driving in my jeep (top down, doors off) these girls were driving next to me and couldn't get into the lane so I heard "AHH! Why can't I get into the damn lane!" and without realizing that doors were off and top was down, I yelled "Because you're ugly!" and they all turned and stared at me. They were so sad.
Money's clean cause we scrub it good. With guns and gasoline we're gonna save the world. Nothing's obscene if we only close our eyes, boys and girls, welcome to this Joyride. -dmb
my bad. i may have actually said: hi im mr. id like to fuck you. she actually responed quite well considering she was 19 or so and i was 15 at the time and running around in only wet boxers (i had just had a spa.) the night ended with 6 absinth shots and me puking my guts out. good times
Nihilist: We believe in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing. And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your chonson.
The Dude: Excuse me?
Nihilist: I said
Nihilist: "We'll cut off your johnson"!
aight aight dis is a good one. so i was at dis party and i wanted to get wit dis girl calld amber. so i be mackin you know playin tha game gettin her all ready and shit. so i'm just about to make tha move and move tha girl to tha next room and put my love makin to work when all of a suden her muthafuckin can jumps on tha sofa and i sneeze tha bigest sneez i ever done in tha lyfe.i sneez all over tha bitchs face and she covered in at least a galon of saliva and snot. well i guess i didnt really say nothin but my actions spoke louda than my words if you get my meanin. stupid thing to have happen but it wadnt realy my fault. stupid cat ruined tha eveinin.
"What the world doesn't understand," says Craven, still zigzagging through the parking lot, "is that what we don't have enough of is cold, not heat."
Some people talk it, some people live it, some people walk it-some people give it... deal with it.
D-Loc AKA Shaky Bones... Original, Unique, and One of a Kind.
im pretty sure that tobacco resin is poisonous so smoking it through your bong is probably nota good idea -salomonman
One time when i was at a party and really drunk. I lay down too sleep on the couch.Then this really hot chick came over to me and asked "I'm afraid of the dark,can I sleep with you?" Since I was so tired and drunk,I replied"Nah,I'll sleep alone" Then i woke up six hours later or so,and was just like:"Nooooo,what have I done!"
if it was real absinthe then it was 180 proof, and 6 shots of that is basically like 12-15 shots of anything else. plus it would have wormwood which could potentially screw with your head alot. but anyways.
on a date at a restaurant, staring off a bit:
her) what are you staring at?
me) that girl has a really nice ass. .. oh shit.
true that...guys dont like nice cars...girls like nice cars and guys use the cars for bait...also...guys dont like comfy shit in his house...girls like comfy shit ....if a guy could fuck a girl in a cardboard box..they wouldnt even buy a house.....
Richard Vernon: False alarms are really funny, aren't they. What if your home, what if your family . . . what if your dope was on fire?
John Bender: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.
i was cookin dinner and my older brother had this super skinny tiny girl over, well when she asked what we were having, me being an idiot said whats it matter your just going to throw it up once we finish.
ive said many others. just cant remember them.
seriously though, some of you assholes are going to get all the way through this before you realize your reading my signature.
"well if you feed your cat mercury its probably going to become retarded."~wild B