Nature Valley Granola Bars
LOATH LEVEL: 4
God bless the people at Nature Valley for sponsoring competitions like the U.S. Freeskiing Open and giving away thousands of free granola bars at ski resorts every year. But let me ask you straight up: have you ever actually consumed a Nature Valley Granola Bar? The recipe is two parts cardboard, one part gravel, and one part sawdust. If you're ever forced to spend a freezing night outdoors, use them as bone-dry fuel for your fire or crumbly projectiles to kill small game.
that is soooo true
sorta...they are WARM. and thats good enough for me