okay we all know how hilarious someone who hasn't slept in a bit of a while can be. anyone got any stories about funny things your friends have said when they're sleep talking or have been up doing homework all night or something along the lines of that?
to get this going right:
"ho ho thats your fault man."
"i know that, sir."
"are you drunk? you better get those beer cans out of the car before the cops come."
"sir im not drunk, can you please leave me alone?"
"im so outta here. im not witnessing to this, plus im drunk in public."
So one night i was in the kitchen making myself a snack, and my brother walks in and im like, 'what you doing?' and he just mumbles some shit, then he puts his foot on the pedal to the bin, it opens and he starts pissing inside it,while still asleep, im like' Woah thats not the toilet' hes like'yeah it is' so im like 'Ok whatever you say bro' and chuck a tomato at his head. I get a strike and he wakes up, he shout 'WHAT THE FUCK' and runs out into his room, man i wish i had it on camera.
Why not so serious?
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when i was younger, like 7 or 8 i think i slept in a differrent room (good because i would have fallen down stairs and died haha) and theres a grate outside said room, which is perpindicular to the bathroom
i though i got up and took a piss but instea of the toilet it was into the grate. and my mom woke me up and i was like, no this didnt happen.
i was sleeping out side with a kid wh hates bugs, so right before he went to sllep, he unloaded a half can of off bugspray onto his face. He wakes me and my friend up in the middle of the night, and we just like "we have to go, they are coming, get out of your slleping bag, we half to pack up, etc. We convinced him that 'they', were coming in the morning and he went back to sleep. He had no memory of it in the morning.
Sparknotes: Off brand Bugspray. Fucks with your sleep
Beer is so much more than a breakfast drink
you guys got nothing. this isnt mine, its my friend's, but its so intense i got to claim it. so my friend was at home sleepin, and had a dream that a giant flood was coming into the avenues in salt lake, which is where he lives. so he got out of bed, and ran up the street like 4 blocks, dodging cars and stuff, all while asleep!!! he ended up waking up later in this park like 4 blocks up from his house, and vaguely remembered like actually having cars swerve around him, but he was definately asleep. how crazy is that?!?!
so i put on my wizard robe and hat and went down to eat some noobs for breakfast, when all of a sudden hansel came up and started telling me a cool story. It was long, but in the end he basically climbed mt. vesuvius and pee'd in many girls' butts
yeah my cousin sleep walks and i stay at his house in the summer. hes had a few when i walk in after he goes to bed.
1. As i walk in and try to be quiet all of a sudden Sam (said cousin) jumps out of bed. Literally, jumps out of the bed. He starts flailing around going "THERES A LOBSTER IN MY BED THERES A LOBSTER IN MY BED" I continue to tell him that there in fact is not an aquatic animal living in his bed. "I FELT IT IT BIT ME" and walks out the room. i settle in go wow that sucks if he gets in a car or something, then i see him come back in...with a 9 iron in his hand. He repeatedly hits his bed and throws the mattress somewhere then sleeps on the floor. Waking up the next day he had no idea what happend.
2. I'm sitting in the kitchen eating a late night snack (im and insomniac so i dont really sleep that much plus its the cape so i have places to go people to see) and all of a sudden sam walks in with just his boxers on. I say hi and he mumbles a few words and goes to the fridge and grabs some milk. Now normally, i would say "great choice not only is it scrumtious, but it also helps you build big bones, and miley cyrus drinks it too." But Sam is lactoceintolerant(sp?) so he drinks half the gallon then goes to bed. Now i wasn't there to witness this, but apparently sam found himself woken up on the toilet having a not so good time.
Theres others that are actually funnier, but im getting lazy of typing. kids a goon though
why so serious?
You have the maturity of a 4 year old, and the physique to match.
I need 100 beers, exactly 100.
me: Yo man you coming to my rail jam next week that im having in my backyard right?
jared: of course i wouldnt miss it for the world, wait a rail jam is a male orgy right because if not im not coming
when my mom was like 15 her friend slept over at their house on lake michigan. My moms friend really wanted to drive their boat but my grandpa wouldnt ever let her. So in the middle of the night my moms friend gets up, walks outside and down to the dock and gets on the boat (all while asleep) and then she started up the boat. It was a pretty loud boat so it woke up my grandma who then looked outside and saw my moms friend standing on their boat about to drive away into lake michigan. so then my grandma runs outside yelling but then she realized that my moms friend was asleep so then she wakes her up and the girl was real freaked out since she had just woke up on a boat in the middle of the night.
once when i was a lot younger i had a stock car track and i guess i got up (asleep) and starting playing with them in the living room. my dad walked in and i took a car off the track and threw it and it hit his forehead and i screamed "let go of me" repeatedly even though he wasnt touching me.
Ok so i was sleeping in the same room as my cousins and one of them sleepwalks a bunch, so I wake up to him bumping into shit and knocking stuff over, saying "I cant find the bathroom" over and over again. It's like 3 in the morning and i want to go back to sleep so i tell him that the bathroom is through the door and he just walks toward me, still saying "I cant find the bathroom". I decided id just ignore him and try to sleep some more, so I turned around and closed my eyes. Little did I know he had moved into the space between my bed and the wall (it was a small room). I kinda forgot about him and i started feeling something wet tricking onto my feet, and im like "what the hell" and i realized he was peeing on me! I screamed my ass off at him and he woke up and ran to the actual bathroom, but i also woke the entire house up screaming "What the Fuck!? Did you just piss on me??!?!?" I had to change my sheets and i ended up sleeping on a couch instead of that bed. That blew but it was kinda funny.
My dad has some good stories. He had a dream about a bug on his chest, so he starts scratching at it to get it off, but the bug won't move. Starts scratching harder and harder, bug won't move. Keeps scratching, starts to hurt, and wakes up to find he's scratched right through the skin on his chest, and there's blood all over him.
alright heres a story. when i was in london last march visiting friends we were able to score some girl talk tickets. needless to say i was smashed before i got there (fucking strongbow). BUT that night i apparently slept walked over to my friends drawer and tried to take a piss in it before he tackled me. haha and then for some reason instead of going back to bed i fell asleep in the shower with the water running. yep it was a crazy night to say the least