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Sneeze Stories:

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stompdat
Posts: 641 - Karma: 50

Once in school, I sneeze while taking a test, and when i sneezed, i blew snot (not justnormal snot, the green nasty kind) all over a girls back (ugly girl) and kept taking the test.

o yeah, and i hate sneezing in my bandana. shits gross.


whatcha got?

Jan 14 2008 9:28PM
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Silence
Posts: 16030 - Karma: 149
You must not have much snow where you live?
Jan 14 2008 9:29PM
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ilikeplants
Posts: 1868 - Karma: 17
Sometimes when I sneeze really bad i do a gnarly head bang motion and my head goes forward and down. I woke up early one morning and walked into my kitchen and went to grab something from the counter, sneezed, head goes down and makes contact with the counter top. Woke my parents up it was so loud. Hurt like a mother fucker too.
Jan 14 2008 9:30PM
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TRLnottheshow
Posts: 125 - Karma: 10
In 7th grade there was this kid who didnt really have too many friends or anything and  a lot of ppl picked on who sneezed and farted at the same exact time in class once. But only i realized it and he tried playing it off but i called him out on him he got so mad and rest of year i called him sneeze fart and he hated me now looking back i feel like an ass.... im prob on his hitlist kinda like billy madision i should call and apoligize
Jan 14 2008 9:30PM
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MCIRONCOCK
Posts: 3094 - Karma: 30
One time i sneezed when i was peeing. God..
Jan 14 2008 9:31PM
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breckfreeskier
Posts: 1541 - Karma: 22

I can't believe it, but I actually have a story about a sneeze. So one day, I was sitting in my AP Bio class, and I feel a sneeze coming on. Now this wasn't a normal sneeze, this was like gale force wind sneeze. So I let loose this beast of a sneeze, and it was so forceful, my head smacked down into my desk extremely hard. This hurt quite badly, so I utter a yelp of "Mother Fucker!?!?!"  Well, the class went utterly silent, and all the teacher (who was a real hard ass) said was "That looked like it hurt". That was my sneeze story, hope you enjoyed it.

Jan 14 2008 9:32PM
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stompdat
Posts: 641 - Karma: 50

^ haha, i knew a person that makes sure she's blessed after every sneeze, or else she'll tweak out.

Jan 14 2008 9:33PM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,861
this actually happened last week,

i was eating spaghetti at lunch and as soon as i got a delicious mouthful of noodles and sauce i sneezed and it flew out my nose onto the kids books across the table from me.

Jan 14 2008 9:35PM
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skifree919
Posts: 5842 - Karma: 35
haha ive done that. The end result wasn't pretty
Jan 14 2008 9:35PM
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fillup
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 568
i sneezed hot cheetos in the middle of a desk during school when class was in session = everyone grossed out
Jan 14 2008 9:37PM
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stompdat
Posts: 641 - Karma: 50
laughing hard is pretty bad when peeing too..... yeah... It's happened....
Jan 14 2008 9:37PM
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oiECSoi
Posts: 1447 - Karma: 10
one time when i was peeing i sneezed then farted right after it was pretty ill i was proud of myself. i called it the farpeez.  now i wanna do it again btu throw a burp in the miz and maybe even a hic-up or two.
Jan 14 2008 9:46PM
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Drewykins
Posts: 230 - Karma: 12
i sneezed cheesecake out of my nose once.
Jan 14 2008 9:48PM
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MCIRONCOCK
Posts: 3094 - Karma: 30
Hahaha that reminds me, me and my friend had this like week long argument over if you could use all bodily functions at once, and what it would be called.
Jan 14 2008 9:51PM
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splooshie
Posts: 644 - Karma: 8
the seltzer sneeze? hurts badd
Jan 14 2008 9:55PM
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mellifluous
Posts: 1682 - Karma: 68
Hahahahahhahahaha I laughed so hard at that.
Jan 14 2008 9:55PM
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Swan_Solo
Posts: 2374 - Karma: 14
well i was sitting at the end of two tables, like in the corner, and had a monstrous sneeze that propelled my forehead downward...this would've been fine, but the force of said sneeze knocked off my trajectory and i got a forehead full of table and fail
Jan 14 2008 9:55PM
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Ruski
Posts: 1872 - Karma: 11
i have a horribly high pitched sneeze and i only seem to sneeze during quiet moments in class, so embarassing.

