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March, 2024

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So at my physical tomorrow....

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Leo.
Posts: 508 - Karma: 17

im also getting drug tested, im using my friend's clean piss but am worried about heating it up to the right temperature.....anyone have any tips?

Jan 20 2008 11:16PM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,861
poop in the cup
Jan 20 2008 11:22PM
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ThaLetterM.
Posts: 8609 - Karma: 1,612
bahahahahha
Jan 20 2008 11:22PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
dont do drugs???
but thats being hipocritical on my part
Jan 20 2008 11:23PM
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RJD2
Posts: 3532 - Karma: 921
Why do you have to get drug tested? I've never heard of drug testing being mandatory for school
Jan 20 2008 11:23PM
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theres_ghosts
Posts: 875 - Karma: 13

sir you are the saddest thing i have ever had misfortune to come across.

im pretty sure this is the first and last time this will ever happen but it brings sorrow to me that it is you that has to do it.

Jan 20 2008 11:24PM
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Grove_Street
Posts: 482 - Karma: 15
jea i agree
Jan 20 2008 11:25PM
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crazyfuck
Posts: 5968 - Karma: -7
ok, a physical that includes a drug test is something that requires an explanation...
Jan 20 2008 11:43PM
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Leo.
Posts: 508 - Karma: 17
okay, so my parents found rolling papers on me, and I said i was clean, and the physical was already scheduled, so my mom said theyre testing me there.  and if i fail i cant go to whistler over spring break and im grounded for 3 months, so im sketchin pretty bad
Jan 20 2008 11:46PM
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ride-rider
Posts: 1761 - Karma: 20
did they actually say drug test?  cus my friend had a piss test, to wrestle and it turned out it was just to check to make shure he dident have any undiagnosed sickness.  Because, i may be wrong but to give you a drug test i believe they are required to get a parent signature.  As far as keeping it warm.  Make shure your friend pisses in it like literally right before you go in, and keep in somewhere were it is going to stay warm  like your crotch, sounds weird but your crotch is the warmest part on your body.
Jan 20 2008 11:50PM
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RJD2
Posts: 3532 - Karma: 921
1. Know your rights. Know detection periods for the drugs you are using. For example, alcohol is detectable for 12-24 hours after consumption using a standard EMIT drug test, and can be detected up to five days after usage with an ethyl gluconuride urine test. Cannabis (marijuana) can stay in the system anywhere between 2-3 days to 12 weeks (with 2 weeks being the norm), depending on frequency of use. Methamphetamines are reputed to have a detection period somewhere between 3 and 5 days. Try to take the test as late as possible.

2. Drink plenty of water before the test. This will dilute the urine, making it difficult for the testing service to get reliable results. They might want you to provide them with a new sample, by which time, detectable quantities of the substances might have passed out of the system. You may also go to a store such as GNC, they have drinks there filled with B vitamins, you must also drink about a gallon of water to make sure. This is a definite pass. Beware though, a diluted urine sample is rather like a red flag. They may request another sample but it is possible that as opposed to a simple urine sample they may require a hair or blood sample. This may particularly be the case if you are involved in some type of court ordered drug testing program.

3. Create false positives by taking over the counter medication, e.g Tylenol. This, like in step 2, will interfere with the ability of the testing service to provide accurate results. Do not take more than the recommended daily allowance of Tylenol. This can have very serious effects on your liver and can be fatal, even if you don't feel ill, or notice any symptoms.

4. If you have been doing opiates, tell them you had a poppy seed bagel or two. This can create a false positive for opiates. (Do not actually eat poppy seed bagels)
1. Drink lots (2 gallons) of cranberry juice if you have been doing cocaine and you can get it out of your system in a day.

