Member of the Month

PartyBullshiit
March, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Family guy quotes

profile picture
skiblandford
Posts: 1503 - Karma: 2
my favorite family guy quote is when Peter kidnapped the pope and the pope says "as you said peter i ama da frikin pope"

post ur fav family guy quotes
Sep 9 2008 8:55PM
0 0
profile picture
rlee
Posts: 593 - Karma: 1,144
quagmire opening the toilet door to a tied up girl..... ''Jackpot''
got plenty more but im to tired
Sep 9 2008 8:59PM
0 0
profile picture
ShredTheGnarnia
Posts: 2544 - Karma: 79
"That reminds me of the time I____________"
Sep 9 2008 8:59PM
0 0
profile picture
the420skier
Posts: 569 - Karma: 11

Giggidy Giggidy goo

Sep 9 2008 9:00PM
0 0
profile picture
no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
oh god i have so many, i've seen every episode like 5 times, i can't think of the best one though, it's so hard
Sep 9 2008 9:00PM
0 0
profile picture
skiblandford
Posts: 1503 - Karma: 2
ha ha YES so funny
Sep 9 2008 9:00PM
0 0
profile picture
-Nick-
Posts: 1479 - Karma: 24
when peter was like "oh ive never ridden in a limo before, I call shotgun!" and he runs into the front seat, i laughed pretty hard at that
Sep 9 2008 9:02PM
0 0
profile picture
jason...
Posts: 9006 - Karma: 780
"...and now heres ollie williams with the port-side weather report, Ollie?" "I SAW A FISH!"
Sep 9 2008 9:25PM
0 0
profile picture
JTL
Posts: 2275 - Karma: 338
haha that one was just on yesterday,

lois: "peter, don't wipe your nose on the couch!" (peter is on all fours on the couch wiping his nose)
Sep 9 2008 9:31PM
0 0
profile picture
no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,267
here's ollie williams with the hurricane update, ollie "IT'S RAININ SIDEWAYS" thank you ollie, where's your umbrella? "ABOUT A HALF A MILE BACK" can we bring you anything? "SOME SOUP" what kind of soup? "CHOCOLATE"

stewie- "brian your mug that says life's a beach is dangerously close to the word 'bitch' and i personally think it's a stitch but some of the other employees have complained about it being 'inappropriate"

"you know brian a company is like a centipede, it only works if all the legs are moving, and you....well...you are a busted leg"

"i don't want to come between you.....or do i?"

"you should be a parking ticked because you've got fiiine written all over you, OH"

i think my favorite episode is when stewie sets up the office in his room, it's fucking epic

Sep 9 2008 9:31PM
0 0
profile picture
ShredTheGnarnia
Posts: 2544 - Karma: 79
and heres ollie with the weather. "......rainy.....highs in the ........YOU WANT THIS DOG?!?!"
Sep 9 2008 9:36PM
0 0
profile picture
Sufferboy
Posts: 4241 - Karma: 122
MEG WHO LET YOU BACK IN THE HOUSE

woa woa woa Lois this is not my bat man cup



Sep 9 2008 9:37PM
0 0
profile picture
PBRasap
Posts: 1079 - Karma: 326
Brian ! theres a message in my cereal, it says ooooooooooo

peter, those are cheerios.
Sep 9 2008 9:43PM
0 0
profile picture
Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88

Chris runs down the stairs holding a shoebox-"Look mom, i maid a diareahha for school!!!"
Louis-"You mean diarama"
Chris- "Oh" he puts his head down and walks slowly out of the room....

Sep 9 2008 9:51PM
0 0
profile picture
joly.sp
Posts: 2305 - Karma: 585
Lois becomes mayor and when she gives west his job back and the guy says we need to have a whole new election and west shoots him and says anybody else and the guys says "we all did" so he gets shot and then he ask's again and some guy said "my wife did." ahha
Sep 9 2008 9:55PM
0 0
profile picture
Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
stewie talking to a hooker "at this point in your life, is there any tread left on the tire? or is it like throwing a hotdog down a hallway?"
Sep 9 2008 9:57PM
0 0
profile picture
JTL
Posts: 2275 - Karma: 338
i think it is soup, idk
Sep 9 2008 9:58PM
0 0
profile picture
HeartBeatFaster
Posts: 723 - Karma: 26
Oh so many!

"ahh what color are those big red firetrucks?"

Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?
Quagmire: Taylor Hanson"
Joe: Taylor Hanson is a guy
Quagmire: you guys are yankin me "Hey lets put one over on Quagmire"
Peter: No, he's actually a guy
Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible. Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all those magazines. Oh my God



Doctor: He's fine he's just really fat.
Peter: what? This is news to me

when Peter gets caught making love to Lois' liposuction removed fat "this is exactly what it looks like"




Sep 9 2008 10:01PM
0 0
profile picture
TeamJones
Posts: 629 - Karma: 12
"Never have I ever given a reach around to a spider monkey while singing the national anthem."
"Oh come on!"
Sep 9 2008 10:03PM
0 0
profile picture
blindside
Posts: 5619 - Karma: 1,199
(when peter just walks into the room and he's a moose) "ummm lois, quick question, do we have any tylenol?"


too many others to remember
Sep 9 2008 10:03PM
0 0
profile picture
skiblandford
Posts: 1503 - Karma: 2
when peter was a kid his teacher did a disection of a clown and his teacher goes "oh oh oh i know why he died his lungs are filled with CANDY TONS AND TONS OF CANDY? as he throws cand from the clowns lungs
Sep 9 2008 10:05PM
0 0
profile picture
blindside
Posts: 5619 - Karma: 1,199
oh! when peter's doing the IQ test:

lois: okay, say the word "what"
peter: hhmmm i wanna say "who"....

aahahahhaahaa
Sep 9 2008 10:08PM
0 0
profile picture
JTL
Posts: 2275 - Karma: 338

doctor: peter your test results have come back negative for tumors,
peter: so what about that thing?
d: thats your penis.
p: oh...what about the....
d: testicles...


might not be perfectly word for word, but it was soo funny on tv

Sep 9 2008 10:09PM
0 0
profile picture
rudager
Posts: 11332 - Karma: 4,597
It's CHUNKY!!! not chocolate.

all the ollie williams quotes
and " your overreacting, and you can't spell overreacting with out overies, cause your a girl"
Sep 9 2008 10:17PM
0 0
profile picture
mothaeast
Posts: 2923 - Karma: 13
he says chunky, not chocolate
Sep 9 2008 10:20PM
0 0
profile picture
fupaface
Posts: 810 - Karma: 449
Peter is in the doctors office filling out the billing information.  "Where it says name ill put deceased, and where it says sex? ill put no thank you im dead.

Sep 9 2008 10:22PM
0 0
profile picture
fupaface
Posts: 810 - Karma: 449
he sees a moose holding a sign that says "Will do moose stuff for money")
Moose: Hey, can ya help me out? I'm trying to get a couple of bucks for something to eat.
Man: What's "Moose Stuff"?
Moose: Eh, whatever you want it to be. I could have sex with ya, or I could just stand over there and drink from the lake, and everything in between.
Man: Get in.
Sep 9 2008 10:26PM
0 0
profile picture
bermbuster49
Posts: 7445 - Karma: 90
"-as untouched as an asian womens turnsignal"  ... flash to an asian on a 5 lane highway: "how much turn signal i need to cut cross 5 lanes? i think none. i turn now."  as she takes out 4 cars all the way across and then hits a fuel truck and everything explodes hahahahah

Sep 9 2008 10:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Shpadoinkle
Posts: 10437 - Karma: 84
[riding a circus elephant]
Peter Griffin: Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.

Stewie Griffin: Mm, Florida. Just think somewhere in this state right now Jeb Bush is eating a live puppy.

Smurf #1: Yo, Smurf, that party last night was freakin', Smurf!
Smurf #2: You bet your smurf it was!
Smurf #1: Hey, I saw you leaving with Smurfette.
Smurf #2: Yeah. Right when we left the party, she started smurfin' me.
Smurf #2: Shut the smurf up! Right in the smurfing parking lot?
Smurf #2: Oh, yeah.
Smurf #1: That's freakin' smurf!
Smurf #2: You betcha.
Smurf #1: Freakin' smurf.

Hooker: Hey
Lois Griffin: Peter, there's a hooker in the bed!
Peter Griffin: Stand still, Lois. Their vision is based on movement
[they stand still]
Hooker: Where did you go?
Sep 9 2008 10:36PM
0 0
profile picture
Bob_Gnarley
Posts: 1583 - Karma: 0

Sep 9 2008 10:39PM
0 0
profile picture
PBRasap
Posts: 1079 - Karma: 326
brian to stewie; your saying it weird why are you putting so much emphasis on the H
Stewie: What are you talking about, im just saying it COOWHHHip.
brian: say whip
Stewie:whip
Brian: now say cool whip
Stewie: coowhhhip
Brian :
cool whip
Stewie :cooowHhhhiiip
Brian :YOUR EATING HAIR!!!!
Sep 9 2008 10:47PM
0 0
profile picture
eric25
Posts: 754 - Karma: 11
Tom: "Now back to Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa reporting on the hurricane. Trisha."
Trisha: "Tom I'm standing..."
At this point, Trisha gets hit by a car and the clip returns to the news team.
Sep 9 2008 10:51PM
0 0
profile picture
slaydave
Posts: 1697 - Karma: 62
you got my money?
Sep 9 2008 11:12PM
0 0
profile picture
Squirrel_Murphy
Posts: 2195 - Karma: 1,165

shmermemremmrrfn;sdfsf DAN and smdfsdmfsdfksfsdjkf AND JUNK
UH, I can't uh did you just uh, uh what?

