so.. first off id liek to say, if you are easily distured DO NOT READ FURTHER!
today i killed a snapping turtle. to some of you this may bring a shrug, to others a gasp.
it was not as much that i killed it, it is how i killed it and how long it took.
so my grampa had a snapper in his pond, and as it was eating ducklings and frogs, he naturally wanted it dead. at any rate, i figured a few good hits with a shovel in the head would do the trick.
boy was i wrong.
for something so fucking old and slow, they are damn persistent at staying alive.
so i get it out onto the grass, it looks at me sticks its head out, ..... WHAM
i smoke it over the top of the head with the shovel.. nothing.
sticks its head up looks at me.. i change positions so im on its right side....... WHAM
smoke it in the face with the shovel. .. still not much of a reaction.
i get in front of it again and line its head up, WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM.
in the face, neck and head... hes getting abit agitated, and starts snapping at me..
i start freaking out, cause it was bad enough that i was killing it, but i was hoping it would be quick and clean.
so i busted out the shovel again, and started givin it to this turtle like a mexican in a wifebeater. i shit fucked it man, and it was disgusting. i busted off the front of its face, to the point where blood was oozing out of its mouth /what was left of its face , and its head.
im starting to get really sketched, like about to puke style. so im like wtf, how can i finish it off quick? i try chopping its head off with the shovel blade, no dice, so i grab a big rock, like a two hand grabbing, 15 pounder. raise in the air like fucking moses with his tablets, and smash it over the bastards head.
what happens, it starts bleeding like fuck, cant see barely move...
i say fuck it and i toss it in the river, assuming its dead.
the fucker starts swimming.
by now i have shovel beat it for about 5 minutes, smahed its head in with a rock, and chucked it onti a river.. and its still fucking swimming.
im cursing to myself.
so i start hurling huge rocks at it, in hopes that one will kill it.
i throw a huge block of concrete onto its shell and that does nothing.. finally aeftr 20 minutes of trying to kill the damn thing, i walk out into the middle of the river, and step on its shell, held it under water for a good 10minutes, before it finally gave its last breath.
1 turtle , with half of its face bleeding off, and polls of blood drainign from it, took a beating for 20m minutes, and then was held under water for another 10 before it finally died.
may it rest in peace, the poor soul.
next time ill take my uncles offer up on shooting it.
"my loins burn with the illicit fires of passion"- Elliat
- GSJC- JC-
"nah raptors attack with their rear legs,the foreclaws are just for holding stuff like mugs of beer" -
how would you like it if she started on you but it felt more like her playing Street Fighter with your cock as the joystick and your balls as the buttons?- Ryno