in my garage I'm gonna wait a couple years to take it out for a spin so the government will forget and not notice. Does anyone have some human trafficking experience the passengers are currently in my basement taking up a lot of space
Jul 11 2014 7:45PM
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SKIWAGEN
Posts: 497 - Karma: 313
40 yard line marker from my school's football field, and a lighter from Mad River Glen because I had no money for it. Oh and a traffic cone from a nursing home when I was really drunk
Jul 11 2014 11:58PM
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suup
Posts: 1485 - Karma: 4,366
Huge ass rockstar banner from albertsons.
Jul 12 2014 7:33PM
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p.hawks
Posts: 2832 - Karma: 581
A fire extinguisher and a sign with a the radioactive symbol from a former nazi barracks
Jul 12 2014 10:10PM
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.Rybak.
Posts: 9017 - Karma: 9,864
Me and my friends sort of get into this habit when we drive around late at night. We take traffic cones and then instead of keeping them we put them on peoples front door steps who we know.

We even took one of those largeish ones that has a blinking orange light and put it on our other friends door step. Well i guess we put every cone we took on his door step and it went from small ones and got bigger and bigger until we got to the blinking orange light one.
Jul 12 2014 10:34PM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462


I stole minor stuff when I was a little kid, but have some class people. You are harming someone personally by stealing anything.
Jul 12 2014 10:58PM
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jacklong27
Posts: 184 - Karma: 485
shred-seshSo I've never stolen anything but I was with my friend when he stole a very large purple dildo. He did get caught stealing it. So it's on his record that he stole a purple dildo. That's pretty damn funny if you ask me


This guy I know one time just walked in to a sex store started looking around grabed a vibrater then ran
Jul 13 2014 12:01PM
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jacklong27
Posts: 184 - Karma: 485
shred-seshSo I've never stolen anything but I was with my friend when he stole a very large purple dildo. He did get caught stealing it. So it's on his record that he stole a purple dildo. That's pretty damn funny if you ask me


This guy I know one time just walked in to a sex store started looking around grabed a vibrater then ran
Jul 13 2014 12:01PM
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crotchvent
Posts: 1527 - Karma: 2,182
This kid that skis at same hill as i do stole some jskis out of some ugly dudes back yard and then he snapped then the next day. Think he said the guys name was Steve or something dumb like that.
Jul 13 2014 5:05PM
6 1
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remove
Posts: 2566 - Karma: 1,026
I stole a disco ball once on the way home from the bars. No clue where it came from or how I got it home. Just woke up with it
Jul 13 2014 5:24PM
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numnuts
Posts: 395 - Karma: 1,150
Stole a salt shaker and made a long line of salt all over the store and another time we stole like 50 to 80 gnomes and put them in the middle of an intersection. Idk why we chose an intersection but seeing it in therror morning was quite silly
Feb 25 2016 9:13PM
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Momo.
Posts: 218 - Karma: 1,244
I was a freshman in high school and some girls spotted me as I was cruising around solo at the mall. I was not a big fan of these chicks, but I don't like being rude and figured it wouldn't hurt to chill with them for a bit. After a while they dragged me into the back of this store to look at some bras and shit. Out of nowhere they start stuffing thongs into my pockets and theirs, whispering to me "we will lay them all out later and see who gets what". At this point I scoot right the fuck out of that store. We end up walking to a bench and spreading them all out. They invite me to come over as they are talking about sending pics to their bfs of their new underwear. Didn't feel like getting wrapped up in that so I peaced shortly after with a pocketful of sunshine and thongs.
Feb 25 2016 10:42PM
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Rennis_Deynolds
Posts: 2739 - Karma: 19,061
Feb 25 2016 10:46PM
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Craze
Posts: 1132 - Karma: 423
when i was 12 me and a friend would steal packs of condoms from the gas station, fill them up rite out side at the water spout and chuck em at cars. Always had a good laugh with that
Feb 26 2016 12:42AM
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littleman34
Posts: 1328 - Karma: 3,974
Once I stole a $40 scale from a store. For scaling rocks;)
Feb 26 2016 10:55AM
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HAMNATION
Posts: 814 - Karma: 1,719
I like to get stuff and put it in my friends houses. I call it reverse burglary. It's mad funny when their like I came home and there was this inflatable shark and an old tube tv in my living room LOL.
Feb 26 2016 9:23PM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
some guy walked into me pretty hard last night at the club and tried to play it off as my fault because he was with a girl and pretty distracted. His hat fell off, I bent over and put it on my buddies head and walked away lol
Feb 27 2016 4:33PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51261 - Karma: 157,432
Some guy "Odoyle" was running for something in maine fall 2010. I took the sign out of the yard and was running up to cars/blocking traffic and screaming odoyle rules at them.

