Only in America ...
do drugstores make
the sick walk all the way
to the back of the store
to get their prescriptions
while healthy people
can buy cigarettes
at the front.
Only in America ......
do people order
double cheeseburgers,
large fries,
and a diet coke.
Only in America .......
do banks leave
both doors open
and then chain
the pens to the counters.
Only in America .......
do we leave cars worth
thousands of dollars
in the driveway and
put our useless junk
in the garage.
Only in America ......
do we buy hot dogs in packages
of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America ......
do we use the word 'politics'
to describe the process so well:
'Poli' in Latin meaning
'many' and 'tics'meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America .......
do they have drive-up
ATM machines with
Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ....
Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin ?
Why women can't put on
Mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see
the headline
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated"
such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call
what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made
with artificial flavor,
and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests
all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day
with the slowest traffic
called rush hour?
Why isn't there
mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah
swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle
for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible
black box that is used
on airplanes?
Why don't they make
the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink
when it rains?
Why are they called apartments
when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe,
why do they call the airport
the terminal?
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