The Great Ski Story Thread!

idaho? no... you da ho

That's pretty funny but more of the 'Gotta be there' moment.
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-Dan
''Condoms are for pirates! Condoms are for pirates!''

alright alright, I can see that a few of you have viewed, but have nothing to contribute...yet. So here's another one...

I took this freaky ski mask up to Bridger a few times, and we'd hide behind trees wearing it, and then ski out in front of people as they came by. Well my friend Andrew decide to climb up this tree. He was about 10 ft. up there when these two people skied by and he leaped out of the tree almost landing on them, and started chasing them while yelling loud. They starte screaming and both ended up crashing.

haha thats awesome!

this is sorta stupid but ill share anyway. a couple years back i was at killington with my brother and his friend and his friend rented skis for the first time. we were on snowshed and his friend got so annoyed from falling he slammed his boot back into the binding and broke it. i had to sit and wait with him while my brother went and got ski patrol. while we were waiting a snowboarder ran him over, and then he got up and smashed his head on the snowmaker we were sitting next to.
'i fucking bent over and spread my ass cheeks in the mirror and watched my asshole quiver as i ripped a fatty...now that was fucking insightful, not to mention inspiring.'- alpentalik

Last season 2 buddies and i climbed up mammoth head just behind the fernie resort to ride some lines. I was skiing, the other 2 were on boards. After about a hour and a half skin up to our drop in point, we discovered that the night before winds had swept all the fresh snow off and it was icy as hell. Since we'd hiked the whole way up there, we decided we were going to do it anyways. Now, directly below where i dropped in, there was a 70ft cliff (more of a really steep rocky embankment). Anyways, i dropped in, and went extra careful down the mountain, and cut off to the right of that cliff over a small spine, and then skied out to the bottom. The next guy dropped in, did the same thing and made it out. Since we had radios, everyone knew how icy it was. Now the third guy to drop in, charged it big time. Came in with huge speed, and when it came time to go over the spine to detour the cliff, he was going too fast to slow down, and lost his edge. He tumbled for around a 100ft, then stopped for a split second above the 70 footer, then slid off, smashing into the rocks twice as he fell, and landed in a heap at the bottom. We were about 1000+ feet away from him, and couldn't see anything but a black dot. Luckily we video tapped the whole thing, so we could zoom in and see that he was moving around, and thus, not dead. After a few tense moments of calling out to him, he stands up. Unbelievable. After taking the hugest fall i've ever seen, he stands up, and walks out. All he had was 2 broken bindings and a ripped back, and on advice from his chiropractor, took 2 days of rest.

If any of you come to fernie this winter, ask to see the video. It's crazy.

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'You're old enough to know that you won't get a lot of things in life because you don't have tits' - One of the 1/4 pipe builders at snowjam winnipeg to a couple young boys in response to why we'd let 3 girls on the ramp and not them

Don't think just jump.

you should send it to real TV

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'sweet i can be seen sober with you' -- my friend dom to a previously not hot, now hot girl he was meeting.

you should upload it on here so we can all see it


meh?

My friend and I were skiing and there was some people from the Pop Tarts company and they liked my friends hat so they took our picture. We took a few runs before going into the park. The entrance was really steep and messed up with a little drop you couldnt see. My friend went down straight he hit the ground he flew out of his skis and faceplanted. We spent the next hour with the ski patrol while his face was patched up. We went back to the pop tarts tent and the guy was like WHOA i just saw you what happened. It was pretty funny.

i would upload it but it's on a vhs and i don't have a video-in port, i don't have any program that could compress it to a reasonable size, i only have a 56k modem to upload it with, and the quality sucks already because when it was recorded the person was zoomed out too far for some reason, so when i taped it to vhs i zoomed in on the playback so you could actually see what was going on. So if i actually got it compressed and uploaded, you probably wouldn't be able to see anything.

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'You're old enough to know that you won't get a lot of things in life because you don't have tits' - One of the 1/4 pipe builders at snowjam winnipeg to a couple young boys in response to why we'd let 3 girls on the ramp and not them

Don't think just jump.

Lets see here...i've got soo many its ridiculous..
Once i saw this kid from my in the park and he claimed that he could do dinner rolls and sevens and shit, and i was like bust a 3 over the big table...and he heads towards the big table and cuts over and goes off the small table and does a three but halfway though he did a spread eagle or something and at shit it was hideious but it was funny cause he sucked...
Hey yo, im bringin' it down with the sick boyz crew
Ill urban jibs is what we do
People barf, when we throw down
Cause the SBC is the illest in the town.

me and my friends were skiing in the woods and thwere was a bigass puddle of sludge under about 3 inches of snow, and my friend lost his ski in it, and it took us about











You know that milk you had with your cereal this morning? Well, I pissed in it. PASTEURIZE THAT BITCH.