Sep 9 2008 11:20PM
0 0
profile picture
skiunit101
Posts: 162 - Karma: 16
Oh no the government is here! RUN E.T. RUN!
Sep 9 2008 11:32PM
0 0
profile picture
Jwalk
Posts: 4647 - Karma: 134
when peter tapes something on tv and the fbi bust in and are like

"do you have the permission from fox and abc to record that "

peter holds up a paper and says " only fox and the guys start shooting at him

or

" sheriff pie The"
Sep 9 2008 11:37PM
0 0
profile picture
Alex_G
Posts: 11902 - Karma: 1,018
when they are in court, i forgot when but everybody was like, "Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" and then the kool aid man bursts through the door and goes "OOOOOOOHHHHH YEAHHHHH!"
Sep 9 2008 11:40PM
0 0
profile picture
=Worf=
Posts: 2468 - Karma: 25
stewie-"you cut my eggs, you two fight to the death!"

Lois (when brian brings home the coke whore) "let me get you a wet rag so you can wipe that blood out from under your nose"

"welcome to petoria, i was going to call it peterland but that was takin buy that gay bar near the airport"
Sep 10 2008 9:36AM
0 0
profile picture
seine_Dudeheit
Posts: 2282 - Karma: 16
Click for larger image
Sep 10 2008 9:43AM
0 0
profile picture
[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
It's "cut my MILK"
Sep 10 2008 9:45AM
0 0
profile picture
=Worf=
Posts: 2468 - Karma: 25

your right and i am wrong but it is "you fetch me the wall street journal, you two fight to the death"

and "cut my milk
"how should i do that sir"
freeze it then cut jeese do i have to do everything"

i was just combing two differnet line from the same ep

Sep 10 2008 10:00AM
0 0
profile picture
*Fujative*
Posts: 8554 - Karma: 183
Peter- "It's like that time I forgot how to sit down"
Sep 10 2008 10:22AM
0 0
profile picture
Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
how about that musicalmontage where peter decides he needs to have some jewish friends cause "all jews are rich" and he sings...."even though they killed my lord i need a jew."
Sep 10 2008 11:08AM
0 0
profile picture
.Roockley.
Posts: 3857 - Karma: 4,000
the bit where peter trips over walking and hurts his knee and all he says for 5 minutes is   argghhhh, huuuuuh arrrrrgh
Sep 10 2008 12:05PM
0 0
profile picture
bfnradford
Posts: 921 - Karma: 100
Quagmire: Hey peter, you got any greeting cards for if you transferred VD to someone?
Peter: Hmm, lets see. here we go, Sorry i accidentally gave you VD.
Q: Oh, all you got is accidental huh...alright ill take it


1,2,3,4,5,6,7...7, 7 prostitutes
Cleveland: Ya peter, you and 5 of those protitutes get out of here!
Sep 10 2008 12:16PM
0 0
profile picture
mtvtut
Posts: 59 - Karma: 19
peter" have they ever shown the count doing someone in?"
brian" wait, your asking if they have ever done a seaseme street where they show the count killing someone, then sucking their blood for sustanence."
peter" yea"
brian " no they've never done that"
Sep 10 2008 12:16PM
0 0
profile picture
wordzofwizdum
Posts: 476 - Karma: 448
Robert Lozer
Sep 10 2008 12:18PM
0 0
profile picture
leckett1
Posts: 6476 - Karma: 294
hahahaha. Such a manatee joke
Sep 10 2008 12:21PM
0 0
profile picture
Rossiscratch
Posts: 901 - Karma: 13
I'll tell you what's not cool killing strippers. Strippers are people too; naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later behind the curtain of a VIP room. Besides, there's no reason to kill them, 'cause most of them are already dead inside...Good night, folks!
Sep 10 2008 12:54PM
0 0
profile picture
Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
YEAH HOMEGROWN.....I was thinking that knee one too! its when he's looking for the willi wonka golden ticket...and it blows away and he's running after it and he falls. sooooo funny.
Sep 10 2008 1:07PM
0 0
profile picture
leckett1
Posts: 6476 - Karma: 294
Sep 10 2008 5:30PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)