big brown grizzly in kananaskis three years ago, i think there was a canmore news story on it but i don't live in canmore so if there was i didn't see it haha. i was out for a walk with some friends late at night in the woods, stopped to take a piss in the bushes. my friends kept walking and i told them i would catch up. so anyways, i run off the path and find a good tree to urinate on. just before i unzipped my fly, i catch something out of the corner of my eye moving toward me at a high rate of speed. i could barely see the thing in the dark, just like the silhouette, but i could hear it pretty well, like rolling thunder. i forgot everything i know about bears and just stood there, frozen. it slows down and starts walking toward me, i start stepping backwards. then i started talking to it, saying stupid shit like "chill out, i just wanted to piss, i'm leaving, don't hurt me."
turns out bears don't know english. all of a sudden, the motherfucker jumps at me and smokes me in the left side of the head with the right side of it's paw. i almost blacked out, find myself lying on the ground in the fetal position with a bear over top raking my arms and legs with its claws. it rolls me over and few times, then starts getting really brutal and kicking me like a fucking soccer ball. trust me, you have never had your ass beat until a bear does it.
anyways, i fainted after about a minute of this. my friends had heard my screaming, they came running armed with sticks and rocks and started throwing them at the bear and screaming for help, somebody called 911, bear ran away after a while. i was flown to calgary by helicopter and woke up in the hospital with three fractured ribs, multiple scratches on my arms and legs, including one big nasty scratch on the right side of my stomach and a bunch of bruises. no bites.
like i said, you've never had your shit kicked in unless it's been by a bear, when they were examining the scene, apparently it looked like the bear had tossed me twenty feet away a few times, and there were freshly broken tree branches ten feet up.
and they never caught the motherfucker that did it. a lot of the scars faded after a while, especially the ones on my legs, but i still have a few on my arms and the one on my stomach is still pretty visible.
"K-Rob, i love you, i really do, now im only saying this because i want to be in your sig, i dont really love you, yes i do! Oh shit this is too long to get entered into your sig now, shitballs." - SKIDUBAIGUY
"we can definitely slow down our damage to the environment and eventually stop it." - drew.