Ok guys, I hope you are ready for this. Cause I have a whole bunch of badass shit to sell here. So hold on to your computers and get ready to be amazed!
Before we get to the stuff let me fill you in on why I am selling such wonderful items:
Turns out that life is expensive, and I, being the person I am, have been having one hell of a time making enough money to make ends meet. I mean I have tried everything from begging to stealing and even took it as far as getting a job. But still, I find myself here, yet again, completely broke. I'm getting hungry so I figure I should sell some shit and go grocery shopping! I dont mean to be a jerk and ask money for this stuff, and I would love to be that guy that just gives it away so everyone thinks he's cool. But, I recently was informed that it is very difficult to make a living by giving things away.
So here we go, the shit:
First thing I have to offer is a kick ass, totaly rare, ninja suit made by Aeryx. Although many dont recognize this suit as being affiliated at all with ninjas, believe me, it is. It is one of about ten samples ever made of this badass suit before aeryx went out of buisness. So there wont be any fags up on the hill cramping your style. The size says LARGE, normally reffering to the size of the skiers junk withheld inside the ninja suit. And believe me there is pleanty of room for large junk. This jacket also comes with a patented zip on tall extension, just incase you have a stomach that is 8 inches taller then normal. Although I do not have a taller than normal torso I used this extension to make me more badass with the ladies. Believe me chicks dig this shit, you zip on a tall extension and they'll flock around you like bee's on a hamburger. This suit is not for the faint at heart, and carries much responsability, one can easily get lost in trying to discover all the pockets hidden in this suit. This suit is used, but hardly shows it.
Now, if that suit wasnt good enough, I have something to make even the most manly man weak in the knees. It is the exact same ninja suit, only in kick ass white, with a pattern to help you blend in before any ninja attacks you may (will) do! Same size, price, everything.
Ok, the next dope as hell suit I have for sale is the ninja master suit, only for ninjas, that are also masters... This suit has saved my life in many battles and will serve you well. It has suffered very little throughout its time, but does have a small tear in the mesh on the right elbow (sword clipped it, dont worry though, I used a level three nunchuck attack and killed my opponent instanly affter). This suit is also from the bad ass sample line. The jacket is light to let you move fast like a tiger, but ofcourse you cannot move like a tiger with cold legs, so the pants are filled with down (some call it puffy, I just call it dope). Anyway, both are size large and fit loose, so you can hide weapons within.
$150 shipped on this bad boy.
Now this next one is only for someone who has a really bad ass girlfriend or who is a smaller ninja in training. This is a Lime green aeryx onepiece, it is a mens small, which fits bad ass girls perfectly. It is brand new and still has tag on it (because I ain't no bitch and you wont catch me wearing a pussy ass ninja suit, I wear large and bigger!) tag has an MSRP of $289. Going to any smaller kick ass ninja for only $100 shipped.
Ok, now we get to the hard goods, this is the stuff you can really mess stuff up on!
First off is a pair of hardly used Momment skis, I know they messed up when they named these, it was supposed to read, NINJA, instead they have TAHOE printed on them. They are super wide and super badass! But dont let the extreme doses of wideness and badassness get to you, they are still super light. I am sad to let these go even though I had them for such a short period, but the time I spent with these will live forever in my heart. Wait, no, I'm a badass ninja skiier and I dont get sad. But I can guarentee the next badass dude to step on these will be in for a treat. Size 186, center mount, look PX12s on top.
Ski's and boot clamps for $350
Now for my last and final piece of ninja equiptment is a pair of emo ninja bindings. These bindings are white like my skin but black like my soul.... Yeah, fuck emo's. I never even mounted these lame as emo bindings. They say AXIAL2 140, but I just read pussy. Pfff, I cant even stand to look at these let alone step my ninja boots into them. yours for $120 shipped
If you have a problem with how I talk about this stuff then good, that makes me all the more badass, and you all the less. Dont waste your time telling us that you have a vagina, this post is only for other bad ass ninja ass skiiers who arent queers!