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Some Things Not to Say During Sex
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- You woke me up for that?
- Try breathing through your nose.
- A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
- But whipped cream makes me break out.
- On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
- So much for mouth-to-mouth.
- Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
- Try not to smear my make-up!
- Got any penicillin?
- I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
- I want a baby!
- So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
- Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
- Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
- I think you have it on backwards.
- When is this supposed to feel good?
- Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
- Did I remember to take my pill?
- That leak better be from the waterbed!
- I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
- No, really... I do this part better myself!
- It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
- You're almost as good as my ex!
- You look younger than you feel.
- Perhaps you're just out of practice.
- They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
- I have a confession...
- Did you come yet, dear?
- When would you like to meet my parents?
- Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
- Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
- Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
- How long do you plan to be 'almost there'?
Fear is the mind killer!
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another girl's name
What has a whale done for you lately?
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-everybody looks funny naked
-did I mention the video camera
-could you pass me the remote control
-do you accept visa?
-I was really trying to pick up your friend
-I hope you look this good sober
-I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs
some of those your probably listed, I didnt really read them all
|D|U|N|C|A|N|
'Jeez, he gets more excited over that than playboy'
-My dad talking to my mom after the new Freeze came
'Now I understand why you like skiing so much'
-My dad talking to me a few days later after 'reading' the new freeskier
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I have aids
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Did you know the pen is stronger than the knife. And did you know that they can kill you once but they cant kill you twice. Did you know destruction of the flesh is not the ending of life, fear not of the anti christ. Did you know that I exist before the earth and did you know that I exist before the earth...Your body is just a vehicle transporting the soul, it whats inside the vehicle is beauty to behold...It was written up in the book of life.
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hi mom
keep on keepin' on - Joe Dirt
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my chick was pissed cause i called her jon while we were having sex....
Val d'irene represent!!!!!!!!!!
NS media fo ever!!!!
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its ok to fantasize about the pros, especially jon, hes one hot peice of ass
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what if you call her Enrique Iglesias on accident, how would you go about covering that up?
''There's no fruit on the tree without the roots.''
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did she yell like a dying cat? if so then yeah Enrique sounds about right
-Mike
'Isn't 14 legal for everyone?' - Dave Pauls
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now don't you go talking about Enrique like that, you hear!
''There's no fruit on the tree without the roots.''
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lol my favorite is 'on second thought lets turn off the lights'
lol
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seth
Fairygirl: Why must you be so damn good looking? Why?? lol
nipe: Thats right Diabhal, because we're skiers
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wait, dont put that there
Jesusjr.com
The day isn't complete without a good texan checkin' session
Wasted State Represent!!
I like my boots like my women, rear entry.
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i have a penis (applys to girls and transexuals...you know who you are!)
i hate cottage cheese
what's that smell?
i need another beer
yo yo i be representing the motha fuckin' littleton crew
so what the fuck you pussies gonna do?
created free-stylers.com for my town
go view our shit, we're holdin' it down
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'spank my ass and call me Charlie'
Ski,Sex and Rock ´n´roll
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'only powder is better than sex'
Ski,Sex and Rock ´n´roll
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i was talking about reedy
Val d'irene represent!!!!!!!!!!
NS media fo ever!!!!
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-what the hell is that?!
Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
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my ex once told me she wanted a baby. any wonder why she's my ex
'Ski to live. Live to keep'em pointed //'
-Dean Cummings
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you're less frisky than your sister/mother/grandmother.
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someone find the messanger, and don't forget to shoot.
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that is the same way my ex felt when i fingered her
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or 'I've had better'
'Don't like hesh - Don't like rap - kicked ol' sally cos she fat - I'm a jerk I'm a punk took a shower cos I stunk - smoked a bong killed a cat - had my nuts attacked by rats dad got nude - I wore a thong - for a hobby I make bombs' Tom DeLounge
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-don't worry...they said those sores are temporary
luv,
Sonya
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just because i don't care, doesn't mean i don't understand!
