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seinfeld quotes

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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
good show, good quotes!

Kramer screaming from the rooftops. 'Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad chicken!! mess you up!'
Kenny rogers manager dude 'thats not gonna be good for buisness'
Jerry 'thats not gonna be good for anybody'

.............................................
Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 10 2003 12:34PM
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Aspen23NYC
Posts: 609 - Karma: 10
uncle leo?
Jul 10 2003 1:16PM
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Muteman
Posts: 1508 - Karma: 12
helllo Newman!
No souip for you!
(trust me, the '' things aren't actually there)
Jul 10 2003 3:43PM
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mattster
Posts: 4120 - Karma: 41
Kramer: the trick is findin the right pasta for the pasta sculpture , for jerry i used fucilli

Jerry : why fucilli ?

Kramer : cause your silly
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

^ sounds like more pointless posting^


snonasty is my hero
Jul 10 2003 4:18PM
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Huck2live1612
Posts: 407 - Karma: 11
hmmmmmm so many to think of...
elaine gets a drink and sips on it- o this is awful jerry- well u gotta shake it up
elaine- no im tired of shaking things up
jerry takes the drink and shakes it up very easily- o ya this is kilin me o gee im dying here

phone rings
jerry- hello
telemarketer- would u like a subscription to the new york times
jerry- yes(hangs up)

kramer- well is it a titleist (after george finds a golf ball down the blowhole of a whale)


me: what the hell is that?
sister:its a boat u dumbass
me:well what the fuck do they nedd it for? the shitheads
Jul 10 2003 7:49PM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
neuman - jjuumbaliaaaa

elaine - he took it out....

kramer - im out there and im LOOVVVIN every minute of it!!!!

jerry - mm...mmmmm..mmister marbles?


Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 10 2003 10:41PM
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BigPerm
Posts: 1134 - Karma: 13
kramer is covered in butter and tanning on the roof. gets Burnned and says to jerry...
'put a fork in my jerry, im done!'
___________________________




.:: P A T ::.
{2002-2003 MCM}


COC session E
Jul 10 2003 11:28PM
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Aspen23NYC
Posts: 609 - Karma: 10
ha, the mister marbles one, that was the same episode as the kenny rogers chicken
Jul 11 2003 1:29AM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
hahah yea dude,

and were elaine and jerry are smoking the cigars on his couch and hes like

'it mmeellss like a rurrrer fire' elains like whats that?

'Its Smells like a rubber fire'

aahhhhhh

just a stupid seinfeld moment...

Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 11 2003 10:06AM
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Capurnicus
Posts: 9947 - Karma: 1,886
too many too tooo many

Patrick
patproductions.com
SMS Session 1
Jul 11 2003 11:09AM
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sugarloafer1990
Posts: 1028 - Karma: 9
sooo many to think of, some are:

Kramer: What, vandela what, no you got the wrong number.
George: VANDELA INDUSTRY SAY VANDELA INDUSTRY
(George is lying in his underwear on the floor screaming that and jerry says:)
Jerry: And you wanted to be my latex salesman







Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.
Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'
Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'
Jul 11 2003 7:58PM
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DSpin_9
Posts: 664 - Karma: 11
'believe it or not, george isnt at home, please leave a message at the beep, and if i were home id anwser the phone, where could i be? Believe it or not I'm not home' - George's Anwsering Machine

Something along those lines, i dont remember it by heart
Jul 11 2003 9:22PM
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strode
Posts: 7549 - Karma: 14
huck2live that was a bottle of salad dressing.....





Abba Zabba, you my only friend
Jul 11 2003 9:39PM
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sugarloafer1990
Posts: 1028 - Karma: 9
sorry dude...that was a soda bottle...i remember it distinctly.

and for the guy who did the answering machine...that used to be my answering machine message.








Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.
Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'
Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'
Jul 12 2003 6:40PM
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ski8990
Posts: 5961 - Karma: 19
that dude going up to the priests car with his face painted red after a hockey game and yelling 'dont mess with the devils! were the devils baby! ya!'





you dont always have to fuck her hard. in fact some times thats not right, to do. some times you gotta make some luuuv and fuckin give her some smooches tooo. some times you got to sqeez. sometimes you got to say please. SOMETIME you gotta say HEY, 'im gonna fuck you, sweetly. im gonna screw you gently im gonna hump you, sweetly. im gonna ball you, DESCRETLY. and then you say hey i brought you flowers. and then you say well wait a minute sally. i think i got something in my teeth could you get it out for me? thats fuckin teamwork. whats your favorite posish? thats cool with me its not my favorite but i'll do if for you! whats your favorite dish? not gonna cook it but i'll order it from SANSABAR! and then i'm gonna luv you completley, and fuckin fuck u descretly. and then i'll fuckin bone you completly. but then im gonna fuuuuuuck yooooouuu haaaaaarrd! haaaard!
-tenacious d, fuck her gently
Jul 12 2003 9:08PM
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DFT1080
Posts: 998 - Karma: 12
If pigman had a car he'd give you a ride

-Dan

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Two for one, five for four, half ounces, quater pounds, lb's and kilos. What are we looking for sin semilla.