5. Substitute your urine for some synthetic urine (e.g. Quick Fix or Ultra Pure) and make sure it is the recommended temperature range of 94°-100°F
Jan 20 2008 11:52PM
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Leo.
Posts: 508 - Karma: 17

my parents are making sure it gets drug tested.  and im getting the piss the morning of, and then i was just going to add warm water till it felt warm enough, ik adding water is legit i just dont know how to get the right temp

Jan 20 2008 11:53PM
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crazyfuck
Posts: 5968 - Karma: -7
you're going to keep adding warm water?  do you want to actually pass or just carry around your buddy's piss for shits and giggles?  why the FUCK would you add water?

piss tests will show if there's too much water in your piss and you'll be forced to piss again if that happens.

i'm sorry, i'm not trying to be a complete dick, but this is pretty much standard procedure as far as the experienced stoner is concerned- you always have to be mentally ready in case something goes wrong and you have to drop.  you clearly don't have any idea what you're doing and that leads me to believe that you're both young and into smoking without really knowing anything about it.  that's not a good combo and i'd encourage you to either take the initiative to learn a thing or two about weed or cut back/stop smoking for a bit.  your plan is downright stupid and doomed for failure and that says a lot about the rest of your knowledge about weed.  weed's fun, but it's serrrous shit when it comes to the law, piss tests, and often parents, so you either need to get your shit together and learn a thing or two about it or get your ass out before you get in a bunch of trouble.

either way, i hate to say this, i'm gonna say things won't go so well at that physical.
Jan 21 2008 12:22AM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
PIG PEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

(Out Cold) 
Jan 21 2008 12:55AM
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solitaryman
Posts: 3578 - Karma: 123
lolololololololololololol you is fuckeeeeeed you cant add water apparently?
Jan 21 2008 1:00AM
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chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,122
add the hottest water possible, this way you wont haveto dilute it as much.

it's obvious but many people don't think of it
Jan 21 2008 1:05AM
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splooshie
Posts: 644 - Karma: 8
tell them you had to smoke the weed to keep running away from the flying yeti
Jan 21 2008 1:19AM
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IcePointa
Posts: 1879 - Karma: 19
Most tests require the temp to be between 90 and 100 degrees. It would be really easy to go a little too high or low.
Jan 21 2008 3:59AM
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Boodje.
Posts: 1394 - Karma: 21
hahahahahahahahahaha
Jan 21 2008 8:51AM
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skiblandford
Posts: 1503 - Karma: 2

pour monster or amp in the cup anything yellowish

Jan 21 2008 9:56AM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
What the fuck?
You're fuckin retarded
Jan 21 2008 11:48AM
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skihillraod
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 45
HAND WARMER!!!!!

when you buy fake piss at the head shop it comes with a hand warmer.

If you are really paranoid get a sticky thermometer to put on the side so you know how warm it is.

Jan 21 2008 11:54AM
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skiEER
Posts: 4089 - Karma: 79
adding warm water is sucha bad idea
Jan 21 2008 12:01PM
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user098123
Posts: 6072 - Karma: 18
When did they tell you that you were going to get tested? I assume you stopped smoking as soon as that happened, right?

Anyways, what the guy said a few posts above with the long list is some good advice. Drink as much water as possible, it will help flush your system. Go to the store, and buy B vitamins. Take a bunch of these, just make sure not tons and tons of them. These will turn your piss yellow and hide that it is overdiluted.

The problem with your friends piss is that you can't really keep it warm. It might be a good idea to have it for a backup though. You'll know if they do a temperature scan of your piss as soon as you look at the cup. There will be a little bar or something across the cup with numbers for temperature on it. These will change color depending on how hot the temperature is. when i had my drug test they said like 80 to 95 or something I think, but I don't remember exactly. If your cup doesn't do this, then your buds piss is probably ok to use. You still want it fairly warm though.

As to getting it warm...hmm well I guess you have two options. The best might be to have your friend get really really dehydrated temporarily so that when he pisses it's dark dark yellow. That way when you add some hot water to it, it won't throw off the results that badly. The other is to try and hold the piss in your armpit haha. Your armpit is the warmest external part of the human body. And thats all I can really think of.
Jan 21 2008 12:01PM
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Mattman
Posts: 19108 - Karma: 16
and how old are your?
Jan 21 2008 12:16PM
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ride-rider
Posts: 1761 - Karma: 20
what the hell you can buy fake piss, how does that work?

