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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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notspoicey
Posts: 1167 - Karma: 1,706
-on the lift-
Me: is the park open yet
Friend: yea
Gaper dad: I don't think you're allowed!!!!! I will ask the lift operator


Hahahahahahaha
Jan 5 2014 11:45PM
6 1
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NEPTR
Posts: 766 - Karma: 1,936
gaper: mom can we go in my forehead is cold

mom looks at me and asks if my calves cramp in ski boots then proceeds to say that they drove from texas and that her thunder calvs don't fit in ski boots as her daughter is still complaining about her cold forehead
Jan 6 2014 12:05AM
9 1
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Espen519
Posts: 552 - Karma: 969
its just part of the struggle
Jan 6 2014 12:07AM
2 0
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BabyRoy
Posts: 227 - Karma: 1,190
"Did you see that guy he went off the jump backwards"
Jan 6 2014 11:22AM
1 1
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
Wow I can only imagine the gaper gap that allowed that to happen.
Jan 6 2014 1:19PM
16 0
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brandonloos_21
Posts: 395 - Karma: 2,695
"I hit the downhill rail today"

[IMG]<a href="http://en.bloggif.com/" title="Photo Editing"><img src="http://data.bloggif.com/distant/user/store/9/f/e/8/bd344ed034db82ec553c1bbca8898ef9.gif" alt="Mounting created Bloggif" width="250" height="142" /></a>[/IMG]
Jan 6 2014 2:56PM
0 1
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powerbong2000
Posts: 737 - Karma: 1,802
"these GODDAMN BINNNNNNNDERS!!!!" kid screaming at his rental skis unable to figure out how to step into the "binders"
Jan 6 2014 3:33PM
9 1
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starvin_marvin
Posts: 233 - Karma: 533
look at the size of that ramp
Jan 6 2014 9:48PM
0 1
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perryhunter
Posts: 721 - Karma: -185
Someone also asked me about that. And I said Yes, I'm looking for a real bloopers! :)
Jan 6 2014 9:58PM
0 0
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profa_212
Posts: 8625 - Karma: 32,384
They are called binders in Europe I believe and I regularly hear them called that in the US.
Jan 6 2014 10:02PM
0 1
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cp_7
Posts: 372 - Karma: 1,301
last week i was skiing with my school ski club and there is a really annoying gaper kid who walks like he is hot shit because he goes through the park pizza. I was in the park last week and he was skiing by and stopped when he saw me. He looked down and my skis and goes "Wow! Your skies are double headed! Is it hard to ski turned around?"
Jan 22 2014 8:19AM
0 4
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skibumb2929
Posts: 1119 - Karma: 1,474
are you sponsored by jiberish
Jan 22 2014 9:07AM
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GANGBANG420
Posts: 263 - Karma: 879
Quality contribution sir
Jan 29 2014 12:45AM
19 0
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S.J.W
Posts: 7609 - Karma: 31,182
So I ski at perisher in Australia in the winter, and my god there is so many gapers, anyways i was catching a lift up getting from blue cow back over to front valley and these two kids were talking about their ski lesson and how better they are than everyone else saying shit like,

"yeah i just bomb the green runs when we do them and just stop at the end"
"so many people in my group can't even parallel turn"
"i got some sweet air doing an ollie on that last run"

and others from snowboard gapers

while i was in the life line for the park a dude looked at my skis and was like to his buddies woah that guy has powder skis, i tried to explain to them that they were only 91 under foot and fully chamber, nevertheless they didn't understand a thing i was saying, then they were in the park smoking a blunt and knuckling it on 20 foot jumps...

