to start this story I would like to declare that I am not a smart person. but yea... so there was this bee flying around my room and I decided that it had to die... so it landed on the window and I walked up and flicked the fucker in the head... so he droped. and I thought he was done... lyeing on the ground twitching and shit... but hte bastard was faking! I picked him up by the wing and just as I did that he swung his ass around and planted one right on the end of my finger... the fucker. so I picked him up with a dust pan and tossed him outside to fight again.... next time I will get the bastard.
'CJ is the freakin' post creating god' - *cowboy*
'CJ is a the lord of the hotties' - EC-Andrew
'You are my hero CJ' - Diabhal
'CJ makes the world go round, without him, my life would be a mass of dead flies sitting on a log of dog shit' - MiKeE
'yes cj, you are a god. If it weren't for you, I don't know what I'd do... I'd just have to die!' - ElasmoSkiChick
'god cock and balls cj, god damn cock and balls' - SamCaylor
'cj, don’t leave, you’re our god' -CanadianSkiGod
You kill a bee, then you fing a worm. You squeeze the dead bee's stinger out of the back of its body with a stick. Then you find a needle or pin and dip it into the little thing that is attatched to the then of the stinger (The venom gland). Then you take the venom comered stinger and prick the live worm. It starts to twitch and roll over itsself uncontrollable, and then it just dies instantly. Its prety cool to watch...
You kill a bee, then you find a worm. You squeeze the dead bee's stinger out of the back of its body with a stick. Then you find a needle or pin and dip it into the little thing that is attatched to the end of the stinger (The venom gland). Then you take the venom covered stinger and prick the live worm. It starts to twitch and roll over itsself uncontrollably, and then it just dies instantly. Its prety cool to watch...
last summer... there was a hole in the ground about 2 feet in circumference, so i looked in, a million bees. i sed to myself 'war time' so i go grab my p-ball gun and started shootn the hole, masses of bees came out and i got stung. now i was pissed and needed more fire power. i go into the garage and fine bee killer. i squirt the shit all up in the hole makn a puddle. it wasn't killn them. im walkn back to the house super pissed with 3 bee stings now. i hit the basement and find my super soaker cps 2300. 'hell yes' i sed to myself. i go out as the sky turns crimson and the biggest battle begins. i spray in that hole like there was no tomorrow. the thick stream of water took out the bees in masses. they started to swarm me so i start defending myself shootn left and right. i ran out of water and run for the faucet. i refill and go back in. by the time i was out of water, the sun had been squeezing its last efforts to keep the sun lighted, and the hole was filled with bee chemical water. bees floated at the top and a few straggling bees flew around me. i walk away with a total count of 9 bee stings. the next day i look in the whole which now has no water and there was about a three inch pile of dead bees. and still there were some rebuilding their colony. so i run the hose plow it in the hole and fill it up. it is now filled in, i have one.
haha...I hate bees...I get all puffy around where the stings are.
Once, on a canoe trip, I stepped on a log that happened to be a nest full of baldfaced hornets. Holy shit on a stick, those are the meanest things I have ever come across, and I think they're pretty poisonous too. So they swarmed around me and my friend and we ran to the campsite and jumped into the pond nearby. Scariest thing ever. I ended up with 5 stings on my legs, 2 on my arms, and 1 on my neck. So painful...we had to move camping spots because the hornets were really pissed off.
bees suck...straight up
when i was little, i was scared shitless of them, i got stung so much, i got stung when i jumped offf my diving board when i lived in new york, like mid air sting...it sucked
the same day my older brother got stung 7 times on his head, he had to go to the hospital, i was scared so i stayed in the water where the evil bitches couldn't get me
Jumped in a pond!? I thought that was a no-no. Cause they just wait till you run out of air then you come up and the attack!
And the Dragon comes in the NIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHT!!!