We didn't just build a car. We started a religion.
Jul 12 2003 9:39PM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
elaine - you gonna have a nap?
putty - ...no.....
elaine - you want something to read?
putty - ....no...
elaine - your just gonna sit there and stare at the back of your seat?
putty - ....thats right...
elaine - THATS IT WERE BROKEN UP!
vegetable lasagna - pleease stop yelling
elaine - Shut up vegetable lasagna!!
Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 13 2003 11:07AM
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[bryan]
Posts: 483 - Karma: 26
soup nazi-'no soup for you!'


10% equipment
90% balls
Jul 13 2003 1:14PM
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BMit
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 218
telemarketer- hello sir, would your like to sign up for a subscription wiuth our newspaper?

jerey- umm.. im busy right now, can you give me your home phone number so i can call you back later?

telemarketer- im afraid i cant do that sir?

jerry- is that becuase you CANT do that, or is it because you dont want me bothering you at home?

telemarketer- i dont want you bothering me at home

jerry- well now you know how i feel.

---
jerry- your face looks like a catchers mit

kramer- look away.. im HIDEOUS! (after smoking cigars for 3 days)




Tip-2-Tip We Rule
Jul 13 2003 3:55PM
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Huck2live1612
Posts: 407 - Karma: 11
elaine gets in a taxi right after having along plane ride with vegetable lausagna and right after breaking up with putty
driver- im sorry lady we need to double up in taxis (putty gets in)
vegetable lausagna gets in- Hello! o im sorry hes sais dejectidly
elaine- NOOOOOOOO!
me: what the hell is that?
sister:its a boat u dumbass
me:well what the fuck do they nedd it for? the shitheads
Jul 14 2003 8:28PM
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teembosqet17
Posts: 412 - Karma: 17
yeah the telemarketer was the best one

i also like the whole episode with jerrys suede jacket with the pink liner





teem bousquet
Jul 15 2003 1:37PM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
hahaha yeeaaa

putty - jerry...... high 5...

baboo bot - your a very bad man jerry, verrrryy bad man
Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 15 2003 3:26PM
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Triple_Strum
Posts: 6382 - Karma: 946
George: I have magic powers, jerry. I can sense even the slightest human suffering.

Jerry: are you sensing anything right now?

AND the best of ALL time:

George: Yeah, well the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you!

'Yeah, I'll get that cleaned up lickity-split. Speaking of lickity-split what do you say you and I meet up later, see what's going on? Just kidding. But seriously, I'm new in town, kinda lonely, looking for my parents..
Jul 15 2003 7:05PM
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Muteman
Posts: 1508 - Karma: 12
I justr watched a good episode. It was the one where jerry dates the chick with the toy collection and they get her drunk and make her pass out and sleep and then it is also the owon where kramer buys the set to the that talk show and interviews everyone. IT is a classic
(trust me, the '' things aren't actually there)
Jul 15 2003 8:28PM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
hahahah muteman i saw it, it was sooo funny, good quotes too

elaine - ummm, there turning your teeth green?
sidler - i only buy the white ones

jerry - you know those ingridients are like 30 years old

toy chick when jerry is holding the gi joe - ummm what are you doing with that

jerry, acting like shes dumb says - im gonna put him in his frog suit and take him to the sink

hahahha wow....soo good


Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 15 2003 10:33PM
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Huck2live1612
Posts: 407 - Karma: 11
banya- whats the deal with ovaltine its not oval shouldnt they call it roundtine
me: what the hell is that?
sister:its a boat u dumbass
me:well what the fuck do they nedd it for? the shitheads
Jul 16 2003 9:03AM
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BMit
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 218
Monya- I had a poney!

putty- gotta support the team..

'It's a write-off for them.'
'How is it a write-off?'
'They just write it off.'
'Write it off what?'
'Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.'
'You don't even know what a write-off is.'
'Do you?'
'No, I don't.'
'But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.'
'I wish I had the last twenty seconds of my life back.'


my bgrothers got that one in his room.. the best in the world

heres a site with all seinfeld quotes http://www.pkmeco.com/seinfeld/






Tip-2-Tip We Rule
Jul 16 2003 12:14PM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
Kramer - guess the cable man doesn't like to be kept waiting
Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 16 2003 12:29PM
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sugarloafer1990
Posts: 1028 - Karma: 9
Jerry- What do you mean my cars gone. I made a reservation.
Lady- Yes, but someone else took the car.
Jerry- But i made a reservation. That means i get the car. Thats the point of the reservation. ANYONE can make a reservation, (hey i'll take one, you take one, we'll all take on.) But what we have to do it HOLD the reservation.






Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.
Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'
Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'
Jul 16 2003 2:49PM
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MaTcHoRy
Posts: 244 - Karma: 13
i like to say,, 'HEEEEELLLLLLOOOOOOO' in a jovial voice. HAHAHAHA he had to choose between the voice or that hot lady, he chose the voice
MaTcHoRy( *)(* )
Jul 17 2003 3:11PM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
he can be spanish.... OOOLLAAAA!!!!!
Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 17 2003 3:20PM
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sugarloafer1990
Posts: 1028 - Karma: 9
shiit whats this about?






Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.
Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'
Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'
Jul 17 2003 10:42PM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
whats what about

Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 18 2003 10:07AM
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BMit
Posts: 1526 - Karma: 218
'ITS GO TIME!'




Tip-2-Tip We Rule
Jul 18 2003 5:38PM
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Str8LaceFan
Posts: 17 - Karma: 10
'you have selected... Agent Zero? if this is correct, press one....
... why don't you just tell me the name of the movie?'
Jul 19 2003 10:06PM
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mommy
Posts: 12072 - Karma: 59
stupid americans and your stupid television. i hope you all die in your sleep.
(_(_)_)
i ate the cat, then slit his throat for seconds.
Jul 20 2003 12:38AM
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sugarloafer1990
Posts: 1028 - Karma: 9
i watch 30 minutes of TV a day. Seinfeld. I agree..too much tv is very bad.








Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.
Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'
Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'
Jul 20 2003 9:36AM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
anytime anyone has said 'thaaats a shame' was classic
Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 21 2003 10:09AM
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sugarloafer1990
Posts: 1028 - Karma: 9
'GET OUT!'






Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.
Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'
Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'
Jul 22 2003 9:39PM
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B-Wald
Posts: 8113 - Karma: 96
the best episode was the one with 'jimmy'..and the jump pad shoes..that was awesome..
kramer + novacaine = funny..

'jimmy's gonna get you for this'..
------------------------

- Andrew Berwald
Jul 22 2003 9:47PM
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Str8LaceFan
Posts: 17 - Karma: 10
'i've never had a solid orgasm.'
'i've never had a good pickle!.
Jul 22 2003 10:08PM
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P-JO
Posts: 6853 - Karma: 75
any thing kramer say is hilarious..

The epidsode with The cock fights and jerrys check bouncing has tons of good quotes, I just can't remember one exactly...







IM out like a blind kid in laser tag--- --- I'm out like a midget in a high jump competition
Jul 22 2003 10:15PM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
hahaha

Jerry - george, george... this is a little much right now, iv got a cock fight to win
...........................................
Jerry - Little jerry ran to neumans and back in 30 seconds flat!

George - Is that good?
...................................

cockfight guy - litttlee yaaarrryyya seeeinfeld
Jerry - i dont know....


Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 23 2003 10:02AM
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sugarloafer1990
Posts: 1028 - Karma: 9
hahaha^^ great episode.

Guess what! Jerry Seinfeld is coming to my town to do a performance. I'm gonna see it...im so fucking excited!






Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.
Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'
Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'
Jul 23 2003 11:24AM
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anomericas
Posts: 8237 - Karma: 61
'look away , im hidieous'

'I'm not a pimp!'

cramer
Carl
____________________

Accept no one's defitnition of your life: Define your self. Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
- Terrible One
Jul 23 2003 7:29PM
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TheSignal
Posts: 565 - Karma: 10
Kramer:Yeah, I just entered little jerry in a cock fight.

Jerry:you what? kramer, cock fighting is illegal and it's imoral.

Kramer:What's the big deal?

Jerry:Do you even know what goes on in a cock fight?

Kramer:Yeah, they put little gloves on them, and they go a couple of rounds.

Jerry:No, it's just two roosters in a ring pecking each other.

Kramer:little jerry! (as he runs out of the apartment)
Jul 23 2003 7:51PM
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canonrider
Posts: 2635 - Karma: 29
jerry with date - aahhh apple pie, they make some great apple pie here

jerry as he's eating - im not waiting for ya here

jerry - you gonna try some?

date - no

jerry - oh are you full?

date - nope

jerry - you dont like apple pie?

date - no i like apple pie

jerry - so try it!

date begins to unnervingly shake head like the pie is poison

hahahhahahah, guess you had to be there... really damn funny

Bent Films
www.canonskiboards.com
Jul 23 2003 10:42PM
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sugarloafer1990
Posts: 1028 - Karma: 9
haha^ yeah that was great.

How bout the date that ate peas with the fork!






Me: Yeah, all the hicks and stuff in are school make in the hallway its gross.
Sisters bf: Well, they don't care. Their not leaving town, their just like 'Fuck it.'
Sister: Yeah, thats how i feel about law school right now, 'Fuck it, make out in the hallway.'
Jul 24 2003 8:37AM
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garrett.
Posts: 9304 - Karma: 3,670
i love seinfeld
Jun 25 2006 2:24AM
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jimmychung
Posts: 6857 - Karma: 25
jerry-i'm not letting you store your blood in my freezer
kramer-oh c'mon!
jerry-are we done here?
kramer(with hilarious finger motion)-.....done.
Jun 25 2006 11:49PM
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Shadows
Posts: 8068 - Karma: 42
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Jun 26 2006 7:27AM
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