JOKES!!!!

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

oh haha

~~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~~
#Cut the Jibba Jabb Crazy Fools! Start Skiing!#
*Be greatful, everyday, for snow, mountains, gravity and skiing*

Two tomatoes are crossing the road

One says to the other 'LOOK OUT'....SPLAT
The other says 'WHAT'......SPLAT


This is a fucking funny joke. its been posted before but for some reason people did not like it????????????

u know what's funny?

jokes

what?

whats red, silver, and wiggles on the ground??






-a baby with fork stuck thru its torso

hahahaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhahahaha!

you fucking moron!!!! i am perfect in that picture, yes i could have my legs a lil forward, but they are fine. how can you tell if my toes are out? they are not in the picture, i have to kick my horse to get the stride in, and so he lands on the right lead. my position it perfect, my back is arched and i am close to the saddle, not jumping up my horses neck, and i am relising over the jump, so that he can jump, and not fall on his face. my legs are strong, my heels are just down you moron! and i am the only person who rides him, cause i am the only one who can control him.
ya my horse has areally pretty jump, but there are no good pictures of him with like his ears forward, which sucks. but he is a very pretty 17 hand thourobreed (sp?). he has great lines...
i'll post some better pictures later
Posted by:
skibrdingbitch

girl. close to the saddle.. HA! your ass is sticking out! ur heels are out because u can tell by your stirrup irons.. u shouldnt need to kick your horse to get a stride in.. and girl NO RELEASE! ur hands are by his ears.. u would look alot prettier if ur but was back in the saddle and u realeased more with your reins than with your arms. and yes your horse is very nice.. and u contradicted yourself.. u just said u had a pro ride him. and now u ride him all by yourself. ahha good going... and well the toes thing isnt so much of a big deal lots of people do it. but why kick. any small leg aid would tell your horse to lengthen his stride. kicking just makes your go look bad. Posted by:
Canadian_kicker

um actually, i have to kick my horse to get the stride, because i do not use spurs cause if i do he bucks. so i kick him to get the stride, and i kick him so that he jumps well, so that he doesn't refuse. you bring your arms forward, so that after you jump you don't slam on his back and so you can get the lead change. what i meant by my ass off the saddle kinda thing was, you have to close your hip angle. like keep your 'crotch' neer the palm of the saddle. so your not jumping up his neck. my legs are not weak at all, it is just how i jump, and you brought your legs back the same exact way... Posted by:
skibrdingbitch

you 'grab the braids' when you jump, so you remember to release so like your horse can go over the jump.. Posted by:
skibrdingbitch

yeah i did. and my toes are out and my legs back.. reason being we rocked that rail hard. so our stridding up to that jump was way off and the jump real choppy. sending me to correct Posted by:
Canadian_kicker

save a horse ride me Posted by:
ski_Bum1080

timmy that was my joke! i hate you.


anyways, there's this like joke, but its too much to type, and stuff.

Brody
i wont drop out of high school for skiing, mom

www.fateclothing.com
any fate questions or orders, let me know.

the priest of a church is retiring, and he has the new priest over for dinner. when the new priest comes over he notices how beautiful the old priests housekeeper is. at dinner the old preist shows the new priest his golden vase that has been passed down from generation to generation. they talk and finish their dinner, and finally the young priest leaves. when he leaves the old priest notices his vase is missing. he asks the housekeeper about it and she knows nothing. a few days later the old priest asks the new priest if he knew anything about what happened. the young priest replied 'i'm not saying you are sleeping with your housekeepr, i'm not saying you aren't sleeping with your housekeeper, but if you were sleeping in your own bed you would have found your golden vase!'

god, i always loved that one


'Anyone got any hot sisters they wanna sell?'
-skipimp_

the baby with the fork was mad funny

what does a black women get when she has an abortion?




a $50 crime stopper reward.

Whats the difference between a truck full of sand and a truck full of dead babies??


You can't get the sand out with a pitchfork.
Don't sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things!

DAMNIT NO! the stick joke was MY joke.

How do you cricumsize a redneck?

Kick his sister in the jaw
'cause i don't get twon days of in a road silly' me trying to make sense

'why is panties plural but bra is singular?'

-are you still drinking jf?
-no no no... thats uhhh all behind me, why? are you buying?

