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March, 2024

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Why America is #1

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pmills
Posts: 7162 - Karma: 59
America's message to the rest of the world: "I'M THE GREATEST FUCKER HERE!!!! AND YOU SNIVELING SHITS WOULD DIE WITHOUT ME!!!"



Words of wisdom.

Jun 2 2008 7:40PM
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speedy29
Posts: 868 - Karma: 10
Wow lewis black we should just make him pres and carlos mencia for vice prez
Jun 2 2008 7:43PM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13042 - Karma: 18,256
hahaha that first part of the rant is awesome and so true
Jun 2 2008 8:00PM
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Mr_Papageorgio
Posts: 1271 - Karma: 117
carlos mencia blows.
Jun 2 2008 8:00PM
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natedogg789435
Posts: 1177 - Karma: 9
lol so great and true
Jun 2 2008 8:32PM
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Campeador
Posts: 7516 - Karma: -1,227
yea I sat through one of his new shows, just not funny.
Jun 2 2008 8:36PM
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Ryno
Posts: 31125 - Karma: 336
"What the fuck is in the carton?"

hahahahahaha....$$$
Jun 2 2008 8:38PM
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laxstar
Posts: 1051 - Karma: 11

mencia is a joke stealing whore....

Jun 2 2008 9:48PM
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smooticus
Posts: 1798 - Karma: 27
Hey fuck you, this is america, love it or leave it. 
Jun 2 2008 9:56PM
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Mezmerize19
Posts: 6475 - Karma: 18
"get it away from my milk! Its talking to it and making it feel bad about itself!"
Jun 2 2008 9:58PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
its a free country, he is free to leave, if he hates America so bad..... but i bet he will come crying back here, when he realizes WE ARE THE BEST! 
Jun 2 2008 10:00PM
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speedy29
Posts: 868 - Karma: 10
He's a comedian you really shouldn't take him seriously. Sometimes hes funny sometimes hes not I find that milk rant alittle to similar to the old egg rant he my be joke stealing. One of these days hes going to get so mad hes going to have a stroke on stage.
Jun 2 2008 10:07PM
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Manlenium
Posts: 571 - Karma: 11
The best at being number one on the worlds hit list.

I love how americans buy "canada kits" to travel because they are #1 targets for theft and murder.
Jun 3 2008 1:16AM
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speedy29
Posts: 868 - Karma: 10
Canada kits are those backpacks
If so I'm totally sewing a Canadian flag on my backpack this summer when I go to europe
Jun 3 2008 2:18AM
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thecounty
Posts: 1450 - Karma: 290
full blooded american right there
Jun 3 2008 2:20AM
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landonn
Posts: 2913 - Karma: 385
shits fuckin funny.
Jun 3 2008 2:36AM
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morocco_mole
Posts: 635 - Karma: 17
so true...
Jun 3 2008 2:45AM
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Manlenium
Posts: 571 - Karma: 11
Thats why i have a maple leaf tattoo. I can prove im Canadian so my alcohol doesnt get pissed and spat in......It happens. 
Jun 3 2008 3:06AM
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Ryno
Posts: 31125 - Karma: 336
Great...you shit all over your reputation, now you're going to shit on ours :P
Jun 3 2008 11:10AM
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chimp
Posts: 616 - Karma: 116
anyone who like carlos mencia should be shot
Jun 3 2008 11:25AM
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skipimp_
Posts: 5700 - Karma: 113
Yup.


and hes not even funny.
Jun 3 2008 12:44PM
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fillup
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 568
lewis black is fuckng awsome

but carlos mencia is sooo fucking dumb, he isnt funny, he isnt smart, all he knows how to do is make fun of people and its getting fucking old, sometimes i laught but its never with him
Jun 3 2008 12:51PM
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beer.
Posts: 3096 - Karma: 44
I am pretty sure mencia would be much more successful doing a gameshow where the prize is a free punch to his ugly mug, I know I would watch it and pray to be on it
Jun 3 2008 1:45PM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
I fucking love Lewis Black, his political rage is so therapeutic.
Jun 3 2008 1:54PM
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speedy29
Posts: 868 - Karma: 10
wow guys you should know that just about every comedian borrows others material. Just because Joe Rogan says hes the only one doesn't mean its true
Jun 3 2008 3:39PM
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ax_murderer
Posts: 3322 - Karma: 30
thefts and murder? obviously, because on average we have more wealth then other countries. why would you rob a poor as fuck canuck?

as for the hitlist, as far as im concerned most countries recieve aid, or have recieved plenty of aid from us and just bitch in jealousy
Jun 3 2008 3:44PM
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TomasAa
Posts: 585 - Karma: 699

Best place to live in the world

  1. Norway
  2. Australia
  3. Canada
  4. Sweden
  5. Belgium
  6. United States
  7. Iceland
  8. Netherlands
  9. Japan
  10. Finland
  11. Switzerland
  12. Luxembourg
  13. France
  14. UK
  15. Denmark
  16. Austria
  17. Germany
  18. Ireland
  19. New Zealand
  20. Italy

YEAH NORWAY!!!

source: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/07/10/so_whats_the_best_country/

Jun 3 2008 3:50PM
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speedy29
Posts: 868 - Karma: 10
Screw that the only one who should be above U.S. is Australia. I would most definatly not want to live in Canada
Jun 3 2008 4:10PM
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VT_FLO
Posts: 3806 - Karma: 147
yeah
Jun 3 2008 4:18PM
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comeatmebro
Posts: 10720 - Karma: 66
hahahahahahaha hell yeah! lewis black is one of my favorite comedians.
Jun 3 2008 4:38PM
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kepler.
Posts: 8761 - Karma: 139
Doesn't Australia have the highest concentration of venomous animals on the planet. Sorry but I couldn't handle that.
Jun 3 2008 5:55PM
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pmills
Posts: 7162 - Karma: 59
I'm still trying to figure out how being a world traveler equates to hating America...
Jun 3 2008 6:10PM
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smooticus
Posts: 1798 - Karma: 27
^ i agree. I think its funny how people always say that canada is better becuase they have free healthcare, hate to break it to you, free healthcare is a nice idea,  but shit aint free. The fact is that the majority of people that need free healthcare are illegal and or junkies and obviously they do not pay taxes.  So its a hard system to design. Thats why its taking the US so long.

