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March, 2024

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The best gaper quotes

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RICK_ROSS
Posts: 6983 - Karma: 3,342
somebody on the chairlift yesterday asked me what they did with the moguls at the end of the year?
i also gotten "what altitude do the dear turn to elk?"
Mar 10 2008 7:33PM
2709 528
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
this one time i unclipped my friend's snowboard in the lift line. then tackled him.

Mar 28 2011 9:23PM
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monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
ur a major dick if u did and everyone here knows u are lieng!
Mar 28 2011 9:27PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15078 - Karma: 9,132
thiss wun tyme a gappur aksed me if cud bakflip, and than i killd him
Mar 28 2011 9:29PM
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spkillah
Posts: 515 - Karma: 86
i am a dick, get at me
Mar 28 2011 9:34PM
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RZcrew
Posts: 366 - Karma: 2,209
today i was droping in to a jump and a random  gaper cuts me off. i see at the bottom and i asked whyd u cut me off, and he replies with where? then i say at the top and he says  no i never!!
Mar 28 2011 10:16PM
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Project97x
Posts: 10 - Karma: 10
We all gotta respect the racers guys. Them and Us combined pretty much saved skiing. I actually was a racer from 10 years all the way till I graduated High School. It was a blast and I definitely became a pretty kick ass skier because of racing. I was helpless in the park until this past year, but now I can throw 5s, backflips and the occasional seven when I'm not sucking.
Mar 28 2011 10:19PM
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array.
Posts: 2439 - Karma: 202
"why are your clothes so big?"
Mar 29 2011 1:04AM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 11992 - Karma: 9,212
i guess I cannot prove to you it did happen.
Mar 29 2011 5:41AM
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sammy_
Posts: 1597 - Karma: 467
i get this a lot just for being a girl in guys outerwear. i get bad looks from some old people occasionally and then obviously the gapers always ask.
Mar 29 2011 11:41AM
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come_at_me_bro
Posts: 494 - Karma: 19
I got my first gaper quote yesterday!

I was riding down from the lift to my car which was parked right next to the lift, and I barely tapped this guys boots with my tail, who was wearing a beanie with sunglasses over it.

Me: Sorry that was an accident

Dumbass: Are yo aware that it is illegal to ski in the parking lot?

Me: no, my car is right there

Dumbass: You can get fined and taken to court for that, do you want to go ask ski patrol?

Me: are you being serious?

Dumbass: Also what you just did right there could be viewed as battery and assault. I could call the police...

I probably shouldn't have but i burst out laughing at that point and skied away
Mar 29 2011 11:56AM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
do you always dress like that?
no.
Did you go to a ghetto themed party?
no.
well, then, why are you dressed like that?
skiing.
then they get this confused look...
Mar 29 2011 12:59PM
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Earl_C_the_9th
Posts: 67 - Karma: 111
haha same to me. they always ask me: do u want to rob a bank?

another thing.

a 5 year old boy once asked his mother why i am wearing a skirt.
Mar 29 2011 1:35PM
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Bundo
Posts: 2197 - Karma: 49
if one could quote pretty much this entire thread, that would be a good one. Hopefully this has already been said though.
Mar 29 2011 1:41PM
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OurSlenderFriend
Posts: 124 - Karma: 10
Not much of a gaper quote, more of a gaper action

So I was skiing alone and using the singles line for a mid-mountain lift to get into the park (the park was on the other side of the mountain, this lift went to the top). The line was on the outermost side of the lift, all the way to the left of the entrance. Next to the line was a steep incline full of powder. I overheard some kids talking about skiing past the line to cut right through. This was a saturday, and saturdays at my local mountain are a mob scene. No way was I gonna let them through. I overheard them talking about the park as well; they were going solely to watch. As one of them skid(skiid?) past, I put the grip of my pole to his shoulder and pushed him down the 3-foot drop through the powder. He proceeded to whine like a bitch about snow down his back (middle of winter, deal with it) and I got on the lift and proceeded to the park.
Okay that sounds meaner than it actually was.
Mar 29 2011 2:32PM
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Kimbo~Slice
Posts: 522 - Karma: 194
Firm, but fair.
Mar 29 2011 3:11PM
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Bi-ShredinalGuy
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 321
skiing in the spring? isnt it really icy?!
Mar 29 2011 7:03PM
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SensayMaster
Posts: 435 - Karma: 23
"that is the gayest shit ive seen anyone do. heres some advice just quit..." -Bmoxham