But man if you get caught just be like i just tried it, im never gonna do it again it was a horrable expirience. Then tell them that allmost everyone has tried it in their lifetime.
Jan 21 2008 12:17PM
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dangerdad
Posts: 2228 - Karma: 317
here are some ideas:

to keep it warm, tape the bage of piss to the inside of your leg with like 4 hand warmers attached to it. Bring in a thermos of boiling hot water and add a tiny bit to the piss in the bathroom. use a thermometer to make sure its around the right temp.

if this fails, drinka ton of water and do what everyone else recommended as a back up. I have a friend that to a system cleanser and passed a drug test 4 days after he had smoked.

also do some damn research. google is brilliant. and dont smoke unless your preped to deal with shit.
Jan 21 2008 12:22PM
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THEDICKBUTCHER
Posts: 3067 - Karma: 673
uhhh microwave?? HAHA
Jan 21 2008 12:24PM
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user098123
Posts: 6072 - Karma: 18
Are you serious? How the fuck is he going to use a microwave to warm up his piss at the doctors office. Even if he did it before he left his house, it would probably be cold by the time he got to the bathroom.
Jan 21 2008 12:28PM
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samwise
Posts: 2592 - Karma: 36
like someone said above, just put it in a really well insulated thermos or coffee mug or somethin
Jan 21 2008 12:34PM
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user098123
Posts: 6072 - Karma: 18
Because the doctor DEFINITELY isn't going to notice you sneaking a thermos into the bathroom or sneaking a bag of piss out of the thermos when they have their back turned.
Jan 21 2008 12:36PM
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samwise
Posts: 2592 - Karma: 36
haha i meant it would be a good bet for keeping it warm on the way there... i wouldn't want to drive to a physical with piss taped to my crotch... it could burst in transit and then you'd be fucked. it couldn't lose that much heat from the car to the office
Jan 21 2008 12:43PM
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Alex_G
Posts: 11902 - Karma: 1,018
Go to your local smokeshop and get a detox solution.
Jan 21 2008 1:01PM
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comeatmebro
Posts: 10720 - Karma: 66
it's a little late to work out so that's out the window. it all depends when you last smoked, which you didn't say so that sucks for you. all you need to do is drink water all day, get vitamin B to make it yellow and that's about it. when you're at the test piss mid-stream. which means don't hit the cup when you first start pissing or when you are at the end, in the middle there should be less THC in it.

as far as using someone else's piss, if you do it, you better do it right. that means make it as hidden as possible. i would personally use some kinda plastic ish bag and somehow put a tube from it that is like 6 inches. make sure it doesn't leak and plug up the tube. also you better make sure it is in that temperature window. it's like what 90-100 or something i'm not positive about that though. maybe have one of those thermometers on the bag and if it's right temp when you get in there, use it. if not hope your system is clean enough.

oh and if you know of a headshop by you, buy a detox kit. and be sure to read the instructions carefully and it is almost guaranteed to work.

next time, try to be more careful, and be prepared for this kinda shit to happen. that's gonna suck huge dick if you can't go to whistler. so if you do get caught, make sure to tell them you only tried it and it isn't that bad for you. asked if they have ever tried it. and be sure to get all facts about how it isn't bad for you to tell them. tell them you know it was dumb and it's not gonna happen again etc. etc. etc.

that's all i got for ya man, good luck.
Jan 21 2008 1:11PM
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skihillraod
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 45
it isn't that big of an issue, it just has to be in the 90's

quit making it so hard, and use a handwarmer it will be close and that is all that matters.

don't ever go through this much effort for any parents again, this is only for law/job purposes. 

Slap your mom and tell her if she is not careful, you will move to the ski hill today so she better start acting right.  Let her cry, give her a hug and tell her you are all grown up now.

I have had it with the stupid parent threads on ns.  YOU WILL HAVE WAY WAY BIGGER PROBLEMS IN THE NEAR FUTURE SO QUIT CRYING AND SLAP YOUR PARENTS.

you don't need their fancy car or their house, you need to know how to work and have a few friends.



