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March, 2024

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Jesus and the Ultimate Question!

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mski
Posts: 4791 - Karma: 3,803
Did Jesus Christ Have Sexual Intercourse?

and what would juesus really do?
Feb 27 2007 4:51PM
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aja_kiki
Posts: 2354 - Karma: 51
no no no no no i think the real question here is...DID mski ever have sex?

hmm...what to think what to think.
Feb 27 2007 5:09PM
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foodisfun
Posts: 5427 - Karma: 287

welllll.....

i bought this little shower radio thing at tj maxx the other day for $5.  i was really stoked cause i finally found a cheap one i could use.  not remembering my shower is downstairs, i brought it home and found out i couldn't get any FM reception. 

then as i was scrolling through the AM stations, i heard some new reporter say something about people having what could be remians of Jesus and Mary.  some guys apparently found remains in a box with the james Jesus Christ or something on them.

anyway, they also said that there may have been more evidence that jesus had a child. 

cool story eh?

Feb 27 2007 6:22PM
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Sholte
Posts: 2929 - Karma: 12
no, only in davicie code.
Feb 27 2007 6:44PM
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J-Flow
Posts: 675 - Karma: 10
the REAL question is: "could jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?"
Feb 27 2007 6:48PM
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mski
Posts: 4791 - Karma: 3,803
^ indeed!
Feb 28 2007 7:11AM
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dozerr
Posts: 4007 - Karma: 403
such a good simpsons
Mar 4 2007 12:33PM
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sophieskis
Posts: 245 - Karma: 18
hahahahah exactly
Mar 4 2007 12:59PM
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SteezePatrol
Posts: 10281 - Karma: 36
cool story hansel
Mar 4 2007 1:03PM
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Shpadoinkle
Posts: 10437 - Karma: 84
u murdered that one...
Mar 4 2007 1:09PM
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killabees
Posts: 8558 - Karma: 494
yea he tore someone a newone every night being the son of god and all
Mar 4 2007 1:14PM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
Jesus is real Christianity is not and neither is any other religion. All put in place to control and people and explain the unknown. I could go on for days but if you bible thumpers really believe in god and Jesus think about this. More people have died in the name of Jesus than any other human ever. Including Hitler. Does that mean Jesus is worse than Hitler?
Mar 4 2007 2:03PM
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almostaskier
Posts: 13809 - Karma: 93
*pat pat* there there boy, it's ok... you don't need to be afraid, the monsters are gone...
Mar 4 2007 2:09PM
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wilkesyachtingco
Posts: 4425 - Karma: 41
the most idiotic question ever posed on NS?

i know thats a highly competitive contest, but if you read what you just wrote... i think youll know deep down inside that youre the winner! congrats!
Mar 4 2007 2:23PM
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John.
Posts: 1327 - Karma: 11
Agreed! Congratulations to the poser of this incredibly ridiculous question
Mar 4 2007 3:25PM
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*DrewT*
Posts: 7768 - Karma: 480
Hitler wanted the deaths, I really doubt jesus did. But I do agree with you for the most part. People kill in the name of their god, pretty big downside to religion I'd say
Mar 4 2007 5:02PM
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Capt.Flannel
Posts: 10928 - Karma: 36
hah, well you may or may not believe in religion or belong to one, but did you really just say that religion isn't real or did you fuck up your wording?
Mar 4 2007 5:05PM
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9o2mdkNamzz1_1
Posts: 2113 - Karma: 10
hahahaha
Mar 4 2007 9:54PM
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9o2mdkNamzz1_1
Posts: 2113 - Karma: 10
hahahaha
Mar 4 2007 9:54PM
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ThaLetterM.
Posts: 8609 - Karma: 1,612
i think the better question is: did jesus take shits? if so, did he have to wipe, or because he was the son of god his poop was residuless?
Mar 4 2007 11:10PM
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unchyll
Posts: 4554 - Karma: 96
holy shit.... hahahaha
yessssss
as for jesus, he was a just some dude that died for what he believed in and thats sweet but tons of people back in the day died for that
Mar 4 2007 11:20PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
i dont belive in god, jesus, christianity or anything else
Mar 4 2007 11:22PM
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slaydave
Posts: 1697 - Karma: 62
yay
Mar 4 2007 11:36PM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
my question of "is Jesus worse than Hitler" is designed to make people think critically about religion. Not to be conclusively answered. In my experience the more educated people become the less that god plays role in their lives. I know people disagree but I believe that religion is the biggest mistake of humanity and has divided the people of this earth for long enough. So are we better off with religion...
Mar 5 2007 11:41PM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
Ya smart people believe in god. Michio Kaku, Steven Hawkins, Einstein, and many more astro-physicists believe in god but most of them do not believe in organized religion. They know the complexities of the universe and know that religion was created to control people.