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- Wow, your almost as good as your sister
-damn... would u mind passing me my viagra
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'Don't be a pussy Waldie. It is impossible to get hurt on this jump' my words to Steven Waldie just before he hit the jump and broke his coller bone.
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reedy, olson both hot peices of ass in my opinion
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your sister could get my fat dick hard. you bitch.
Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom
www.fateclothing.com
any fate questions or orders, let me know.
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oh shit, the rubber ripped
''There's no fruit on the tree without the roots.''
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in response to^
shut up and keepgoing bitch, it dont matter, we can't stop now.
Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom
www.fateclothing.com
any fate questions or orders, let me know.
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-whered it go?-
-Skiing is like sex...when you're done all you want to do is fall asleep-
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o i forgot to tell u....i have a child
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Just let me put down my wooden leg.
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Vote rebel!
'Can you move your fazooli? I don't have reverse.' - M. Harvey
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I ran into my ex the other day... the I hit reverse and hit HIM again.
Oakley makes the best eyewear and clothing in the world!
Check out: www.jibculture.com
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are you sure its in??
_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_
SOUTHEAST REPRESENTIN'
later..EMILIE
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www.appskimtn.com
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in response ^ i thought its been in for the past 20 minutes...wasnt it?
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seth
Fairygirl: Why must you be so damn good looking? Why?? lol
nipe: Thats right Diabhal, because we're skiers
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i just thought of this one.
- Hmm, I guess penis size IS genetic.
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brooke know what not to say
in the words of my house:
Your not AKL... SO FUCK YOU!
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-so what was your name again
-you have what
-i gotta tell my gf ill be home late
-dont worry it usually take this long
-ure sure this isnt ur first time?
the turn off the lightsone was great
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- haha look your boob is bigger than the other
- shit ive never seen such a hairy gine
- female llamas cost between 3,000-10,000 dollars
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you suck, I'm gonna take a beer
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-I guess i can make it home in time for ER
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- careful, wrong hole
Made in Tasmania.
Suitable for ages 5+.
Set includes lots of guns and ski equipment.
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LOOK! An elephant!..oh....sorry, thats just your ass.
A proud memeber of the NS.com Cousin Exchange Program
SUck My AnTeAtEr
The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.
stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon
My going rate is 25$
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fuck, i dropped the remote.
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I am about an 8, i will sit next to a girl that is a 6 and drink till she is a 10 and then bring her home
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~Shit, James gives better head then you!
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'skogen-chick likes box. Thats hot.'
~Detective
'if you were doing one of them doggystyle and she flexed her butt cheeks, your dick would get ripped off.'
~Alpentalik on the subject of Serena and Venus Williams
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Ok here is what you have to do for some great sex.
Start off fucking the chick doggy style. Then you lean over her back and grab her tits. Whisper in hher ear, 'Damn, you are the ugliest bitch i ever fucked!' Then you hang on for the ride.
I like to call it rodeo style.
[Penis removed by moderators]
You think are hot shit but really you are just cold diarrhea.
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a variation of someone else's 'rodeo style' this one is called the bucking bronco.
you are having sex with a girl, like dogs do, of course, you lean over and whisper in her ear, 'i have AIDS...' and then, she starts bucking around like crazy, haven't had the opportunity to try it, but it sure sounds like fun... if you're the kind of person who likes that sort of thing, which i don't... really, i don't...
What has a whale done for you lately?
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haha! cottage cheese ass!
'could you lift up your gunt so I can find your punn?'
A proud memeber of the NS.com Cousin Exchange Program
SUck My AnTeAtEr
The more you want something, the less likely it will happen.
stealin and dealin screamin semen like a demon
My going rate is 25$
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-Man it smells worse than my gym sock
-Your daughter gives head a lot better
-Holy cow my truck could fit in here!
-Don't worry I don't have to get up early, I dont work
-My captain still wears his hat
-My cousin is open for a three-some
-The monkey at the pet store works a lot harder than you
-Wow! You and your sister both scream the same
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Keep it live 24/7 365
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