im pretty sure he was at a concert on april 29th 2006 at middlebury vermont. i'm not gonan say im positive, but i was there, and a guy by the name of rahzel came out and beatboxed. he said "yo dis is rahzel", and everyone went, "hey guys, it's rahzel, u know, the beatboxer, and he's still alive. i have no reasoning to think beforehand taht he was dead, but now it is official he is not dead. but then rahzel said, "yo, i don't know if u guys know this, but im gonna live to be 96 years old." everyone was like "WHAT?!". That's when it really started getting interesting.He pulled out dual uzis and shot half the audience. i was like "fuck that shit"(actually i said "what a meany")and i ran at him full speed. he tried to shoot me but the martial art lessons i took prior to this day had given me the bullet dodging abilities i knew i would need by the time i was 17. (it's not easy being a gangsta in vermont, but it sure feels good)
i jumped on the stage. he aimed the uzi point blank at my face. before he could even think of pulling the trigger on me i elbowed the the gun, releasing the clip. he was in for a treat now because his other gun he had just given to his dj for backup. we all know djs are quick with their hands, so i went or him next. he fired the gun towards me. with lightning speed i was able to pick up and crateful of his records filled with old barbara steisand and dolly parton classics, and throw them back at him. he shot them as they came his way. i pulled out a vinyl of michael jackson thriller and went for the kill. i placed my hand in the center hole of the vinyl and jumped. in mid air i threw back and slashed his neck. it actually went completely through his neck. with his head still on the record, i put it on the turnatable and said "now that's what i call a thriller".
it wasn't over yet though. as the living half of the audience ran in fear, rahzel was stnding it the middle of it all holding a samourai sword. ooo boy, i've been waiting for a battle like this since i reached puberty,(which of course was 3 1/2 days ago). i jumped down off the stage onto the bloody floor. i found a dead man by the name of jeffery (backstory: jeffery was a dear friend of mine and said that he wanted to someday be part of the most epic battle known to mankind. i told him that i would do anything to make sure it happened. we later played Yatzee. (We only played it because we like screaming out YAHTZEE.)) With Jeffery's words in my mind, i then proceeded to rip out his spinal cord and use it as my weapon.
rahzel and i ran towards each other at ground breaking speeds. i went for the lash, but rahzel was more prepared for this fight than i. he dodged my spinal whip wit hease and slashed my back. that's gonna leave a mark.
i landed on the ground in agonizing pain. i looked back at rahzel, the smile on his face and the background music he was making with his beatbox skills not only angered me, it intrigued me.
anyway, i went for another attack, with his preoccupation of beatboxing he never saw me coming. i lashed him right in the eye. his eye exploded and covered the room with a jelly like substance. he screamed and said, "this has only begun". he grabbed my whip and threw it at another audience member. he/she died instantly.
what was i to do? with no weapon i was sure to lose, or even worse, lose my honor. i looekd over near the entrance, i then noticed that there were multiple objec tthat confiscated before entry. i saw hatchets, knives, bows and arrows. and that's when i saw it. a katana made by the man himself, my sensay. it must have travelled a long journey to end of here. some say it was fate that it was there, others say luck. i just say coinky dink(coincidence).
i pulled out the katana. this is what real battles are made of. as i picked it up i head rahzel running toward me. i looked at the reflection in my katana. i then turned and block his swing. i jumped over him and landed behind. as a swung he proceeded to do the same exact thing i just did. we did that for about 5 minutes. on the last execution i landed on his throat. now he had no batboxing skills. this was his living. he yelled and began to cry. i gave him his space for a brief moment(u gotta do that during battles like these. have some battle ettiquette guys) after he wiped his tears we went at it some more. i slice here a dodge there, a pelvic thrust over there.
i knew i had to make my move. i noticed before the concert started taht the dj was holding a suitcase that said "bomb" on it. i had no clue what it could have been at teh time, but now i knew what it was, it was a bomb. i saw a red button on stage that was to detonate it. i ran for it, but rahzel grabbed my leg. he let mego then gave a swing at me. this was teh end of it all. he swung. but what happened, he misssed me entirely. i then realized that he had no good depth perception because he had only one eye. i got and we fought some more. i knew what i had to do, i had to hit that button and blow up the place before it's too late. i picked up the spine pf jefffery and gave him one last task. i threw it towards teh button.
(now this is where everything goes in slow motion). i turned back at rahzel, he knew what was about to happen. he threw his sword at me and it went in my arm. "agghhhhh" it hurt like a bung. i pulled it out and went for the exit. as i ran towards rahzel to get past to him get to the door. i realized he had another clip for his gun. he loaded it and commenced the firing. i took the sword drenched in my own blood and deflected the bullets. i was getting closer and closer, just as the spine cord was getting closer and closer to the red button. i placed the sword out in front of me and struck it through rahzel. i said "rest is peace pablo". and flipped him over my head and kicked him toward the stage. ran for the door. i then heard the red button get hit by the spine.
oh shit. i ran for my life . a wall of fire came full throttle towards me as i got to the door.
i got past the gates of hell and ran outside. the blast went through the door and i went flying 700 meters in the air and landed in a bubble field. (i didn't know there were bubbles fields until that day. i always wondered where palmolive got such nice bubbles.)
it was over. rahzel was dead and i had another chapter in my story to tell my grandkids. in the book of life, there are no weak chapters only weak people that get annihilated by me.
so yeah i guess rahzel is dead then. my bad.
Anyway, a gas station we pass. We got gas, and ran off to get grub.It was a nice little pub in the middle on nowhere. Anywhere woulda been better. I ordered enchiladas and I ate 'em, Ali had the fruit punch.