Mar 29 2011 7:04PM
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bob.gnarnly
Posts: 12 - Karma: 10
:are you good at skiing
me: yes
:can you do a helicopter
me: what the fuck is  a helicopter you dumbfuck
Mar 29 2011 7:21PM
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monkatizer
Posts: 4704 - Karma: 1,518
so last year i went skiing in april and it was the last day open so i post that as my facebook status and some kid comments:

kid: "is all the snow artifical?"
me: "artifical?? u mean man made, its still real, just formed differently"
kid: "ok? i guess, but didnt they have to turn on the shooters? all the snow has been gone for a month"
me: "its 70 degress today the snowguns cant make sno in that weather, and they stop making snow in febuary!"
kid: "then how is there still snow!? haha ur such a liar, i bet u didnt go skiing, u just want attention!"
me: *no response laughing like crazy*

Mar 29 2011 7:23PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Ahhhhh, my brain...
Mar 30 2011 12:21AM
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Oreos
Posts: 1207 - Karma: 38
Kid walks into our shop, looks up at the snowboards and exclaims "arrr cool skateboards".

Big Hawaiian guy was cruising around the same shop, asked about the swallow tail snowboard, I told him about it. The next thing the say says "hey my friend, you seem to know a lot about snowboards. Do I need special boots to go snowboarding. I was going to use these" he says as he points to his steel toe-capped leather work boots. sighhh.

Also had "how do they make moguls" the other day, they call them classics for a reason.
Mar 30 2011 11:41AM
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SickNameHere
Posts: 113 - Karma: 14
My hill actually made moguls this year. I almost died laughing when I skied the run.
Apr 2 2011 7:11PM
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Crispy.
Posts: 6102 - Karma: 7,626
I was talking to my friend on the lift today and I said "the only thing i like about snowboarding is that you don't get shinbang". Some 45 year old snowboarder says "I can argue that my shins are scabbed through the snowpants from hitting my shins on rails." I then said "Oh thats what shin bang is" haha
Apr 2 2011 7:13PM
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CousinEddie
Posts: 633 - Karma: 215
bam
Apr 2 2011 8:16PM
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ben-jam-in
Posts: 97 - Karma: 628

gapper:so thoes are the those twin tips right?

me:sure are!

gapper:what are they for?

me:to do tricks land backwards

gapper: wait... you can go backwards?

me: haha yep

gapper:how do you get backwards?

me: um do a 180 (trying to say it as easy as possible!)

gapper: how do you get back forward?

me:.....

Apr 2 2011 8:57PM
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BIGben*
Posts: 1942 - Karma: 8
Gaper: wow what is are those skis made of? Me (wearing abangs):wood Gaper: (laughs withhis friends) those must be old and heavy mine are made of composite. Me:ok good for you... Gaper: did tou draw on them yourself Me:no... And ther for park, the wood is for durability. Gaper: i do park to (sais he in his ski-doo kit with parabolic skis) Me: really Later, he cuts me off on a rail and does the litle kicker on the side of it and falls...
Apr 2 2011 9:23PM
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THUGwife
Posts: 1909 - Karma: 301
'you look like the taliban'
Apr 11 2011 12:12PM
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Yinzer
Posts: 1011 - Karma: 73
Somebody asked some dragon ball z question when I was wearin my new saga tee. I wasn't paying attention
Apr 11 2011 2:07PM
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marlon-d
Posts: 33 - Karma: 9
was at my local park on saturday (snapped my ski). and i heard a kid and his dad talkin.

dad: did you go in the tube?
kid: what?
dad: oh umm they cal it a tunnel i think! you know (makes a curved hand movement)
kid: ooooh ummmm. the halfpipe?
dad: yeah!
kid: no its to big.