Jan 21 2008 1:28PM
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marc_sncl
Posts: 612 - Karma: 16
^I agree

so did you pass?
Jan 21 2008 1:52PM
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-+Siver+-
Posts: 1902 - Karma: 12
the only problem is they found him with rolling papers
Jan 21 2008 2:35PM
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buchanan.
Posts: 1911 - Karma: 156

well, hes not answering. i geuss he actually did decide to take a shit in the cup and was instanly sent to re-hab

Jan 21 2008 3:22PM
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Casey
Posts: 7783 - Karma: 23,455
if you bring in some old  piss they are going to know. Also if its not warm enough they will know. They can read your mind, and they are going to be pissed.

Use some same day piss, and like a handwarmer beforehand to keep it warm. I'm sad to say i've done it a few times, pretty nerve racking, but its not like the doctor is a cop or something. they're not going to haul you off to jail if you fail a drug test.
Jan 21 2008 3:32PM
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laxstar
Posts: 1051 - Karma: 11
try using nicocin (spelling) it is cleans your system pretty well..friends used it for drug test basically it cooks your body to like the 100 degree tempature and your skin becomes really red like a bad sunburn this lasts for around 10-15 min and you will be really hot and sweaty but it cleans out the toxins in your body
Jan 21 2008 3:46PM
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Tinga
Posts: 11349 - Karma: 2,333
the doctor is also going to grab your balls most likely. just on top of the drug test bad news
Jan 21 2008 3:53PM
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AMG.
Posts: 867 - Karma: 21
you can take the test yourself if you have to. you just have to drink like 15 litres of water, and something like 3 or 4 liters of coffee the day before. then on the day, drink probably like 7 liters more of water, some coffee again, then when youre pissing in the cup, get the piss from the "middle" of the stream, aparently its more concentrated at the begining and end, but the middle is mostly water...by the way i'm recalling this of a credible source, but the amounts of water/coffee may be wrong, but the middle of the stream thing is for sure correct. and if you dont get the whole metric to imperial thing, 15L of water is like 7.5 big bottles of pop you get at the grocery store, filled with water of course.
Jan 21 2008 6:03PM
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jimmychung
Posts: 6857 - Karma: 25
is there a way to detox your body? maybe drink a ton of water or something. and maybe in the future don't smoke as a physical is coming up, because you never know.
Jan 21 2008 6:08PM
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AMG.
Posts: 867 - Karma: 21
[regarding my previous post]... didn't see you made this yesterday, meaning its probably allready happened. so my little bit of advice is useless, maybe next time though ahah.
Jan 21 2008 6:09PM
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christo4
Posts: 232 - Karma: 10
wear tight underwear and hide that shit in there...
Jan 21 2008 6:11PM
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987321654hgfd
Posts: 5133 - Karma: 5,447
he probably failed and is punished from the computer
Jan 21 2008 6:12PM
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saucybiscuits
Posts: 2554 - Karma: 173
keep it on your person against your skin? ( Pant Leg?)
Jan 21 2008 6:34PM
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THEDICKBUTCHER
Posts: 3067 - Karma: 673
HAHA i was joking but if he does it he can warm it up like a loooot for like 10 min so when he gets 2 the doctors office is warm!! only ur house is guna smell like piss and ur microwave too BAHAHA
Jan 21 2008 7:12PM
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nigel12
Posts: 571 - Karma: 11
just so you know when i had my drug test i was patted down pretty good right up high on the inner leg under your arms

your best bet is detox if your caught with someone else's piss your pretty much toast

i realise he is probably already had it but for others in the same predicament
Jan 21 2008 7:29PM
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saucybiscuits
Posts: 2554 - Karma: 173
thats wat im thinkin
Jan 21 2008 8:02PM
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D-HAWK
Posts: 890 - Karma: 10
tell them you just tryed it two times if worse comes to worse and you didnt think you shuld tell them cause it was a bad choice and you havent done it since
Jan 21 2008 8:05PM
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