Oh yea, considering all 3 of the presidential candidates are pro universal healthcare, we will probably be getting it in the next couple years,

And canada sucks dick.
Jun 3 2008 6:46PM
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pmills
Posts: 7162 - Karma: 59
skiminnesota seemed to be  implying that lewis black hates America because he's gone to other countries and liked (bits of) them more than America.



Jun 3 2008 7:59PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
i didnt see all of it, when he started droping the F bomb, and my 6 year old sister was in the room, i made a judgment call to turn it off...

so if he at least gives America credit for all the good we have done in the world, then i would go back and rephrase my post... otherwise im sticking to my guns :)


o, and im talking the best on the Grand scheme of things....
Jun 3 2008 11:17PM
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pmills
Posts: 7162 - Karma: 59
http://www.google.com/products?hl=en&rlz=&q=headphones&um=1&ie=UTF-8

if you're can't ever find a moment to play the sound bite in privacy...


or here [spoiler alert, contains profanity], here is the transcript:


The most important part of travel, is when you come home. Because, that's when you see your country with new eyes. I was amazed to realize that we're - we're the only country that - that tells the rest of the world, on a nearly constant basis, that we're the greatest country on Earth. And that is a little fuckin' obnoxious! And they know it's obnoxious. Because, if you were in an office, and there was someone there, who came in every day and said; "I'm the greatest fucker here! And you snivelling shits would die without me! AHAHAHAHA!" I can guarantee that by the end of the week, you'd have killed him! And eaten him, just to try to possess his power!
I
t amazes me that there are people that have never left this country, who talk about the fact that we're the greatest country on Earth. How fucking dumb is that? Because you don't know. You don't know. There may be countries that are giving shit away, every day! Canada is one of those countries. You know what they give away? HEALTH INSURANCE!


Jun 4 2008 12:15AM
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Manlenium
Posts: 571 - Karma: 11
I hope you get shanked by a 12 yr old while shopping for krispy kreams.
Jun 4 2008 12:52AM
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ax_murderer
Posts: 3322 - Karma: 30
eh! same for you budday, watch your back at tim hortons tommorow morn
Jun 4 2008 1:54AM
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josh.
Posts: 3469 - Karma: 42
why not?
Jun 4 2008 2:28AM
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speedy29
Posts: 868 - Karma: 10
no offence but to me Canada sucks were as in Austrailia you can surf and a ton of hot girls. Canada does have skiing which is very good but its all you got
Jun 4 2008 2:36AM
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josh.
Posts: 3469 - Karma: 42
1.we do have surfing 2.you cant ski in australia 3.we dont have all the deadly animals 4. we dont have alot of ugly girls just not alot of hot ones but still.
Jun 4 2008 2:42AM
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speedy29
Posts: 868 - Karma: 10
I fucking hate when water is cold year round plus australia has the best surfing. I know you cant ski in aus but you can fly to snow not as easy as in canada but still. I know canadian girls arent ugly but aus has really good looking girls
Jun 4 2008 3:01AM
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freestyler540
Posts: 13042 - Karma: 18,256
Oh, such cheap hate (-karma)
Jun 4 2008 12:53PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
orly, they give you stuff, cool.  i want to get stuff from the government, that sounds awesome... i definitly cant do anything on my own, so i need the government to "give me stuff"....

wow, i really want some of that free stuff like health care, after all we know it is free.... pause..... NOT!!!!!!
Jun 4 2008 4:41PM
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BMB
Posts: 3138 - Karma: 232
funny stuff right there.
Jun 4 2008 4:48PM
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Wis_Skier_23
Posts: 2263 - Karma: 245
Amen to that...either live here and stop complaining, or get out and live somewhere else if its so great....Im not saying that America is the shit over everything else but i just get tired of hearing people piss and moan about how America sucks
Jun 4 2008 5:01PM
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speedy29
Posts: 868 - Karma: 10
Why they don't have shit teeth like some other english speaking countries. The accent is a turn on. Unless your trying to say all good looking Aus girls are dumb as a rock.

Oh don't take things so literally to me living in Canada compared to the U.S. would suck I'm not saying I hate Canada or all the girls are ugly i've been to Canada I have family there its a nice place but I would have to say Americas a nicer place to live.
Jun 4 2008 5:31PM
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twin-tip-hero
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 277
we are a pritty dope country, but when it comes to soccer HOLY SHIT WE SUCK!
Jun 4 2008 7:19PM
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Waffle11
Posts: 481 - Karma: 16
Click for larger image
Jun 4 2008 7:24PM
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speedy29
Posts: 868 - Karma: 10
to me I like the mountian almost as much as I like the beach so its in my opinion that aus>Canada and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else other than the U.S.
But there a lot worse places to live than Canada

I've been to about every first world country and can honestly say that the U.S. can improve some things like education and not being so fucking fat but overall I see America as being the best country in the world.
Jun 4 2008 7:32PM
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