15 minutes to find it with our poles, and then the sluidge froze on the bottom of his ski, so he had to ski down on one ski to thaw it, it was hysterical.











You know that milk you had with your cereal this morning? Well, I pissed in it. PASTEURIZE THAT BITCH.

My mum and I were skiing around at Treble Cone here in NZ. We were skiing around in a bowl which was basically on the other side of the mountain from the main base lodge (I forget names, sorry Timmy :). We had booked a lesson for like 1pm or something, but we lost track of time and at 12:45 realised we kinda had to get back in a hurry. So we decided to head down a run which we though would get us to the base quicker.
Little did we know, the run was closed because of a lack of snow. So after about 5 minutes of sking on about 5cms of snow...we came to a pretty steep hill with no snow on it. We wern't going to walk back so we decided to walk down the hill.
Unfortunatly the hill was a little bit more muddy than we thought. I went first, carrying my skis, and not more than 2 steps later I slipped and was now sliding down this muddy hill on my ass.
About 50 meters later I stopped, covered in mud, laughing my ass off.
My mum then started to come down. Thinking she was smart she took a slightly different route to what I did. Didn't work. She slipped and came romping down the hill in much the same fashion.
After about 5 minutes of laughing our heads off we got up and skied to the lesson meeting point. Both of us covered in mud.

Should have seen the look on the instructors face...

What gravity?

For part of a home made ski vid we decided to film a 'crash skit' while getting on the lift.

So this guy and me went togther with the camera behind us. He was like stumbling and pushing me everywhere and just at the right moment he fell over (nearly taking me down). He ducked his head as the chair was about to go over him but he didn't realise that his tails were still up in the air. The chair cam e around hooked onto his ski drang him for about 5 feet , ski came off friend went into the pit followed by me laughing my head off.

It was a performance worthy of an oscar, don't think he wanted it to be that real!





Getting caught with your penis up an Elephant's ass is about as much fun as AIDS

If you ski in the BC much, then you probably have come across those big pits where there is a stream of icy runoff in the bottom and you say to yourself, 'If I ever fell into one of those, it would mark the worst moment of my entire life.'
Well, I was skiing with Schwags and some other people, I don't really remember, but we were hitting this jump in the Alpental BC so when we left we just went down, angling right at the upper lot. So anyways, I'm real tired from hiking and I'm having kind of a shitty run. So I stop like 10 feet above this 6 or 7 foot pit. I looked right at it and thought to myself, 'I really don't want to fall into this pit.' So I tried to go around it, but ended up getting my ski caught on a root that was just underneath the snow so I couldn't see it. Needless to say, my skis stopped and I kept going, headfirst into the icy water.
So I'm in this fucking pit, knee deep in the coldest water ever. I popped my skis off and threw them out, and, somehow, got myself out of it as well. I go to put my skis back on and there is half an inch of ice stuck to the bases. I couldn't go more than like 3 miles an hour. In short, it was the worst experience of my life and I feel like the biggest loser ever every time I tell this story.

...this one time at band camp...

Darryl Hunt

'We don't believe in McDonalds, we are against everything McDonalds does... ..We go to Burger King.' Fat Mike

SirJIbsalot! did the kid say he was johnny ,oselys cousin, and wear a brouwn beori helmety and lie alot, and say that his REAL skis are at home and they are a comboo of different companies, and he took his poles in the same manner ar pushin a shopping cart, and say he was in the Xgames and his mom didnt aprove of freeskiing, and lie ALOT?????? cause i met a kid like that at COP

Don of the Calgary Jib Family
Keep on Keepin on

man, we were at smuggs last year..and we decided to ski all the closed runs and not go on one open run the whole day...our skis got so fucked up..so we decided to shi the entire mountain in the stream. We would sk in the stream, and jump from rock to rock..there were a few waterfalls, and one of them..the last guy to go over broke through the ice and got soaked..and we had to keep stopping to scrape the frozen slush off our bases......and then i saw some partridges and threw my ski at it.......and 4 hours later we started moving again....i gat mad beatings when we got down.



'Fuckin injuns'

'Fuckin injuns'

'Man, it's like all my ass hairs are knotting toghether and when i walk, it's like, OW! SHIT! MOTHERFUCKER!!' - my bud greg on a hike

SUck My AnTeAtEr