Also in my opinion religion cheapens life giving people an excuse for taking it. I would feel much better about dropping a bomb in a crowded city if I knew that the innocent people would go to heaven.

Its just so foolish. You say you are an atheist and then say that some people need religion. Are the lesser than you? Are they the lower human that cant comprehend complexities so ignorance is bliss?

We need to get rid of this lie and embrace the human condition and the goodness that is inherent in our lives. I can see correlations to the crusades with the war in Iraq how far does the hate go, where and when do we draw a line with those in control twisting the wholesome ideals of religion into their self serving ideals.

Mar 6 2007 12:01AM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
https://www.newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/249359/
Mar 6 2007 12:02AM
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Steezysmurf
Posts: 1663 - Karma: 3
i think he'd give an angry pirate
Mar 6 2007 12:16AM
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SHastatahoe
Posts: 3414 - Karma: 19
Um, to say that jesus wouldnt have sex is retarded. He was a man. Just because your god's son doesnt mean you dont do it. I mean god fucked mary to make jesus, so why cant jesus fuck someone else?
Mar 6 2007 1:29AM
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ZavierV
Posts: 5077 - Karma: 100
brosesh, it's WWPD? what would Pollard do?
Mar 6 2007 1:43AM
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SmoKinSkier
Posts: 5501 - Karma: 20
I see ur point and i will certainly not argue against it cuz in many ways i would agree...but its futile to think u could convince even .01% of religious ppl to just burn their bible and say eh ur right there is no god or afterlife its all BS...

ITs just never goin to happen its embedded into humanity as much as the need for oxygen to most...Plus I get 5 weeks off classes to ski becuz of Jesus so i cant complain...


IF u really want to change things write your own guidlines for society in a sort of non religious religion...BURY it real deep in the sand and in a few hundred years when ppl find it who knows maybe u will have ur very own religion!
Mar 6 2007 1:44AM
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leckett1
Posts: 6476 - Karma: 294
i live my life by "what would Kyle Leckett do?" im my own lord.
Mar 6 2007 9:11AM
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almostaskier
Posts: 13809 - Karma: 93
you must be rad at parties. "serve me bitch! i am the LORD" :P
Mar 6 2007 11:14AM
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nitsua
Posts: 4631 - Karma: 726
hahaha
Mar 6 2007 11:28AM
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Tasche
Posts: 5422 - Karma: 99
very true words.

I hope there is an after life, because I am probably going to go to hell. And it is going to be a fucking sick ass party because everyone I know is going to be there.
Mar 6 2007 11:43PM
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gnarski
Posts: 116 - Karma: 10
i hear jesus was a pimp and tested all his hoes
Mar 7 2007 1:24AM
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Nihiriju
Posts: 2061 - Karma: 27
i'm on the same page.  I might believe in some sort of over all good, after life and things like that, but not any traditional forms of organized relgion. its all people trying to control other people. The reasons I would liek to believe in somehting is beacsue it is very comforting to imagine that you are not in this alone.....and i have seen shit, weather its my imagination or not who knows. 
Mar 7 2007 3:43AM
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fappy
Posts: 2960 - Karma: 15
haha can you picture the prince of peace blowing a huge load all over a hot little israelite's face
Mar 7 2007 3:55AM
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aja_kiki
Posts: 2354 - Karma: 51
haha youre so going to hell for saying that like oh em gee!!!!
Mar 7 2007 10:39AM
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lushlaxstr
Posts: 3063 - Karma: 41
jew
Mar 7 2007 10:53AM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,012
real question is "could jesus create a boulder that is too heavy for him to lift?"
Mar 7 2007 4:00PM
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