The religious guys outside sporting events...

.SteezusChrist.

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These guys are the best. They think people care. Tonight I was at McDonald's outside Fenway in Boston and this guy comes in with signs on him. It was like a city burning. I was with my girlfriend and 2 other guys. Only one friend and I talked to him.

You can have a lot of fun with these guys. Our conversation went like this:

Me: Yo dude, what's up?
Religious Freak: Hello.
Friend: What's that on the sign?
RF: It shows how Jesus will save us from eternity.
Friend (Points to some guy burning): What's that?
RF: Somebody who is not being saved. He is going to hell.
Me: What kind of people burn?
RF: Jehovas Witnesses always do.
Me: Do you have a bible on you?
RF: Yes, only the New Testament though.
Me: Can we show you a verse?
RF: Sure.

We proceed to tell him about this verse, which he has no clue about.

Me: You don't know the bible!?!? I think you read the Book of Mormon instead of the real bible!
RF: The Book of Mormon was written by the devil! (He lists some random guy and calls him the devil because he is mormon)
Me: I have Mormon friends.
RF: Tell them they are going to burn in Hell unless they convert.
Friend: (Pretending to agree with the guy) Yeah, the damn Mormons!
RF: Well, I have some things for you. (He pulls out all these papers)
Me: Can I ski in heaven?
RF: I don't really know, I haven't gone yet.
Me: Is there some epic pow pow in heaven?
RF: Whatever that is, it's not in hell.
Me: I know people that need you.
RF: Who?
Me: Tanner Hall. This one time, he was going to Chad's Gap, but not from the bottom of Alta. He managed to get there without MFM fucking him up. When he got there, he built the jump, but the snow was slushy. He hit it switch and fell. He was shouting, "Broke, my ankles are broke! Fuck! Ahhhh!" Then the camera man said "His ankles are broken!" Ski patrol came and blew it up.
RF: So how does he need me?
Me: He can't find Chad or his gap.
RF: OK, well I need to go, thanks for talking to me. Most people think I'm a total cookoo and don't want to talk to me.

At this point we can't even hold in the laughter.

We all start telling him he is perfectly normal and special.

Sorry for the pointless post, but we had an hour to kill and I am bored tonight, so if you see those guys, just talk to them, you can have some fun.

Aug 13 2008 1:32AM

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THEDICKBUTCHER

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hahaha i bet he got all fucking confused when you started talking about t-hall. Thats great.

Aug 13 2008 1:47AM

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purplejumpsuit

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I love the tanner hall bit, good stuff.

Aug 13 2008 1:51AM

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doublexl

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how am i going to get those two minutes of my life back?

that was so fucking stupid. you could have come up with 1000000 better things to say.

Aug 13 2008 1:56AM

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mellifluous

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Insane

hahahaha yeah the tanner hall part was the best

Aug 13 2008 11:09AM

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bradcoffey

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Ridiculous

in boston some of those guys hand out little religious comic book clip booklets..its funny

Aug 13 2008 11:37AM

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Ryno

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Basement Dweller

a video would have helped :P

Aug 13 2008 11:45AM

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jedi.Jim

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Insane

That was a great post.

Aug 13 2008 12:05PM

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steve.o

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Ridiculous

im sorry but i really truly hate religion and religious people!!!!!! religion is another name for a cult, and religious people are fucking creepy and its the downfall of humanity.......

Aug 13 2008 5:36PM

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[~_~]

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@th1337

Aug 13 2008 5:37PM

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babujib

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No Life

so your saying your a nihilists

Aug 13 2008 5:41PM

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[~_~]

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@th1337

yes, he is a nihilists

Aug 13 2008 5:45PM

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babujib

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No Life

truthfully i just thought that was a word metalocalyps made up but i was wrong

Aug 13 2008 5:47PM

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k-rob

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Crazy Fool

the downfall of humanity began as soon as we saw ourselves a being more important than every other living thing. that's all i have to say.

Aug 13 2008 5:47PM

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babujib

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No Life

thats how the dinosaurs died

Aug 13 2008 5:49PM

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Drew.C

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i would tell him im like a buddist and that he is going to hell and he should convert thatd be so funny

Aug 13 2008 11:05PM

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Aerozol

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Insane

Hating religion doesn't make you a nihilist
.

ni·hil·ism

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Audio Help /ˈnaɪ

əˌlɪz

əm, ˈni-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[nahy-uh-liz-uh

m, nee-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun 1. total rejection of established laws and institutions. 2. anarchy, terrorism, or other revolutionary activity. 3. total and absolute destructiveness, esp. toward the world at large and including oneself: the power-mad nihilism that marked Hitler's last years. 4. Philosophy. a. an extreme form of skepticism: the denial of all real existence or the possibility of an objective basis for truth. b. nothingness or nonexistence. 5. (sometimes initial capital letter

) the principles of a Russian revolutionary group, active in the latter half of the 19th century, holding that existing social and political institutions must be destroyed in order to clear the way for a new state of society and employing extreme measures, including terrorism and assassination. 6. annihilation of the self, or the individual consciousness, esp. as an aspect of mystical experience.

Aug 13 2008 11:08PM

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