another was when riding a T with some old dude he said that snowboarders shouldn't be allowed on the mountain because they bring a negative attitude and rutt out the T-bars
Jan 29 2014 1:00AM
1 1
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BMB
Posts: 3138 - Karma: 232
Sitting on a chairlift. Listening to two girls talk to their Mom about skiing through the 'park'. Girl had to slow down approaching a jump because someone fell hitting it before her. Guy rides up behind her, "Watch where you're going Little Girl" Girl, "Oh I was soooooo mad!" She actually did the right thing so that makes the boarder who came up behind her the gaper ;)
Jan 29 2014 8:04AM
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Hughes
Posts: 1023 - Karma: 940
No they're not...
Jan 29 2014 3:27PM
2 2
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Mag
Posts: 8155 - Karma: 14,809
Yeah I see them called that a lot on non English European sites, presumably a translation thing.
Jan 29 2014 3:40PM
0 0
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nygahater
Posts: 1 - Karma: 10
"My dad said he used to be able to helicopter!"
Jan 29 2014 3:45PM
2 4
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
Did a trucker slide on a rail. This little kid asks me "r u Henrik arlo?"
Jan 29 2014 3:53PM
16 1
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GetOnMyNeville
Posts: 63 - Karma: 184

"It's way easier to walk down the stairs backwards guys"

I'm sure it's already been said in 1 of 90 pages of this thread but we've all seen it a million times & it never fails to make me laugh.

Jan 29 2014 4:28PM
2 1
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trueheads
Posts: 83 - Karma: 252
Group of gapers in the 4char behind me was fighting about whether my Line Chronic 2013s were pink or not...
Jan 29 2014 5:58PM
1 1
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op14
Posts: 1769 - Karma: 4,586
they dont want to know
Jan 29 2014 7:04PM
1 1
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
A year ago I asked this dude with a Level 1 sticker if he was with Level 1 after he did like a rodeo 5.

At a small mountain in Wisconsin.

Immediately realized my fucking uppage.
Jan 29 2014 10:20PM
13 0
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ATLskier
Posts: 8203 - Karma: 406
haha, about 5 years or so ago, someone asked me if I skied for level 1 since i had a level 1 sticker on my helmet. This was in north carolina, and then, I could only do 5s, so it wasnt like i was any good.
Jan 29 2014 10:47PM
7 0
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milk_man
Posts: 5214 - Karma: 6,494
"Look mom his skis are glowing!" I don't even know how many times people have said the bottoms of my skis are glowing
Jan 29 2014 10:48PM
1 0
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
"Bkchshsbfjcksksjcjejsjxbsjshshxbssjs"
(Foreigners talking about my twin tips, pointing at them)
Jan 30 2014 2:26AM
9 1
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
"I just got the one strap bindings for my snowboard, they are soooooo nice." & "Are you gonna ski some black diamonds today?"
Jan 31 2014 11:44AM
6 0
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ejm
Posts: 794 - Karma: 196
"I like your shoes"
Feb 1 2014 3:56PM
0 0
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
I love how he says "Don't go" when the skier is already in the air.
Feb 2 2014 1:19AM
1 0
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WillyTheKid
Posts: 106 - Karma: 639
I saw THall at Copper and was chatting with him when some racer kid came up and and loudly asked if he's Tanner Klein. hilarious.
Feb 2 2014 4:56PM
2 0
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
I was being followed by this mega gaper today, he'd chat me up at the top of each run, I wasn't annoyed at all and some of the things he said were precious:

He had race skis on and said "my dad bought me the wrong pair of skis, what kind of skis should I get? I'm thinking about twin tippers"

The brake on my ski got bent back really badly from landing switch and I had to walk down the hill, I even did a little boot skiing.... He said "Woah! I didn't know you could ski on boots, I thought only pros could to that! You're really good."