I never found out if he won, but I'm sure I helped the cause.
Feb 27 2016 9:01PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
supermagician__some guy walked into me pretty hard last night at the club and tried to play it off as my fault because he was with a girl and pretty distracted. His hat fell off, I bent over and put it on my buddies head and walked away lol


hell ya bro nothin like stealin another bro's flat brim at da club
Feb 27 2016 9:03PM
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Bamjam
Posts: 200 - Karma: 129
One time we were stealing packages off of peoples porches, and we see a huuuge long package (like, 6' long, 10" wide/deep) along with a smaller package that was about a cubic foot. That's gotta be some good shit right? Friend hops out, jacks the shit, I drive off. We get to the QFC nearby and open the packages. Huge long package was just some uuuuugly ass blinds. I mean ugly. Like, who the fuck bought these. Smaller package was fucking Christmas themed paper plates, one of those plastic cups with integrated straws, and a small box of assorted buttons. I want my money back.
Feb 27 2016 10:53PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,469
BortySome guy "Odoyle" was running for something in maine fall 2010. I took the sign out of the yard and was running up to cars/blocking traffic and screaming odoyle rules at them.

I never found out if he won, but I'm sure I helped the cause.


Awesome movie. Well done
Feb 28 2016 8:40AM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
Peter.hell ya bro nothin like stealin another bro's flat brim at da club


ayy not even in possession of it, it was a gift. a nice obey 5 panel for a friend!

that and if he wasn't a dick about the scenario I would have either picked it up for him, or just walked away.
Feb 28 2016 9:48AM
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HAMNATION
Posts: 814 - Karma: 1,719
BamjamOne time we were stealing packages off of peoples porches, and we see a huuuge long package (like, 6' long, 10" wide/deep) along with a smaller package that was about a cubic foot. That's gotta be some good shit right? Friend hops out, jacks the shit, I drive off. We get to the QFC nearby and open the packages. Huge long package was just some uuuuugly ass blinds. I mean ugly. Like, who the fuck bought these. Smaller package was fucking Christmas themed paper plates, one of those plastic cups with integrated straws, and a small box of assorted buttons. I want my money back.


so that is where my ugly blinds and party plates went....


you still got em?
Feb 28 2016 7:27PM
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corona
Posts: 12752 - Karma: 32,264
BamjamOne time we were stealing packages off of peoples porches, and we see a huuuge long package (like, 6' long, 10" wide/deep) along with a smaller package that was about a cubic foot. That's gotta be some good shit right? Friend hops out, jacks the shit, I drive off. We get to the QFC nearby and open the packages. Huge long package was just some uuuuugly ass blinds. I mean ugly. Like, who the fuck bought these. Smaller package was fucking Christmas themed paper plates, one of those plastic cups with integrated straws, and a small box of assorted buttons. I want my money back.


you are the worst kind of people.
Feb 28 2016 7:29PM
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first_rodeo
Posts: 2383 - Karma: 7,764
mmccarthy14my friends stole about 6 boxes of those from a local shop haha