ever sneezed while skiing then caught an edge cause it got you off balance? yeppers, fun times.
Jan 14 2008 9:59PM
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SteezyasPie
Posts: 1160 - Karma: 15
not a great story but a lunch a couple of weeks ago i just randomly sneezed (like it popped out of nowhere) and this massive hunk of snot comes flying out and lands in this kid's spaghetti, needless to say my friends and i werent to quick to warn him and he ate it all, saying (and i quote) "i think they changed the recipe that tasted a little funky", at which point the entire table busts out laughing until someone pitied him enough to tell him what happened

thats my story

im now gonna sit here and prepared to get "cool story hansel" 'd to death
Jan 14 2008 10:06PM
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jimmychung
Posts: 6857 - Karma: 25
sometimes i hurt my back sneezing and i feel old
Jan 14 2008 10:10PM
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wev-skis
Posts: 564 - Karma: 10
i was at a baseball game and i had a big plate of fried dough with a ton of powdered sugar on top of it.  A sneeze came up with out warning and it hit the fried dough straight on.  It shot a huge powdered sugar cloud into the air and it covered the guys head that was sitting infront of me.  but some how i dont think he ever noticed.
Jan 14 2008 10:11PM
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user098123
Posts: 6072 - Karma: 18
I have two things about sneezes really.

The first is, the WORST time to ever sneeze is when you are driving. Like you just let loose and you have to close your eyes, and you can't always keep your hands perfect straight on the wheel. Shit sucks.

The second is that one time we were in Bio class, in like 10th grade or 9th or something. I'm sitting all the way in the back, and its in the middle of a test. I feel a huge sneeze coming on, so I get ready to sneeze, and just as it is about to come out, I make that like "Huck" noise, right be for you Chooo. As the sneeze was coming out it was just like GONE. It was the weirdest thing ever. So its dead silent and I make this like huge guttural snort or whatever it is and no sneeze after that so I just bust out laughing and everyone is turned around to look at me and they are laughing. To this day, everytime I sneeze that comes into my mind and so I try and resist the sneeze in public.
Jan 14 2008 10:15PM
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mellifluous
Posts: 1682 - Karma: 68
Yeah because when you sneeve, every organ in your body including your heart and muscles and stuff stops for like a nanosecond or something like that
Jan 14 2008 10:25PM
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RunDMc
Posts: 1298 - Karma: 60
Jan 14 2008 10:30PM
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Itsbackfliptime
Posts: 18901 - Karma: 75
This is possibly the best sneeze story.
So I'm sitting in my chemistry lecture and its all quiet right before class is about to start. My stomachs a little upset for some reason and I've been ripping some silent farts all morning. Then I get the urge to sneeze and fart at the same time. This causes a problem cause when I sneeze I won't be able to control my ass cheeks to make the fart quiet. So I sneeze and rip a huge ass fart in front of 300 people. Epic.
Jan 14 2008 10:40PM
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Alex_thedroog
Posts: 3433 - Karma: 2
no, it is the worst because you can't see and it is very easy to get in a wreck.