Then he followed that up with
"What happened to your ski?"
Me: "The brake broke."
"Are you going to get new skis?"
Me: (bend the brake back into place)
Feb 3 2014 1:09AM
5 0
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stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
heard a sw cork seven get called a "backflip backflip 600" yesterday by some joey boarder
Feb 3 2014 1:21AM
20 0
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Theskiingguy
Posts: 476 - Karma: 2,514
Talking to a friends friend, he found out I skied and he goes "So, are you a black diamond skier?"...
I was just kinda like "Uhm, what do you mean?"
"You know, ski black diamonds?"
"Ohh *weird fake laugh* yeah, I can"
Him "That's cool! I can ski backwards!"
I just laugh, and he goes "No really, I can!" thinking that I thought skiers couldn't ski backwards?
and I just responded, "Yeah, I know.. I believe you, most people can"

This continues to go on for a while, but yeah... funny stuff
Feb 3 2014 1:44AM
3 0
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Park_Mho
Posts: 351 - Karma: 390
*waiting on the lift line with my line chronics

Gaper:"I like your skis.... they're really orange..."

Me:*ignores him*

Gaper dad: "Huh you betcha'!those are some darn orange skis!!!!"

Gaper mom: "Hey, are those some special glow in the dark skis? Can they do something cool?"


Me:* sighs and finally gets on lift*
Feb 5 2014 3:27PM
1 18
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stupendous-man
Posts: 8637 - Karma: 13,293
You sound like a douche
Feb 5 2014 5:04PM
33 0
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NEPTR
Posts: 766 - Karma: 1,936
"my calves hurt from these stupid boots, and there even three sizes too big"

"let me cover up your forehead so it docent get cold"

little girl wearing motorcycle helmet " dad i cant lift my head anymore"


Feb 5 2014 5:09PM
17 0
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theabortionator
Posts: 51260 - Karma: 157,382
So is that called a 100?

Taking about a boardlide verses a 50/50
Feb 5 2014 5:49PM
1 0
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Lemuel
Posts: 14477 - Karma: 10,515
Docent
Feb 5 2014 7:29PM
10 0
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TomDavies
Posts: 788 - Karma: 5,295
i was  on the lift and these two kids looked down at the halfpipe and were like "look!, the tube is open!!
Feb 5 2014 7:31PM
4 0
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JahLiam
Posts: 2321 - Karma: 7,823
Heard some dad yell to his little daughter today "is your forehead still cold?"
Feb 5 2014 7:59PM
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mski
Posts: 4791 - Karma: 3,803

On the chairlift with random gaper, we didn't speak till about 3 minutes up the lift. He pointed to my hands and commented, " Why are you skiing without poles? Is that so you can smoke weed?"

Feb 5 2014 8:10PM
42 0
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Deforestation
Posts: 1606 - Karma: 3,192
Dude wearing glasses asked what kind of eye sheild I had (referring to goggles)
Reporter on tv at some resort trying to explain what a ski lift does (clearly had never been to a mountain)
Feb 5 2014 9:43PM
0 0
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DGski
Posts: 3491 - Karma: 2,328
I'm waiting for the punch line ..
Feb 6 2014 7:39AM
7 0
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
"I don't understand all the hate for Shaun White, he represents snowboarding better than anybody else, anyone who hates him is dumb and a hipster." - snowboarder in neff
Feb 6 2014 9:39AM
14 0
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sammiddendorf
Posts: 24 - Karma: 17
gaper: "do a whirly bird"
Feb 6 2014 10:17AM
0 1
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
"There's no point in the Winter Olympics, unless you're gonna watch Shaun White I guess" --friend at my lunch table.
Feb 6 2014 6:45PM
10 0
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Substitute
Posts: 1375 - Karma: 2,270
*ex friend
Feb 6 2014 7:56PM
10 0
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WaffleMaster
Posts: 661 - Karma: 5,565
Being in SE Wisconsin, I'm sure many people would say the same. Lonely wafflemaster...
Feb 7 2014 12:45AM
0 0
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John18_6
Posts: 7313 - Karma: 49,158
Riding a chair, saw a cork 7 blunt and this gaper dad I was riding with said "busting out the Dinner roll!" I gave him a high five for getting the trick name right, despite it being old terminology. Guess he wasn't so gaper after all.
Feb 7 2014 11:42AM
13 0
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aroge
Posts: 19 - Karma: 32
The other week I was asked: "So do you always use double-ended skis?"
Feb 7 2014 12:18PM
0 0
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