....Way to support your LSS (local skate shop)
Feb 28 2016 7:51PM
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gapersarefriends
Posts: 2158 - Karma: 4,269
During homecoming this year we were throwing a pretty big tailgate and my buddy and i were walking back from the parade, and i guess all club cars have the same key. so we were walking back, nabbed this blue and orange boise state golf cart and parked it in the backyard of where the tailgate was.
Feb 29 2016 2:06PM
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Prof.Pretzel
Posts: 451 - Karma: 796
My boy took a hackey sack from Walmart once
Mar 22 2016 8:17AM
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ICary
Posts: 322 - Karma: 777
I took a "Slow Skiing" sign a couple days ago on my mountains last day. Pulled that moo out of the snow, and booked it down the trail, pass ski patrol, and all the way to my car. It now hangs proudly in my college Apt.
Mar 22 2016 8:25AM
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Crispy.
Posts: 6102 - Karma: 7,626
Peter.hell ya bro nothin like stealin another bro's flat brim at da club


I hope more people realize how funny this reply was.
Mar 22 2016 8:53AM
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Corgy
Posts: 67 - Karma: 655
I've stolen a pair of attack 13 bindings in September during a preseason tent sale, and a pair of spy goggles. I feel pretty bad, but it was from a douche store that has no idea about park shut and feeds off the local rich idiots who ski at Vail once a year
Mar 22 2016 9:02PM
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iFlip
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 19,088
CorgyI've stolen a pair of attack 13 bindings in September during a preseason tent sale, and a pair of spy goggles. I feel pretty bad, but it was from a douche store that has no idea about park shut and feeds off the local rich idiots who ski at Vail once a year


You are an asshole.
Mar 23 2016 12:06AM
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profa_212
Posts: 8633 - Karma: 32,533
ObiWanKablowmewalked out of a tbell with a neon pink "caution wet floor" sign


my buddy stole the giant "open late" taco bell window sticker with tacos on it. He ripped that bitch right off and walked out.
Mar 23 2016 12:48AM
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narplife
Posts: 35 - Karma: 69
Is it stealing if I paid for it... Even if what I paid was less than 1% of the listed price? Back when self checkouts were still a new thing, I managed to get a wicked discount on a DeWault Power Tool Combo Kit by first going to the plumbing section at the hardware store and finding a connector that had a sticker price tag. Peal off and stick on combo box, go to self checkout, scan tools and hear a alert... realize there is a security tag which require associate to remove said tag, begin to shit pants... associate simply removes tag and places tools in bagging section, once she's gone stuff my 2 dollars in to pay and gtfo of there. Few months later they installed cameras at the checkout and those weight sensors, guess I wasn't the only one with the genius idea.
May 1 2018 3:58PM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4750 - Karma: -559
Like 20 plants and a 10 pack and a couple gs of cash.
May 1 2018 11:17PM
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lauraobermeyer
Posts: 578 - Karma: 11,482
I walked out of a bowling alley with a pair of bowling shoes and I'm not that upset about it????? they look fly as hell tbh
May 2 2018 1:00AM
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-olives
Posts: 545 - Karma: 2,819
quality bump...


however, i did steal my friends kitten like a week after he got it. he was getting with a girl in his room so my instinct was to knock on his front door to see if his mom would let me in. she did. i walked right into his room as this girl is literally undressing him, took the kitten, and walked back outside to my car. he didnt really give a shit about the kitten and was more concerned about getting his nut so i kinda just drove the kitten around town for a while. twas lit
May 2 2018 9:00AM
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basedjase
Posts: 2510 - Karma: 640
PeppermillRenoLike 20 plants and a 10 pack and a couple gs of cash.

your name paired w the items you stole makes this so much funnier
May 2 2018 12:45PM
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argyle409
Posts: 1401 - Karma: 1,890
A gas station windshield squeegee? Unintentionally stole it - I defiantly didn't buy one, but I now have one... I'm guessing while getting gas I set it down in the the trunk as I was getting towels to check the oil level.
May 2 2018 8:16PM
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DayMan
Posts: 4702 - Karma: 8,727
My friend got shoplifting charges for stealing a giant inflatable joint from a smoke shop
May 3 2018 10:35AM
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