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-----After spending over sixteen million dollars and using over 48 thousand yards of industrial strength strapping tape, we of the Flat Earth Society were able to construct an enormously powerful neurotransmitter that can implant suggestions directly into the brains of the nearby non-Flat Earthers. Having set it up just outside of the Russian Antarctic exploration post (Vostok), we are awaiting word that all three scientists and 174 penguins have been shown the light.
-----Three loyal Flat Earth Society members, during a camping trip to the small African nation of Tunisia, came across a privately-owned 59 minute photo stand in the isolated northernmost corner of the desert country. Employing guerilla warfare techniques learned under Mao Zedong in the early 1920's, they were able to effortlessly seize control of the stand and are now using it to distribute pro-Flat Earth propaganda throughout the West African region.
-----On an unrelated note, we of the Flat Earth Society would like to wish a very happy forty-fifth birthday to Edmund Wilbur, our Vice-President in charge of Public Relations. Happy birthday to you, Wilbur, and to all our other members whose birthdays are also today, but whose importance fails to merit a mention by name.
-----Dilligent Flat Earth Society members under the employ of Delta Airlines undertook a project which will no doubt bring countless numbers of motion-sickness prone individuals into the ranks of our organization. Using only permanent markers and every airsickness bag on planes restricted to west coast travel, they were able to neatly outline the Flat Earth Society mission statement on enough receptacles so as to spread our creed to those of the masses with overly sensitive inner ears.
-----Your dog has joined us.