so me and my friend were sitting eating dinner with his dad, and randomly, my friend asks, "dad, do you know where i was conceived?" his dads answer "i dont know, me and your mom were like rabbits back in the day."
wouldnt it be funny if a girl astronaut was in the space station for like a year and then came back to earth and gave birth like 4 months later,, then everybody would make fun of the kid for being concieved in outer space
my dad has this yearly tradition of getting a keg of unpasteurized german beer sent to our house for either the 4th of july or his birthday, at which point it sits out on the back porch in a barrell of ice until people kill it...usually means everyone is super drunk for like 3 straight days cause it's heavy stuff and there's only a few people working it
anyway, one day last summer when this was going on, we were sitting on the back porch doing business on the thing and my dad, being halfway drunk, told me i was concieve on the Paris-to-Munich leg of a train called the Orient Express that runs from western europe to, you guessed it, the Orient...after that, until i was about 5 or 6 years old, he would yell "AH, THE EXPRESS HAS ARRIVED" every time i walked into a room where he and his friends were hanging out and having drinks.
so yeah, i was an inside sex joke between my parents and their friends for over half a decade...at first when he told me this i was weirded out, but some of my friends call me The Express sometimes ever since i told them the story...funny i guess, i suppose i cant do anything but embrace it, it's better than "i knocked your mom up in the bathroom at hardees and we had to have a shotgun wedding"
"The best way I can describe it is it felt like somebody bungee jumped off my right nut."
-Ken Griffey Jr. on what it feels like to break your groin.
my friends parents were really drunk one night and his mom said that his little sister was conceived on the kitchen floor and that she was an accident. (he's 20 and she's 3). I've never asked my parents and don't think i ever will
i'm pretty sure it'd be a puke party for me if my parents ever told me. but then again, we don't really talk about things like that and my dad pretends to not know what a tampon is (i don't remember how that ever came up). hahah
trevorwoulddo...-But it makes perfect sense, one american dollar up here is like... an escalade with 24 inch rims and strippers on the roof.
1.Ninjas are mammals.
2.Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3.The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.