i actually treated god the exact way you described for the first 13 years of my life. i would talk to "him" often. most times not asking for anything simply talking to him like i would a friend. from time to time i would need him and ask for his help. the thing is with me, nothing ever happened. but i was always told god works in mysterious ways. nothing happened. this has nothing to do with my loss of faith actually. because when i smarted up i realized i was talking to myself
but to the whole thing of the 5 pigeons it reminds me of south park. not to sound like a dick but on the episode with john edwards, kyle was told by john that his grandma was angry and should look for 4 white doves. later kyle sees four white doves on a poster for jewleard and thinks that his grandma was talking to him. i really think the pidgeons were just your mind searching for an answer to openly and you are too scared/confused/worried to realize they were simply 5 pidgeons. also the scared etc. part was in no way meant to be mean. i understand that people are always searching for answers and often don't know where to turn
i feel as if i have a deeper knowlege into this subject because i was a devout christian for so long then turned into a free thinking agnostic as i grew older. i refuse to believe that religion in society is a good thing. when i was 13 i was told (in a casual non-denominational church) that everytime i looked at pornography i was commiting a sin masturbating was a despicable thing. also homosexuals were going straight to hell becuase they "chose" to have sex with members of their sex.
i do like your description that if god is actual really he is more of a friend than an allmighty man watching over us and laying down his law. i just find it hard to believe that in a time so morally despicable as ours, a god who was so active in the world 2000 years ago (and as i had it explained to me, to god a million years is like a second to us) does nothing or says nothing. where i can be 100% positive that our world now is much worse than when [read if] he sent the "flood"
hope this wasn't to confusing. i love topics like this where a discussion will always occur
Perfect North Slopes
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