8 years old, wanting to catch a shit load of yelow jackets. dress up in ski shit head to toe thinking im invinsible, but i had those little knit glovs cause icoudnt find my others. so i have me jar ready to catch some of them. it was in a dead log, i kick the log and fuckloads swarm out, and im like haha, fuckers cant do shit. i fill up me jar but then they start stinging my hand again and again, ouch. i run and threwthe gloves of. had like 6 stings. go back an hour later in shorts and shit to retrieve the gloves, thinking its all good. grab one glove and like 6 dudes come out and start stinging me, 6 mre stings. go back to get the other one later, they sting me again. finally i dump gas on the log and burned em, it was nice
Last summer my friend had a huge bees nest in his yard. It was in a crack in his house and at night it would get cold and their wings would stick to their bodies so that they cant fly. we would pick them put and torture them and stuff. It was sweet. We also battled them with hoses during the day when they could actually fly. I don't think I ever got stung once doing it. I was pretty lucky.
its really swell when a bee hides in your pop can, and then, when you go to take a sip, it stings you in the lip. then you look all funny with a fat lip and you talk funny. and then you never want to drink pop again.
'You two are the blackest white chicks I have ever met.' ~Danny M
I had a story like that when I was driving to whistler. I stuck my hand out the window the feel the fresh air, as I was doing that some huge bee smashed into my hand and fucking exploded. It was crazy, half of the bee flew into the car and started walking around with a half a body, it was fucking crazy. I thought I got stung for half a second, but realized his stinger was like 500 metres behind us. So I just squished it and its still probably in some kleenex on the side of the road.
a boldface hornet once stung me in my calf/ankle and it bit me to so my entire leg knee down was the same size as my fatest part of my calf for a week but the worst part is that on the 3rd day i got a bunch of blisters with this clear puss in them... only thing that helped was rubbing it on the tramp mat... it's sounds dumb but if you have something swollen the tramp matt feels really good...
Officially Unable To Spell
bees huh, well nothing like getting some WD-40 and a lighter and lighten there asses up in mid air, lil fireballs in the sky....so pretty!
you should have seen the load i busted after the 40 days. i could have filled up a water bottle with it - publicenemy1023 (classy eh)
dooood..... one time I was driving along with the window open, and I felt something crawling on my neck... and I thought it was like a fly or something... so I went to brush it off..... and I got like a whole hand full of legs and shit.... so obviously I started freaking out and swearving all over the road and I tossed it to the ground, regained controle of the car and looked down at this GIANT preying mantis... like this fucker was HUGE. so I tossed it out the window and kept going. then I saw this hot chick holding one of those slow / stop signs at a construction zone. the end.
yeah i hate bees, i have so many bee stories and ive been stung by them more times than i can count so heres my first one
i was a little kid and i was out in my sand box and this wasp flew up to me and stung me, so while it was on my arm stinging me i hit it and it fell off, so then its laying on the ground faking its death just like the bee that dave stung did and i picked it up, the same thing happened to me that happened to dave, the wasp stung me again, so then i stepped on it to kill it and it died
then another time my baseball team had lost a game to this crappy team and my coach was really pissed off, so he was yelling at us and shit and people were talking and he got extra pissed and he was screaming and then a small wasp got under my hat and started stinging me again, the little fucker stung me like 8 times and i finally couldnt take it anymore and took my hat off and slammed it into the groud, and it turned out that my friends sunglasses were also on the hat and i broke them but the bee was finally gone, so anyways my coach got all pissed at me for making noise and he made us run more, but the wasp got out of my hat and i was happy
Creator of the NS Cousin Exchange Program
me think u need realize that we dun give a fuck..' cams
my friend and i were playing soccer, and i kicked the ball into a bush. now being a lazy kind of guy, i told him to get it. the problem was he was allergic to bees...so he ended up getting stund like 4 times, and had to go to emerg at the hospital. he was in rough shape. and the worst part was that i never got that soccer ball back. but it doesnt matter, cuz i dont even like soccer.
Great stories! One time at work me and this other guy found this whole next of hornets.. And we didnt have anything to till it will, so we found this really strong chemical, like greasecuter which is like acid, and put it in spray bottles.. The bee's would come flying out of the nest and we'd get them in midair. They would fly around a little bit the would just drop off. We killed so many bee's with that stuff last summer. It was awesome.
And the Dragon comes in the NIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHT!!!