Ode to Newschool Skiing's Douchebags.

To every assfuck that thinks they are the shit and is ruining this goddamn sport. Keep this shit fun kids, don't be like this.



Holy shit, I want to get on ________'s dick
the way he throws his 1260-no-grabs, they're my favorite trick!
Some people say that style's way more cool,
but that's so gay! I'd rather huck myself around like an absolute tool.

Did you see that gaper kid in the park, those racing skis he had on?
hahaha man, no twin tip?! he might as well have on a bra and a thong.
what the hell is he thinking, wearing pants at his waist?
he should really go buy a pair of double x-ls, and do it with haste.

I really love salomon and atomic,
they do so much for the sport! they're so freaking sick!
Sure, they've dropped a few athletes the moment they've gotten stale,
But look! their products made with shitty construction just went on sale!

I saw this kid do the lamest thing I've ever seen today
I've never seen someone do it before, but im pretty sure it was gay.
I guess I'll have to make a thread about it in the SG,
just so all the kids with high post counts can tell me how to be.

I feel really cool because I learned how to do a truckdriver,
it's the only grab I'll do, the only brand i'll wear is siver.
I don't think it's really necessary to learn anything new,
trying anything i haven't seen a million times before?! Haha, FUCK YOU!

Like I'm going to risk my reputation on the ski hill,
I think that kid that does sick cork 7s finally thinks I'm chill!
For the next railjam I'm at, I've been working on my 450 ons,
Some kids do easy shit like nosepresses, but I'm really cool, like the Fonz.

Skiing needs to get bigger! More exposure! Gnarlier death gaps!
None of this "stylishness" or "innovation" business, not for us chaps!

But now if you excuse me, I think I go need to make a post about
Tanner Hall.... hmm... i can never remember these days, is he in or out?