Why did the picture go to jail????



Because it was framed ahahaha......i got that one off i popsicle stick.
++++++++++++++++++++
Keep it live 24/7 365
*Proud Member Of The Hobum Posse

Here is one for the the newfie on the site, the one and only beanzerelly

You might be a Newfie Jedi if.....

1) You ever heard the phrase, 'May the force be witt ya by'.'

2) Your Jedi robe is made of seal skin.

3) You have ever used your light saber to quarter a moose.

4) Both wings of your X-Wing are done over with sheet metal and
rivets and are covered with polybond.

5) You have ever eaten bottled Ewok.

6) You have ever used a land-speeder to get away from wildlife
officers.

7) The best part of spending time on Dagobah is the great weather.

8) Even C3-PO cannot understand what you are saying.

9) You have used Jedi mind tricks to help you drag off from the
Sundance.

10) You have ever used the force to convince a Human Resources
Canada officer to give you unemployment insurance checks.

11) Your father has ever said to you, 'Come on by' son, come on
over 'ere to the dark side and have a Dominion witt yer old man.'

12) You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense
electro-shock thingy to scare off mosquitoes on May 24th weekend.

13) You have ever used the Millennium Falcon to smuggle booze and
cigarettes from St. Pierre.

14) You have a Newfoundland dog painted on the hood of your
land-speeder.

15) You think Andy Wells and Brian Tobin are part of the dark
side of the force.

16) You have ever fantasized about Danielle House wearing her
hair like Princess Leah.

17) You have a hitch on the back of your land speeder for hauling
your trailer to gravel pits.

18) Chewbacca is the lead of your dog sled team.

19) You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with
snowmobile skis.

20) You were the only person drinking Newfie Screech during the
cantina scene.

21) If you hear . . . 'Luke, I is your father ... tell me what
the hell is your mother getting on with by'?!'

___________________
Paulou
Call me the bus driver cause im going to take you to school

A young woman walks into a store and buys one of each item.
a single TV dinner
a small jug of milk
a single serving of delissio pizza
a single tooth brush
a carton of eggs.
and as she is checking the groceries out the guy at the till about he age says 'single eh?'
she says'yeah how did you know?'
and he says'becuse your FUCKING UGLY'
Hey yo, im bringin' it down with the sick boyz crew
Ill urban jibs is what we do
People barf, when we throw down
Cause the SBC is the illest in the town.

here's another one for you newfie
You know your from Newfoundland when....
=========================================

- You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
- You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- The mosquitoes have landing lights.
- You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
- You have 10 favourite recipes for bottled moose.
- Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
- You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
- You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
- You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for local softball scores.
- At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
- The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
- Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
- You think the start of salmon fishing season is a national holiday.
- You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You find -40C a little nippy.
- The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
- You can play road hockey on skates.
- You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
- The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
- You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Newfie friends.


___________________
Paulou
Call me the bus driver cause im going to take you to school

What do you call a black chick with braces???




A Black and Decker pecker wrecker

whats the difference between toy trains and boobs...theyre originaly meant for the kids but dad always ends up playing with them.
'hold it right there sweeney toad!'

'i jerk off so much that when i have sex with my girlfriend i feel like im cheating on my dick'

'..................'

haha powder99 those newfie jokes were funny but you know the ones that say you know you are form newfoundland when?? well most of those are for labrador cuz newfoundland don't get that cold and shite! lol

is more of a cheese pick u line for men. but it was used on me for the first time this weekend..
(Taps left knee) this is christmas. (taps right knee) this is new years... can i come visit you inbetween the holidays?
I got all ready for it, positioned my fingers and shit
(Martin D)

hey five0, i think you mean what do they have in common


'Anyone got any hot sisters they wanna sell?'
-skipimp_

proud member of the hobum posse

haha darksider...that one with the pitch fork was great.

yes your right im dum
'hold it right there sweeney toad!'

'i jerk off so much that when i have sex with my girlfriend i feel like im cheating on my dick'

'..................'

I saw this one on NS somewhere, but I don't remember where:
A chicken is sitting on one side of the bed having a ciggarette. On the other side of the bed an egg is sitting in the corner with his head turned away and an unsatisfied look on it's face. After some thought the egg says to the chicken, 'well, I guess we know the answer to that question.'