please note- substantial portions of this story i have second hand, including the bit were my buddy verbally defeats two burly policemen in an exchange on insults in from the back of the paddy wagon. he claims it, im not totally sure i believe him
last night was one of 'those' nights. you all know what i mean. our whole crew went out to the market, for this girls birthday party. me and two friends decided, fuck bars, lets go blaze by the canal. so we went. but we were really stoned, so on the way we convince my friend to pee on a cop car. so the two of us are standing by when WHAM! out of nowhere two fucking huge policemen pin my friend to the car, handcuff him and are telling me and the other guy to "step away from the car. step AWAY from the car". fucking po. he didnt even get the piss out, their car was clean. and then they start going througyh his pockets...and his bag....uhh...ok fake id.....check.....bottle of vodka check...smoking tin with 3 gs of weed...check.. . the policemen are not amused, but theyre douchebags. the tall ones entire vocabulary seems to consist of "so you think thats funny? peeing on a cop car? [does something intimidating, like tighnetng the cuffs or slamming my friend on the car and starting to pat him down} so do you think thats funny NOW? EH? WHAT? YOU TALKING TO ME?"
but since this is canada, in the end they throw him into their van, which has this dog cage like cell in hte back and drive hime home, wake up his dad, give him a 120 dollar ticket, pocket his bud for later use and bounce. his dad blows his stack, my friend dodges 0past him, runs out of the house, realized oh hey, i still need to pee, i never got the cahnce. so he busts a piss by the bustop, fuck OC transpo cops show up and try to get him......
he ran though. me and the other guy in the meantime hit a bean, started beef with some big passerby, and insulted this peurto rican guy because i told him i didnt have any change, when he was actually wasnt a bum and just wanted directions downtown. then we tried to go to the cop station to pick up my friend, but were too high.
the moral of the story is a) dont piss on cop cars, b)uhh....weed causes trouble. anyone who actually took the time to read all of this, congratulations, you made it, its done. fuck tha police.
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no senators soOOonnN, it aint me, it aint meEEE, I aint no fortunate oOONNE