(this was the mini halfpipe.) i though of this thread right away after hearing it.
Apr 11 2011 7:11PM
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Turnup_swiperigh
Posts: 990 - Karma: 108
So i made a small edit from a pow day out in aspen and this gaper from my school asked my why i didnt do any tricks in the edit.
Apr 11 2011 7:28PM
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Broseph_Stalin
Posts: 3745 - Karma: 177
gaper: hi
me: hey
gaper: do you freestyle ski
me: yeah
gaper: o sweet
me: yeah you should try it. it is fun
gaper: ok ill see


the end
Apr 11 2011 9:05PM
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marlon-d
Posts: 33 - Karma: 9
AW MAAAN! ToTaL GaP3R Br0!
Apr 11 2011 10:59PM
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2s0r7
Posts: 172 - Karma: 10
My brothers friend who is a snowboarder and wears ll bean clothes.... "no guys snowboarding is so much harder. 180s are so much harder on a snowboard, so is a wirly bird and rails because you have only one! Trust me guys i know i skied til i was FIVE then switched bevause snowboarding is sooo much cooler." i didnt even know how to reply
Apr 12 2011 12:33PM
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2s0r7
Posts: 172 - Karma: 10
My best friend who is a gaper over facebook "what the hell hes not pro?!?! (talking about tom wallisch in a video i showed her.) like what is with his clothes. Can he even ski with them so low??" i honestly called her and told her we couldnt be friends anymore.
Apr 12 2011 12:37PM
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2s0r7
Posts: 172 - Karma: 10
Sorry i have one more. My dad "no why do you always hang out in the park. When you can shred up the moguls then i will consider you a good skier. I bet those skiers cant do moguls." me "dad i can" and i show him dumonts quarter pipe record because it was the quickest thing i could think to show him. Dad "no hes ok i guess since he can do that but still he cant do moguls. I can do moguls and helocopters. I was always the king of helicopters!!!" me "cool". You might not find this funny but i thought it was hilarious
Apr 12 2011 12:54PM
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Kimbo~Slice
Posts: 522 - Karma: 194
Trip post just to get started. All about making a bang on newschoolers.
Apr 12 2011 4:05PM
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e.wait
Posts: 869 - Karma: 1,954
He's kinda right about the moguls thing. There is definitely an art to them, but whether or not you can ski them doesn't make you good or bad though haha.
Apr 12 2011 9:54PM
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Kimbo~Slice
Posts: 522 - Karma: 194
Ahmet Dadali does a "zipper line" in the credits in eye trip
Apr 13 2011 12:54PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
if you can ski moguls, it will infinitely help every aspect of your skiing.

Apr 13 2011 1:34PM
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2s0r7
Posts: 172 - Karma: 10
I 100% agree
Apr 13 2011 3:40PM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
This is awkward because this is a quote from a NS member, but he's newer to freeskiing and I've handled most of his gear related stuff up until this point. We were at the shop looking at skis, he's talking about how the afterbangs are probably bomb proof because of the skate deck construction. I told him they're not that burly and I've heard of some people breaking them. Then he yells "BUT THEY'RE MADE LIKE A SKATEBOARD!!!"
Apr 13 2011 4:34PM
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skiingblowsme
Posts: 664 - Karma: 100
So i was on the lift with my gaper friend and hes asked me why i wear big shirts and hoodies and i told him because they keed yo legs warm And he asked how so i told him cuz im a champ
Apr 13 2011 8:01PM
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Jimmy.
Posts: 2888 - Karma: 27
hahahahahahahh
Apr 13 2011 8:04PM
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OurSlenderFriend
Posts: 124 - Karma: 10
winner.
Apr 13 2011 10:08PM
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SweatyBallShack
Posts: 2857 - Karma: 58
These might sound like BS, but you have to remember, I ski in North Carolina.

"Be sure to always lean back and use your sticks to stop."

(examining the lift from the line) "oh good, this one has seat belts on it."

I've also had to pick people up off the ground in the lift house so they don't have to stop the quad, because it stalls out nearly every time they have to.

Oh god but my favorite moment that I've ever spent on hill was when I saw an asian family trying to get on a pretty fast moving fixed chair. They weren't expecting it to be so low when it came around to them, and they literally got bucked off the chair and out of the back of the lift house. This was for a double though so they wouldn't have fallen any further if they had fallen inside the lift house. it still made me laugh though
Apr 13 2011 11:46PM
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freestyler_251
Posts: 94 - Karma: 11
Apr 14 2011 8:02PM
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Ebaneezer
Posts: 288 - Karma: 24
"You kids wanna smoke some meth? i've got alot of it."
Apr 14 2011 8:15PM
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jahhhvis
Posts: 94 - Karma: 28

"can you go forwards on those things still?"

Apr 14 2011 8:15PM
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Jabe
Posts: 567 - Karma: 241
 do u even get snow there?
Apr 14 2011 8:21PM
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Kreech
Posts: 4178 - Karma: 3,024
HOLY SHIT IT HAPPENED AGAIN
Apr 14 2011 9:19PM
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