whenever my mom sneezes it is like a minimum of 6
Jan 14 2008 10:46PM
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GANDALF
Posts: 6285 - Karma: 6,433
i sneezed while driving on the freeway during rush hour once. wayyy scary.
Jan 14 2008 11:16PM
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FapMasterFLEX
Posts: 608 - Karma: 333
OMG! theres a kid im my grade named mike and hes like physicllay retarted not metally hes normal but he looks funny and he has a problem with his nose or somethin like that and when he sneezes its so fucking loud. i was taking my math final and the dood let a gem go and i nearly fell out of my chair. i wish i had a video. like this kid is ridicolous seriously
Jan 15 2008 9:04AM
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jimmychung
Posts: 6857 - Karma: 25
haha yeah i was driving once and i taking a corner so both my hands were busy as i needed to sneeze and i didn't want to close my eyes so it was super scary when i sneezed and snot went all over my windshield and i couldn't see for a couple seconds.
Jan 15 2008 9:15AM
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R-Bertsch
Posts: 4719 - Karma: 20
haha thats funny shit if that really happened. i've had a wicked cold lately and sometimes in the morning if i sneeze i'll sneeze out a bunch of loogies out of my mouth (disgusting, i know) but i was actually thinking how embarassing it would be if i was in class or talking to a girl and i sneezed and just blasted her with loogies all over.
Jan 15 2008 9:23AM
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j3Di
Posts: 1188 - Karma: 13
hahaha, well said.
Jan 15 2008 9:24AM
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eyes.a.fire
Posts: 1238 - Karma: 13
i remember in 6th grade a kid next to me sneezed a bloody nose. there was blood everywhere.
Jan 15 2008 12:47PM
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Alkyy
Posts: 2839 - Karma: 149

Bahahahaha i started dying at that panda sneeze.. Like when it was just eating the bamboo i lost it

Jan 15 2008 1:31PM
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I-Ski-AK
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 22
better get some of the quicker picker upper. BOUNTY!
Jan 15 2008 1:42PM
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mackinnon
Posts: 5153 - Karma: 156
ever heard of covering your mouth?^
sneezing while driving is so scary...my eyes close a few seconds before i actually sneeze so i try to fight it off if i can...doesn't work that well. same with skiing and sneezing..

Jan 15 2008 2:26PM
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multi-illionaire
Posts: 99 - Karma: 15
bump
Jun 4 2008 11:56AM
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i.ski.troll.
Posts: 4692 - Karma: 245
have you seen the dane cook sneeze?

here it is its funny as fuck

Jun 4 2008 12:29PM
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bhill2.0
Posts: 6573 - Karma: 197
My friend once in 4th grade shot a huge booger out of his nose and onto this girls back for people to find out later. The teacher fucking freaked out and made it the biggest fucking deal ever.
Jun 4 2008 12:53PM
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chimp
Posts: 616 - Karma: 117
ok dude get this one time i sneezed
Jun 4 2008 12:55PM
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GANDALF
Posts: 6285 - Karma: 6,433
this thread actully made me laugh really hard in class and now people are looking at me. but its totally worth it. but not even a week ago i had to sneeze reall bad and i was kinda in a crowd type thing so i justs closed my eyes and turned around and sneezed. i opened my eyes and saw a very unhappy person standing lke face to face with me. i dipped out real quick.
Jun 4 2008 1:35PM
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wrenegade
Posts: 6631 - Karma: 41

Ever coughed and sneezed at the same time? I have, it's not pleasant. Hurts like hell. Unforunately it has happened on a couple occasions. Also, don't try to keep your eyes open when you sneeze. Not only is it exteremely difficult (actually impossible) but it hurts like hell as a result. I have also sneezed 11 times in a row. It was grade 6 and my whole class was stunned it went on so long. Then I got applause.

Jun 4 2008 1:44PM
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Jodi
Posts: 4215 - Karma: 745
THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST SNEEZE STORY...AND IM GLAD I HAVE A FORUM TO TELL IT... Ughum...(below)

So, I used to work as a radio jock...an announcer...
The system was all "touchscreen" you selected everything from music to commercial breaks by touching the various buttons on the screen. If someone called in with a birthday greeting, you hit the "Birthday song" button...a prize winner got the "prize SFX" etc etc...
So - Im in the studio.....im feelin a big sneeze come on....and i let er out....rippin...giant sneeze...shit flies out of my mouth, my nose....all over the touchscreen.....firing off ALL THE Sound Buttons at once...every button my snot hit, was triggered...Birthday songs, Lionel Ritchie songs, Prize winner songs, traffic reports, lottery numbers, commercials....everything aired in a mash overtop of eachother...alll at once....thanks to my MASSIVE sneeze.
next time your driving in the car and theres a technical screwup on the radio...that could be the reason.
peace.
Jun 4 2008 2:19PM
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